Kids Quotes - Page 10

• Give an average baby a fair chance, and if it doesn't do something it oughtn't to a doctor should be called in at once.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Funny, Baby, Children

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.92, Jerome K. Jerome

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• The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.

  Paul Reiser

  Funny, Baby, Children

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• We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Baby, Children

  Phyllis Diller (2006). “Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse: My Life in Comedy”, p.68, Penguin

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• I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.

  Ray Romano

  Funny, Baby, Children

  Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”

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• Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.

  Ray Romano

  Funny, Baby, Children

  Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”, Bantam

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• One minute you're up half a million in soybeans and the next, boom, your kids don't go to college and they've repossessed your Bentley.

  Dan Aykroyd

  Money, College, Half

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• I don't ask for much. I don't ask to be rich, and I don't ask to be famous, and I don't ask to play center field for the New York Yankees. I just want to get married and have a wife, and a house, and I want to have a kid, and I want to go see him be a tooth in the school play!

  Tom Hanks

  Money, New York, School

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• How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Earth, Aliens

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• It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!

  Milton Berle

  Education, Team, Teaching

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• You know lots of criticism is written by characters who are very academic and think it is a sign you are worthless if you make jokes or kid or even clown. I wouldn't kid Our Lord if he was on the cross. But I would attempt a joke with him if I ran into him chasing the money changers out of the temple.

  Ernest Hemingway

  Character, Thinking, Criticism

  Ernest Hemingway (2008). “The Good Life According to Hemingway”, Ecco

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• I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.

  Roseanne Barr

  Jobs, Parenting, The End Of The Day

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• It would take a lot of time and effort (to repair the computers). And they can't run (programs and games) kids are interested in today. They're not even on the Internet. We wouldn't be offering them much of a carrot.

  Bob Schneider

  Running, Technology, Offering

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• Ten years from now I plan to be sitting here, looking out over my land. I hope I'll be writing books, but if not, I'll be on my pond fishing with my kids. I feel like the luckiest guy I know.

  John Grisham

  Book, Writing, Years

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• We know smoking tobacco is not good for kids, but a lot of other things aren't good. Drinking's not good. Some would say milk's not good.

  Bob Dole

  Drinking, Smoking, Milk

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• The great thing about having a bunch of kids is that they just remind you that you're the person who takes them to go poop. That's who you are!

  Angelina Jolie

  Motherhood, Poop, Bunch

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• True courage is cool and calm. The bravest of men have the least of a brutal, bullying insolence, and in the very time of danger are found the most serene and free.

  Anthony Ashley-Cooper, 7th Earl of Shaftesbury

  Bullying, Time, Men

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• I don't care what people think or say about me, I know who I am.

  Jonathan Davis

  Bullying, Thinking, Not Caring

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• You'll often find that it's not mom or dad, husband or wife, or the kids that's stopping you. It's you. Get out of your own way.

  Robert Kiyosaki

  Mom, Dad, Husband

  Twitter post from Apr 01, 2014

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• I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have a 20-year-old kid. Anyway, those are things that people shouldn't be dishonest about it.

  Chelsea Handler

  Should Have, Years, People

  "Comedy With a Side of Disgust" by Cathy Horyn, www.nytimes.com. May 20, 2011.

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• Family is always first. Even though my kids are older - my son is 25 and my daughter is 21 - I still like to sit down and have dinner with them as much as I can.

  Jaclyn Smith

  Daughter, Mother, Son

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• I'm still a kid inside, and adventure is adventure wherever you find it.

  Jim Dale

  Travel, Adventure, Stills

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.

  Chris Rock

  Daughter, Mother, Writing

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I coach my daughter's softball and basketball team. We go to all the school functions. We go out to eat at night and take the kids to the movies. We try to be as normal as we can.

  Tim McGraw

  Inspirational, Basketball, Softball

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• I think it's important for kids to express themselves with bad fashion. I struggle a little bit now because I have a daughter and I feel with fashion, like they're sexualizing the kids so young. Little kids in high heels and that kind of thing is really difficult for me to wrap my head around.

  Busy Philipps

  Mother, Daughter, Fashion

  "Busy Philipps On Bikinis & James Franco". Interview with Jillian Ennis, www.elle.com. April 18, 2011.

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• I'm at the age when my friends have started having kids, and when my first good friend had a baby, the first time I picked up her daughter I spoke in French. I didn't even think about it. It just came out. Maybe it's because it's my mother tongue?

  Jessica Pare

  Mother, Daughter, Baby

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