Funny Happy Thanksgiving Quotes - Page 2

The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness.

Dalai Lama

Inspirational, Positive, Thank You

Dalai Lama (1994). “The Path to Enlightenment”, p.105, Shambhala

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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving, Sports, Football

"On Being Blonde: Wit and Wisdom from the World's Most Infamous Blondes". Book by Paula Munier, p. 67, September 1, 2004.

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I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

Craig Ferguson

Funny, Thanksgiving, Football

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May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs!

Grandpa Jones

Thanksgiving, Yams, Turkeys

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God is glorified, not by our groans, but by our thanksgivings.

Edwin Percy Whipple

Thanksgiving, Thankful, Funny Thanksgiving

Edwin Percy Whipple (1875). “Success and Its Conditions”, p.195

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An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

Irv Kupcinet

Thanksgiving, Optimistic, Turkeys

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I love Thanksgiving turkey... It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Thanksgiving, Turkeys, Los Angeles

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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

Johnny Carson

Thanksgiving, Holiday, Emotional

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Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, 'Here, kitty, kitty.'

David Letterman

Thanksgiving, Mom, Drinking

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We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning.

Albert C. Barnes

Thanksgiving, Thankful, Dark

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Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has many - not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.

Charles Dickens

Inspirational, Happiness, Thanksgiving

Charles Dickens (1839). “Sketches by Boz”, p.172

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We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

Albert Schweitzer

Friendship, Thanksgiving, Thank You

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He who thanks but with the lips. Thanks but in part; the full, the true Thanksgiving. Comes from the heart.

John G. Shedd

Thanksgiving, Christian, Appreciation

"The Yale Book of Quotations". Book by Fred R. Shapiro, p. 705, 2006.

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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

Wilson Mizner

Motivational, Thanksgiving, Thankful

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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

Erma Bombeck

Inspirational, Funny, Life

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You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, Don't feed them. If you feed them, they'll never leave.

Dylan Brody

Thanksgiving, Wise, Native American

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I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

Jon Stewart

Funny, Thanksgiving, Holiday

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In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

Albert Schweitzer

Inspirational, Motivational, Friendship

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If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.

W. Clement Stone

Thanksgiving, Thankful, Gratitude

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Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

Melody Beattie

Inspirational, Life, Change

Melody Beattie (2013). “Melody Beattie 4 Title Bundle: Codependent No More and 3 Other Best Sellers by Melody Beattie: A collection of four Melody Beattie best sellers”, Hazelden Publishing

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Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.

Henry Van Dyke

Thanksgiving, Gratitude, Kindness

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Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.

W. T. Purkiser

Thanksgiving, Thank You, Gratitude

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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Phyllis Diller

Thanksgiving, Fun, Kids

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Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.

Jim Davis

Thanksgiving, Food, Zucchini

Jim Davis (2012). “Garfield Eats His Heart Out: His 6th Book”, p.4, Ballantine Group

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If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get.

Frank A. Clark

Motivational, Thanksgiving, Thankful

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