Irs Quotes - Page 2

• Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

  Peg Bracken

  Memorable, Cutting, Two

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• IRS is very poorly equipped to make a distinction between what is a religion and what is not.

  Lawrence Wright

  Distinction

  "Lawrence Wright on 'Going Clear'". Interview with Mark Guarino, www.chicagotribune.com. January 18, 2013.

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• I have not done anything wrong. I have not broken any laws. I have not violated any IRS rules or regulations and I have not provided false information to this or any other committee.

  Lois Lerner

  Law, Broken, Regulation

  "IRS official in charge of targeting unit takes the 5th" by Tom Cohen, www.cnn.com. May 23, 2013.

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• The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

  Arthur C. Clarke

  Zero, Funny Life, Business

  "The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners". Book by Geoff Tibballs (p. 264), 2004.

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• It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta

  Dave Barry

  Income, Taxation, Taxes Funny

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• The United States has a system of taxation by confession

  Hugo Black

  America, United States, Taxation

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• When things get tough, this is what you should do: Make good art. I'm serious. Husband runs off with a politician -- make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by a mutated boa constrictor -- make good art. IRS on your trail -- make good art. Cat exploded -- make good art. Someone on the Internet thinks what you're doing is stupid or evil or it's all been done before -- make good art.

  Neil Gaiman

  Running, Art, Husband

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• The theory of the IRS is rather repugnant to me because the assumption is made that I, the government, owns 100% of your income and I permit you to keep 5%, 10% or 20%. You're vulnerable, you've sold out. The government can take 80% if they want, which they did at one time.

  Ron Paul

  Government, Income, Want

  "Ron Paul | Candidates at Google". Interview with Elliot Schrage, www.youtube.com. July 14, 2007.

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• One poll showed that Americans have a higher opinion of witches, the IRS and hemorrhoids than Congress

  Tom Coburn

  Hemorrhoids, Opinion, Witch

  "Sen. Tom Coburn: A proud contrarian". "60 minutes" with Lesley Stahl, www.cbsnews.com. December 21, 2014.

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• Well, what did we buy? Instead of a leaner, smarter government, we bought a bureaucracy that now tells us which light bulbs to buy, and which will put 16,500 IRS agents in charge of policing President Obama's health care bill.

  Michele Bachmann

  Light, Government, President

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• Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Writing, Names, Lists

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• There are more words in the IRS code than there are in the Bible. And not a one of them is as good.

  Ted Cruz

  Code

  "Ted Cruz: Anti-amnesty candidate can win a general election". "The Hannity Show", www.foxnews.com. November 11, 2015.

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• It's a game. We tax lawyers teach the rich how to play it so they can stay rich-and the IRS keeps changing the rules so we can keep getting rich teaching them.

  John Grisham

  Teaching, Games, Play

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• Print neatly. That's the kind of advice that the IRS considers a "dynamite" tax tip. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they're useless.

  Dave Barry

  Real, Advice, Taxation

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• Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.

  Jay Leno

  Fools Day, People, Trying

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• Form 1040 was chosen by the IRS because for every $50 you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.

  Jay Leno

  Liberty, Libertarian, Form

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• Chacun peut e  prouver en soi ce double mouvement: de s ir de s'inte  grer a'   la socie  te  , besoin de se re  aliser par soi-me"  me en dehors d'elle. We all have this double impulse within ourselves: the desire to integrate into society, and the need to fulfil ourselves outside of it, through our own efforts.

  Nathalie Sarraute

  Effort, Desire, Needs

  La Quinzaine litte raire, 50.

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• However accurate or inaccurate the agency's numbers may be, tax law explicitly presumes that the IRS is always right -- and implicitly presumes that the taxpayer is always wrong -- in any dispute with the government. In many cases, the IRS introduces no evidence whatsoever of its charges; it merely asserts that a taxpayer had a certain amount of unreported income and therefore owes a proportionate amount in taxes, plus interest and penalties.

  James Bovard

  Government, Law, Numbers

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• I hate it. I just do. That [artificial turf], local news, the IRS, and hair dryers are the four worst inventions of the century.

  Beano Cook

  Hate, Science, Hair

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• Its contempt for citizens ... is so routine, and so unlimited, that the agency has become a kind of Frankenstein, running wild and terrorizing Americans at will. The IRS hypocritically requires mistake-free returns when its own books are in shambles. It demands exorbitant sums of money without regard to the accuracy of its claims. It doesn't hesitate to use every possible maneuver to get what it wants, sometimes destroying businesses -- and lives -- in the process.

  James Bovard

  Running, Mistake, Book

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• Writing checks to the IRS that include strings of zeros does not bother me ... Overall, we feel extraordinarily lucky to have been dealt a hand in life that enables us to write large checks to the government rather than one requiring the government to regularly write checks to us-say, because we are disabled or unemployed.

  Warren Buffett

  Business, Writing, Government

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• The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.

  Dave Barry

  Humorous, Long, Brain

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• Le de s ir de la prie'  re est de j a'   une prie'  re. The wish for prayer is already a prayer.

  Georges Bernanos

  Prayer, Wish

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• I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.

  Robert T. Bakker

  Names, Want, Predator

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• I walked toward her office,lost in thought about Lish, and poor Steve,and all the other souls I'd sent out of this life,some quite literally. Where did they go?Did Steve go the same place as Lish?And was it vampire Steve ir normal Steve? What exactly happened to the souls when their human bodies died and became vampires?And then when the vampire bodies died?Hello,headache.

  Kiersten White

  Office, Soul, Vampire

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