Condom Quotes - Page 3

• Five trolls in a dra-a-a-a-ag,' the four-inch man sang from my shoulder. 'Four purple condoms, three French ticklers, two horny vamps and a succubus in the snow.

  Kim Harrison

  Men, Two, Purple

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• Yesterday in Egypt, archaeologists discovered the burial site for the 50 children of Ramses II...Fifty children! What I want to know is, who decided to name a condom after this guy?

  Conan O'Brien

  Children, Egypt, Names

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• I love when problems have simple solutions. Cold medicine. Umbrellas. Condoms. Tax incentives & subsidies attracting favored industries.

  Greg Fitzsimmons

  Simple, Medicine, Subsidies

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• I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18 The first time was a nightmare. Who shows you how to use a condom?

  Adam Ant

  Use, Firsts, Nightmare

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• The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds. It's the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework.

  Jennifer Weiner

  Dog, Stupid, Sound

  Jennifer Weiner (2008). “Little Earthquakes”, p.243, Simon and Schuster

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• The routine promotion of condoms through advertising has been stopped by networks who are so hypocritically priggish that they refuse to describe disease control as they promote disease transmission.

  Henry Waxman

  Routine, Disease, Advertising

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• Some men send me condoms and underpants. I'm not sure what they want.

  Martine McCutcheon

  Men, Want, Not Sure

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• You know, we are one nation under a god. Yes, you were right. An angry, crack slinging god who decorates with bullets and spent condoms.

  Henry Rollins

  Cracks, Bullets, Knows

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• but I don't want to wear a condom because I don't feel anything," and she says calmly... glaring at me,"If you don't use one you're not going to feel anything anyway.

  Bret Easton Ellis

  Use, Want, Feels

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• I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.

  Dana Gould

  Looks, Tone, Muscles

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• There is not only a lack of success for condoms. It's worse than that - they are utter failures.

  Wendy Wright

  Lust

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• If we can just get young people to do the same as their fathers did, that is, wear condoms

  Richard Branson

  Father, People, Young

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• In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.

  Bruce Lansky

  Night, Two, Minnesota

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• Only 3 percent of people in the DRC use condoms.

  Amy Lockwood

  People, Use, Healthcare

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• So-called real life has only once interfered with me, and it had been a far cry from what the words, lines, books had prepared me for. Fate had to do with blind seers, oracles, choruses announcing death, not with panting next to the refrigerator, fumbling with condoms, waiting in a Honda parked round the corner and surreptitious encounters in a Lisbon hotel. Only the written word exists, everything one must do oneself is without form, subject to contingency without rhyme or reason. It takes too long. And if it ends badly the metre isn't right, and there's no way to cross things out.

  Cees Nooteboom

  Real, Book, Fate

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• [Television executives] are afraid to advertise condoms that could save lives, but do not blush about telecasting a National Geographic special on President Reagan's pelvic plumbing.

  Martin Nolan

  Special, President, Television

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• I have a couple of 'doing caps' in my wallet. That's what I call condoms.

  Aziz Ansari

  Couple, Caps, Wallets

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• I carry condoms in my purse, even though I haven't had sex in a long time. I'm hoping for luck! And I carry them so I can give them to other people who might want or need them, or who might want to have a conversation.

  Sharon Stone

  Sex, Long, People

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• I want young women when they're 14 to start thinking about what they want over the course of their lives. I think it's criminal - child abuse - that they're not told to do this [in school]. Right now it's just sex education and putting condoms on bananas. Girls should be asked to think about what they want in their lives when they're 50, 60 and 70.

  Camille Paglia

  Girl, Children, School

  Source: www.macleans.ca

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• I would think that if you understood what sex education is, you would get down on your knees and worship a condom.

  Jane Fonda

  Sex, Thinking, Knees

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• Recently, there's been a trend in America that I find very disturbing... rewarding immoral and illegal behavior...For example, we now give free needles to junkies, which seems to me to be only a step away from giving condoms to rapists.

  Bill Maher

  America, Giving, Example

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• They had this movie called Juno about a teenage girl who gets pregnant and it's nominated for an Oscar. That's an unusual experience for me, 'cause when a black girl gets pregnant it ain't no Oscar. It's social work and a box of condoms is what that is.

  D. L. Hughley

  Girl, Teenage, Black

  The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, January 17, 2008.

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• If Obama can force you to get health insurance just by calling it a tax, than there is nothing to stop him from making you gay marry an illegal immigrant wearing a condom on a hydroponic pot farm powered by solar energy.

  Stephen Colbert

  Gay, Calling, Energy

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• I don't wear no condom and I don't plan for no kids.

  Bill Cosby

  Kids, Plans

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• I've heard the sound of 70 condoms being scraped over the floor at the British Museum. It feels like being an adventurer. Why would you stay in your living room if you could go out and experience things no one's ever experienced?

  Herbert

  Museums, Sound, Rooms

  Interview with Nitsuh Abebe, pitchfork.com. November 10, 2008.

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