Funny Baseball Quotes - Page 2

• The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.

  Dizzy Dean

  Funny, Baseball, Stupid

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Bruce Benedict is so slow he'd finish third in a race with a pregnant woman.

  Tommy Lasorda

  Baseball, Race, Pregnant Women

  4 Copy quote

• I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance.

  Ron Shelton

  Baseball, Jesus, Believe

  "Fictional character: Annie Savoy". "Bull Durham", 1988.

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• During my 18 years I came to bat almost 10,000 times. I struck out about 1,700 times and walked maybe 1,800 times. You figure a ballplayer will average about 500 at-bats a season. That means I played 7 years without ever hitting the ball.

  Mickey Mantle

  Sports, Baseball, Mean

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  112 Copy quote

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• When you win you eat better, sleep better and your beer tastes better. And your wife looks like Gina Lollobrigida.

  Johnny Pesky

  Baseball, Sleep, Beer

  7 Copy quote

• When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Softball, Baseball

  10 Copy quote

• There are three things in my life which I really love: God, my family, and baseball. The only problem - once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit.

  Al Gallagher

  Baseball, Order, Three

  52 Copy quote

• There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither of them work.

  Charley Lau

  Inspirational, Motivational, Baseball

  12 Copy quote

• Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

  Abe Lemons

  Motivational Sports, School, Doctors

  55 Copy quote
• 

  Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.

  Babe Ruth

  Inspirational, Motivational, Positive

  137 Copy quote

• Baseball statistics are like a girl in a bikini. They show a lot, but not everything.

  Toby Harrah

  Girl, Baseball, Statistics

  9 Copy quote

• The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.

  Yogi Berra

  Funny, Hilarious, Sports

  67 Copy quote

• Chicks who dig home runs aren't the ones who appeal to me. I think there's sexiness in infield hits because they require technique. I'd rather impress the chicks with my technique than with my brute strength. Then, every now and then, just to show I can do that, too, I might flirt a little by hitting one out.

  Ichiro Suzuki

  Strength, Baseball, Sexy

  "Suzuki on a First-Name Basis With Records" by Brad Lefton, www.nytimes.com. August 22, 2009.

  103 Copy quote

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• So I'm ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face.

  Yogi Berra

  Beauty, Baseball, Yankees

  Quoted in Paul Dickson, Baseball's Greatest Quotations (1991)

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• It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.

  A. Bartlett Giamatti

  Motivational, Summer, Softball

  "The Green Fields of the Mind," Yale Alumni Magazine, Nov. 1977

  88 Copy quote

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• I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.

  Casey Stengel

  Baseball, Mlb, Practice

  31 Copy quote

• If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.

  Dave Barry

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  22 Copy quote

• With the money I'm making, I should be playing two positions.

  Pete Rose

  Baseball, Motivational Sports, Two

  8 Copy quote

• Baseball was made for kids, and grown-ups only screw it up.

  Bob Lemon

  Funny, Baseball, Kids

  15 Copy quote

• Ninety percent of this game is half mental.

  Yogi Berra

  Funny, Baseball, Yankees

  24 Copy quote

• If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

  Yogi Berra

  Funny, Happiness, Baseball

  Yogi: It Ain't Over (1989)

  57 Copy quote

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• Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes.

  Will Rogers

  Baseball, Games, America

  Paula Love, Will Rogers (1972). “The Will Rogers book”, Texian Pr

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• Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.

  Bill Veeck

  Softball, Baseball, Inspirational Sports

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  48 Copy quote

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• Baseball is a fun game. It beats working for a living.

  Phil Linz

  Baseball, Fun, Games

  44 Copy quote

• They give you a round bat and they throw you a round ball. And they tell you to hit it square.

  Willie Stargell

  Sports, Baseball, Squares

  18 Copy quote