Funny Happy Thanksgiving Quotes

So once in every year we throng Upon a day apart, to praise the Lord with feast and song in thankfulness of heart.

Arthur Guiterman

Thanksgiving, Song, Heart

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If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.

W. Clement Stone

Thanksgiving, Thankful, Gratitude

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Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.

Oprah Winfrey

Positive, Thank You, Thanksgiving

FaceBook post by Oprah Winfrey from Oct 03, 2011

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For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, for love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanksgiving, Thankful, Gratitude

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Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” —

William Arthur Ward

Thanksgiving, Thankful, Gratitude

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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?

Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving, Food, Mean

Erma Bombeck (2013). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.271, Open Road Media

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Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.

Margaret Cousins

Change, Thanksgiving, Thank You

Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, Don't feed them. If you feed them, they'll never leave.

Dylan Brody

Thanksgiving, Wise, Native American

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I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the 'history' I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America's traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it's a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all.

Ellen Orleans

Thanksgiving, Strong, Holiday

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Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.

W. T. Purkiser

Thanksgiving, Thank You, Gratitude

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Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.

P. J. O'Rourke

Thanksgiving, Years, Thankfulness

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Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.

Mike Connolly

Thanksgiving, Vegetarianism, Turkeys

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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

Rita Rudner

Funny, Thanksgiving, Mother

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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.'

Mitch Hedberg

Thanksgiving, Being Yourself, Fun

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Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song.

Conrad Gessner

Thank You, Thanksgiving, Song

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I give thanks to my Creator for this wonderful life where each of us has the opportunity to learn lessons we could not fully comprehend by any other means.

Joseph B. Wirthlin

Thanksgiving, Mean, Opportunity

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You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.

Jay Leno

Thanksgiving, Too Much, Funny Thanksgiving

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We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing

George Carlin

Thanksgiving, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

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I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

Jon Stewart

Funny, Thanksgiving, Holiday

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In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

Albert Schweitzer

Inspirational, Motivational, Friendship

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Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

Melody Beattie

Inspirational, Life, Change

Melody Beattie (2013). “Melody Beattie 4 Title Bundle: Codependent No More and 3 Other Best Sellers by Melody Beattie: A collection of four Melody Beattie best sellers”, Hazelden Publishing

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Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.

Henry Van Dyke

Thanksgiving, Gratitude, Kindness

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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Phyllis Diller

Thanksgiving, Fun, Kids

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Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.

Jim Davis

Thanksgiving, Food, Zucchini

Jim Davis (2012). “Garfield Eats His Heart Out: His 6th Book”, p.4, Ballantine Group

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If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get.

Frank A. Clark

Motivational, Thanksgiving, Thankful

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