Kids Quotes - Page 15

• I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Baby, Children

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.292, Open Road Media

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• My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Baby, Children

  Erma Bombeck, Bil Keane (2011). “Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own!”, p.119, Fawcett

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• Give an average baby a fair chance, and if it doesn't do something it oughtn't to a doctor should be called in at once.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Funny, Baby, Children

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.92, Jerome K. Jerome

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• We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Baby, Children

  Phyllis Diller (2006). “Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse: My Life in Comedy”, p.68, Penguin

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• Family is always first. Even though my kids are older - my son is 25 and my daughter is 21 - I still like to sit down and have dinner with them as much as I can.

  Jaclyn Smith

  Daughter, Mother, Son

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• About the time I turned 50, I experienced the profound biological change that often accompanies women at that age. Also, I put two kids in college and lost both of my parents, so I'm no longer somebody's daughter.

  Jane Pauley

  Daughter, Mother, College

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• Beware the cute, hot guy who kind of reminds you of the parent you don't get along with: your cold, distant father who left when you were a kid or your hot-tempered mother whom you could never please.

  Merrill Markoe

  Cute, Mother, Father

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• It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Funny Friend, Government, Library

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• How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Earth, Aliens

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• You know lots of criticism is written by characters who are very academic and think it is a sign you are worthless if you make jokes or kid or even clown. I wouldn't kid Our Lord if he was on the cross. But I would attempt a joke with him if I ran into him chasing the money changers out of the temple.

  Ernest Hemingway

  Character, Thinking, Criticism

  Ernest Hemingway (2008). “The Good Life According to Hemingway”, Ecco

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• I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.

  Roseanne Barr

  Jobs, Parenting, The End Of The Day

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• It would take a lot of time and effort (to repair the computers). And they can't run (programs and games) kids are interested in today. They're not even on the Internet. We wouldn't be offering them much of a carrot.

  Bob Schneider

  Running, Technology, Offering

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• Ten years from now I plan to be sitting here, looking out over my land. I hope I'll be writing books, but if not, I'll be on my pond fishing with my kids. I feel like the luckiest guy I know.

  John Grisham

  Book, Writing, Years

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• The center of my life is my kids, I woke up at 3 in the morning with four kids with jet lag and two babies. I put myself together for a few hours and go out. And then I go home. This is my job.

  Angelina Jolie

  Baby, Morning, Jobs

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• Most nights, someone ends up in our bed. The kids do knock before entering. We've at least got that part down because mommy and daddy need some space.

  Angelina Jolie

  Motherhood, Night, Space

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• I don't think there's any harm at all in allowing a kid to fantasize. In fact, I think to stop people from fantasizing is a very destructive thing indeed.

  J. K. Rowling

  Wise, Witty, Thinking

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• True courage is cool and calm. The bravest of men have the least of a brutal, bullying insolence, and in the very time of danger are found the most serene and free.

  Anthony Ashley-Cooper, 7th Earl of Shaftesbury

  Bullying, Time, Men

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• Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.

  Ray Romano

  Funny, Baby, Children

  Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”, Bantam

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• Having and raising children is doing something with your life! ... And I have to say that having your kids is one of the greatest things you can do.

  Patricia Heaton

  Children, Abortion, Can Do

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• I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.

  Chris Rock

  Daughter, Mother, Writing

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I did research when I was pregnant with my first daughter and was horrified by the chemicals in products, even those meant for babies. I would have to go to 50 different places just to get my house and my kid clean.

  Jessica Alba

  Daughter, Mother, Baby

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• I'm at the age when my friends have started having kids, and when my first good friend had a baby, the first time I picked up her daughter I spoke in French. I didn't even think about it. It just came out. Maybe it's because it's my mother tongue?

  Jessica Pare

  Mother, Daughter, Baby

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• I'm in the middle of my own 'Project Runway' challenge given to me by my daughter's preschool. All the parents have to make an outfit for their kids, for school pictures, made entirely out of recycled objects. I can not believe I have homework.

  Busy Philipps

  Mother, Daughter, Believe

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• My kids and I sometimes will just sit in my office and talk about what the world was like 68 million years ago. Amanda, our oldest daughter, wanted to be a paleontologist for a long time.

  Phil Mickelson

  Daughter, Mother, Years

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• On her daughter, Jessica: Kids at her school will sidle up to me and say, Does Jessica know what happens in book 4? Does Jessica know the title of book 4? And I keep saying, No! There is no point kidnapping her, taking her around back of the bike shed, and torturing her for information.

  J. K. Rowling

  Daughter, Mother, Book

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