Fart Quotes - Page 7

As a human being, as you go through the course of your day, you might wake up with the shittiest day, and by noon something f - king historically funny happens around the water cooler, and you're about to fart yourself you're laughing so hard. And then you might have to think about something seriously for a minute.

Killer Mike

Kings, Thinking, Laughing So Hard

Source: www.billboard.com

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It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are an old fart. That's how people see you. It makes you feel quite alone.

Terry Pratchett

Cancer, Alzheimer's, Differences

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I am happy everywhere except in places where I see glitz and rich farts. I am happiest in Brooklyn, where the concentration of rich farts is minimal.

Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Brooklyn, Rich, Glitz

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Television is the Antichrist, and I can assure you after only three or four generations, people will no longer even know how to fart on their own and humans will return to medieval savagery and to the general state of imbecility that slugs overcame back in the Pleistocene era. Our world will not die as a result of the bomb...it will die of laughter, of banality, of making a joke of everything and a lousy joke at that.

Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Laughter, Our World, People

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In many ways, Eulah-Beulah prepared me for literary criticism. After having a two-hundred-pound babysitter fart on your face and yell Pow!, The Village Voice holds few terrors.

Stephen King

Two, Voice, Criticism

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Let me see if I can put this in scientific terms: Think of autism like a fart, and vaccines are the finger you pull to make it happen.

Jenny McCarthy

Thinking, Vaccines, Autism

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On the downside, to paraphrase Thom Yorke talking about the music business, we're still having to deal with the stench of the last fart of the dying corpse of this regressive vision that America is a white, middle-aged, male, conservative country.

Edward Norton

Country, Talking, White

Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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I wrote the book based on a blog that I keep. I also tweet. I don't think that for an incredibly old fart I'm totally behind the power curve. I really believe that the essentials of human relationships remain the same.

Tom Peters

Book, Believe, Thinking

Source: iveybusinessjournal.com

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Spending so much time on the road, I get to fart all the time. Then when it's, like, Thanksgiving dinner and I'm sitting with my grandmother, I can't fart for, like, two hours.

Tom DeLonge

Grandmother, Two, Sitting

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There is Harlan Ellison the human being, who takes a crap a couple of times a day, and who farts, and who eats chicken croquettes, if I can find them. And then there is the writer, this writer-person, who is a much finer person than I. Much more orderly, much more meaningful. Worthier, than I [am].

Harlan Ellison

Meaningful, Couple, Chickens

"Harlan Ellison, Part Two". Interview with Tasha Robinson, www.avclub.com. June 08, 2008.

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You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.

Wanda Sykes

Men, Thinking, Office

Source: www.avclub.com

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Some people get lots of pleasure; From books or from music or art; But boys seem to think it's fantastic; To just have a really good fart.

Giles Andreae

Art, Book, Boys

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You never want to look like an old fart doing young rap music.

DJ Quik

Rap, Looks, Want

Interview with David Drake, pitchfork.com. October 15, 2014.

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Besides, when you say you're a feminist it annoys the bigots and the old farts and the prissy ladies so much, it's kind of irresistible.

Ursula K. Le Guin

Feminist, Kind, Annoying

Interview with Guy Haley, guyhaley.wordpress.com. September 17, 2014.

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Robert Plant asked me to marry him, but I said 'no.' I mean, you just don't want to marry someone you've wanted to do it with since you were thirteen, because, well, if he farts, I would, like, die!

Tori Amos

Mean, Want, Plant

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Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.

Demetri Martin

Relate, Jokes

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Though I've turned 21, I don't drink. I'm an old hag now. I'm just an old fart.

Mena Suvari

Drink, Old Farts

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Right now, the old guys, the old farts, if you will, are still running the show, and the women haven't gotten their place yet at all.

Chris Matthews

Running, Guy, Shows

Source: www.msnbc.com

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The rest of the guys in Sabbath became boring old farts, and there I was, this crazy guy, still into wrecking hotel rooms and having parties.

Ozzy Osbourne

Crazy, Party, Guy

Ozzy Osbourne (2002). “Ozzy Talking: Ozzy Osbourne in His Own Words”, Omnibus Press& Schirmer Trade Books

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