Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
I was dating this guy and we would spend all day text messaging each other. And he thought that he could tell that he liked me more because he actually spelt the word 'YOU' and I just put the letter 'U'.
Dating is different when you get older. You're not as trusting, or as eager to get back out there and expose yourself to someone.
I am a strong believer in kissing
being very intimate, and the minute you kiss, the floodgates
open for everything else.
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
If you kiss on the first date and it's not right, then there will be no second date. Sometimes it's better to hold out and not kiss for a long time. I am a strong believer in kissing being very intimate, and the minute you kiss, the floodgates open for everything else.
Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
We are constantly protecting the male ego, and it's a disservice to men. If a man has any sensitivity or intelligence, he wants to get the straight scoop from his girlfriend.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I think more dating stuff is scheduling. It's needing people who understand your work schedule.
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain.
Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible.
I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.
I don't know the first real thing about the dating game. I don't know how to talk to a specific person and connect. I just think you have to go to person by person and do the best you can with people in general.
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
If a girl breaks up with me, I want her to just die, just be dead. Not 'cause I hate her so much as it's just easier for when my friends go, 'Hey, what happened?' 'Oh, she's dead. I'd still be with her, but she's dead. What can I do? She was loving me, but she's dead.'
I pulled the boy close to me and said you see that girl, thats my only lil girl. So if you think about huggin or kissin. Remember these words. I aint afraid to go back to prison.
Look, this is an odd question, but you're kind of cute and you're pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It's OK if you are.
My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
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