Irs Quotes - Page 5

• Your taxes are due a week from today. You can make out your check directly to Halliburton. Or you can do what I'm going to do. I'm filing my first joint return. No, I'm not getting married, I'm sending the IRS an actual joint with a note that says, 'If you think I'm paying for this war, you must be high.'

  Bill Maher

  War, Thinking, Today

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• We know the IRS has made clear there is no prohibition on releasing it when you're under audit.

  Hillary Clinton

  Prohibition, Made, Clear

  "2016 Presidential Debates", TV Mini-Series (2016– ). "Episode #1.1", www.imdb.com. 2016.

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• In enforcement, you always have to have both a focus on the really worst actors - you know, gang bangers, in this case, drug dealers, that sort of thing - but also routine enforcement because think about, for instance, the IRS. They don't say, OK, well, if you're not a money launderer, it doesn't matter whether you fill your tax return out right or not. They have both. They go after the really bad actors and they have a kind of general, routine enforcement.

  Mark Krikorian

  Thinking, Focus, Drug

  "A Closer Look At Obama Administration's Controversial Deportation Plans". "All Things Considered" with Michel Martin, www.npr.org. December 26, 2015.

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• In 2013 Citigroup had profits of $6.4 billion in the United States. They paid no federal income tax and, in fact, received a rebate from the IRS of $260 million. That same year J.P. Morgan had $17.2 billion in profits in the U.S. They also paid no federal income tax. Do you think it's time for tax reform?

  Bernie Sanders

  Thinking, Years, United States

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• I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip, which according to your very own latest government pentagon spending figures will more than make up for the difference.

  Emo Philips

  Government, Differences, Paper

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• Get rid of IRS; get rid of income tax; get rid of spending.

  Ron Paul

  Income, Spending, Taxes

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• There are already current laws on the books and there are - and jurisdictions. The IRS can come in and do any kind of investigation of a person.

  Paula White

  Book, Law, Kind

  Source: culteducation.com

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• The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hotlines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly.

  Dave Barry

  Ideas, Tolls, Information

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• With all due respect to Speaker Hastert, trying to eliminate the IRS by adopting a national retail sales tax is a very dumb idea.

  Bruce Bartlett

  Ideas, Dumb, Trying

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• When I write my annual tax column, some ex-IRS agent will complain, "There you go IRS bashing again." They're always saying that they're just doing their job. Someone I know once said, "You could get another job."

  Dave Barry

  Jobs, Writing, Agents

  ""All I Think Is That It's Stupid": An Interview with Dave Barry". Interview with Glenn Garvin, reason.com. December, 1994.

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• President Clinton says he looks forward to the day a citizen can call the IRS and get the right answer to a question. I look forward to the day I can call the IRS and get a voice that says, 'Sorry, that number has been disconnected.'

  Jay Leno

  Sorry, Voice, Numbers

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• The government doesn't want us to have weapons and yet, they have weapons. I think the biggest weapon they have is the IRS - Internal Revenue Service. They can use taxes as a weapon, and the IRS code that you can't even figure it out.

  Glenn Beck

  Thinking, Government, Use

  "Chuck Norris Defends Second Amendment, Talks Taxation". "Glenn Beck" with Glenn Beck, www.foxnews.com. February 26, 2009.

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• When preparing your return, you should be sure to avoid common mistakes. The two most common taxpayer mistakes, states the IRS booklet, are (1) "failure to include a current address," and (2) "failure to be a large industry that gives humongous contributions to key tax-law-writing congresspersons."

  Dave Barry

  Mistake, Writing, Law

  Dave Barry (1994). “The World According to Dave Barry”, Outlet

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• Churches are tax exempt because they are supposed to provide a public good. To prove that good to the IRS, churches arent supposed to hoard their money. They are supposed to spend it on goods and services for the faithful. Under this pretense, the church has made massive investments in tax free real estate all over the world. And when it comes to labor costs, they are almost free.

  Lawrence Wright

  Real, Faithful, Church

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• The only people helped by the death tax are lawyers, accountants, and IRS agents.

  Bob Schaffer

  People, Agents, Lawyer

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• If you're tempted to believe with Governor Cuomo that government is just like Mom and Pop rather than Big Brother, just ask yourself one question: When was the last time all the IRS wanted from you was a hug and a kiss.

  Paul Laxalt

  Mom, Brother, Believe

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• Yesterday the IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you're allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents.

  Conan O'Brien

  Two, Yesterday, Break

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• Obamas IRS is not the IRS Ive ever known for over seventy years as an American citizen.

  Michael Moriarty

  Years, Citizens, Seventies

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• Rather than passing a thousand pages of tax reform legislation and restarting the tax code manipulation process, we should change the paradigm. It is time to eliminate the IRS and repeal the 16th Amendment.

  Jim Bridenstine

  Pages, Manipulation, Reform

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• Celebrate me for who I am, dislike me for what I ain't (...) put me up on a pedestal or drag me down in the dirt (...) this is who I am, you can like ir or not, you can love me or leave me cuz I'm never gonna stop

  Madonna Ciccone

  Who I Am, Dislike Me, Pedestal

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• I am one Dana when I am talking to my daughter, another when I am talking to the IRS, and another still when I do an interview. These characters are just extreme versions of ordinary human self-switching.

  Dana Spiotta

  Daughter, Character, Self

  "Dana Spiotta’s Age of Innocence". Interview with Jeff Vasishta, www.interviewmagazine.com. March 11, 2016.

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• I have often thought that the difference between a cult and a religion is an IRS ruling.

  Ron Barrier

  Religious, Differences, Ruling

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• Another agency - the IRS - did not do as well under Republicans who control Congress. The IRS is largely flatlined in their spending, but they did get about 300 million more funding. But I can only be used to help people pay their taxes and answer questions. It can't be used for any other purpose.

  Susan Davis

  Agency, People, Purpose

  Source: www.npr.org

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• Suppose that throughout your childhood you were good with numbers. Other kids used to copy your homework. You figured store discounts faster than your parents. People came to you for help with such things. So you took accounting and eventually became a tax auditor for the IRS. What an embarrassing job, right? You feel you should be writing poetry or doing aviation mechanics or whatever. But then you realize that tax collecting can be a calling too.

  James Hillman

  Jobs, Writing, Kids

  Source: scottlondon.com

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• The presidency has even become a partisan thing. The presidency has been totally politicized and totally made partisan, as evidenced by the IRS going after the Tea Party and any number of other examples I give you.

  Rush Limbaugh

  Party, Numbers, Giving

  Source: www.rushlimbaugh.com

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