Funny Food Quotes - Page 4

• Show me who your friends are, and I will tell you what you are.

  Unknown

  Horse, Food, Garden

  183 Copy quote

• Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Food, Lakes, Sea

  8 Copy quote

• Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Food, Humor

  Without Feathers "Selections from the Allen Notebooks" (1975)

  15 Copy quote

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• Soup is just a way of screwing you out of a meal.

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Food, Cooking

  25 Copy quote
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  Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.30, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

  92 Copy quote

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• I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.

  Woody Allen

  Witty, Food, Oysters

  "Don't Drink the Water: A Comedy in Two Acts". Play by Woody Allen (p. 26), 1967.

  59 Copy quote

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• I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead.

  Oscar Wilde

  Food, Oysters, Sick

  24 Copy quote

• Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Easter, Food

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.129, Vintage

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• The way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife.

  Jo Brand

  Sex, Food, Heart

  10 Copy quote

• How can a nation be called great if its bread tastes like kleenex?

  Julia Child

  Food, Taste, Baking Bread

  "How to Avoid TV Dinners While Watching TV" by Joan Barthel, The New York Times Magazine, p. 34, August 7, 1966.

  17 Copy quote

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• I don't eat red meat, but sometimes a man needs a steak.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Food, Men, Meat

  "The Best Lines From Gwyneth Paltrow's New Cookbook". Interview with Raphael Brion, www.eater.com. March 19, 2013.

  52 Copy quote

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• Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Chocolate, Shapes, Prisms

  Twitter post from Sep 26, 2013

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• If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.

  LIZ

  Meat, Thanks, Arrangements

  4 Copy quote

• Sometimes the way to a man's heart is through his talleywacker.

  Sabrina Jeffries

  Sex, Food, Heart

  13 Copy quote

• Somebody dies and people eat your food. Funny how that works.

  Sherman Alexie

  People, Dies

  4 Copy quote

• And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats.

  George Carlin

  Food, Cooking, Culinary

  12 Copy quote

• The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

  Roseanne Barr

  Marriage, Sex, Food

  13 Copy quote

• Alfred Austin said, "Show me your garden and I shall tell you what you are."

  Alfred Austin

  Horse, Food, Journey

  "Fictional character: Alex Blake". "Criminal Minds". Season 8, Episode 5: "The Good Earth", www.imdb.com. October 31, 2012.

  35 Copy quote

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• A human can be healthy without killing animals for food.

  Leo Tolstoy

  Food, Animal, Meat Consumption

  41 Copy quote