Ovens Quotes - Page 6

• Remember, it's very simple to have an oven tested professionally, and it only takes about five minutes.

  Delia Smith

  Simple, Remember, Minutes

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• During World War II, the Nazis put their victims into gas chambers and then incinerated them in ovens. While the Nazis took their victims to the incinerators, those who possess and threaten to use nuclear weapons plan to take these weapons - these portable incinerators - to the victims.

  David Krieger

  War, Nuclear, Use

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• I was a pizza-delivery boy at the Pizza Oven in Canton. I wanted to get fired so bad, I actually wrecked the delivery car, but they wouldn't fire me. I was the only person they had working there.

  Marilyn Manson

  Boys, Fire, Car

  "Manson keeps 'music evil'". Interview with John Soeder, www.chron.com. August 16, 2007.

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• I'm a really good dinner party guest. I am always so appreciative, impressed that anyone has even managed to turn on the oven and cook for me.

  Lucy Punch

  Party, Guests, Dinner

  "Q & A With Lucy Punch: Woody Allen's New Film, Eating Geographically and Why Offal Is Off-Limits". Interview with Margy Rochlin, www.laweekly.com. September 20, 2010.

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• I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens.

  Rip Taylor

  Suicide, Watches, Today

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• He that will have a cake out of the wheat must tarry the grinding. Have I not tarried? Ay, the grinding; but you must tarry the bolting. Have I not tarried? Ay, the bolting; but you must tarry the leavening. Still have I tarried. Ay, to the leavening; but here's yet in the word 'hereafter' the kneading, the making of the cake, the heating of the oven, and the baking; nay, you must stay the cooling too, or you may chance to burn your lips.

  William Shakespeare

  Cake, Baking, Lips

  William Shakespeare (1819). “The Plays of Shakspeare”, p.206

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• President Obama unveiled a $4 trillion budget for 2016 that would increase taxes on the wealthy and spend more money on education. He also made a snowball and put it in the oven, just to see which would last longer, his budget or the snowball.

  Jimmy Fallon

  President, Lasts, Increase

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• 'I'm sorry,' guys are always telling women, 'but I'm just not ready to make a commitment.' Guys are in a permanent state of nonreadiness. If guys were turkey breasts, you could put them in a 350-degree oven on July Fourth, and they still wouldn't be done in time for Thanksgiving.

  Dave Barry

  Sorry, Commitment, July

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys”, p.87, Ballantine Books

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• Every November, during the certain holiday people love so much, people take a dead turkey, open up the dead turkey’s ass, or carve out a really big hole in their ass, take some stuffing and shove it inside their dead empty ass, and use the little dead ass as an oven to bake some bread. Somebody else’s dead empty bacteria-laden ass to make bread? Ass bread?! And people think vegans are weird? Because we eat tofu? And rice, and beans, and lentils?

  Gary Yourofsky

  Holiday, Thinking, Turkeys

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• Classic Recipe for Roast Beef: 1 large Roast of beef 1 small Roast of beef Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done.

  Gracie Allen

  Food, Two, Cooking

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• On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.

  George Carlin

  Food, Turkeys, Cooking

  George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

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• God made men by baking them in an oven, but he forgot about the first batch, and that's how Black people were born. And then he was so anxious about the next batch, he took them out of the oven too soon, so that's how White people were made. But the third batch he let cook until they were golden-golden-golden, and, honey, that's you and me.

  Sandra Cisneros

  Men, White, People

  Sandra Cisneros (1991). “Woman Hollering Creek, and Other Stories”, Random House Incorporated

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• We've got a wood-burning pizza oven in the garden - a luxury, I know, but it's one of the best investments I've ever made.

  Gwyneth Paltrow

  Funny, Garden, Luxury

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• Eating something fresh out of the oven is like a hug you can taste.

  Regina Brett

  Hug, Taste, Eating

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• But I will place this carefully fed pig Within the crackling oven; and, I pray, What nicer dish can e'er be given to man.

  Aeschylus

  Men, Pigs, Praying

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• Even the classics that we read to our young children are full of wolves' fangs and burning ovens and bloody feet and ice shards piercing hearts. Even the New Testament climaxes with an act of unspeakable torture. Might as well just read to our kids from the Amnesty Annual Report and be done with it.

  Geraldine Brooks

  Children, Heart, Kids

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• The most important thing for having a party is that the hostess is having fun. I'm very organized. I make a plan for absolutely everything. I never have anything that has to be cooked while the guests are there. The only thing I might have to do is take something out of the oven and carve it.

  Ina Garten

  Fun, Party, Important

  Interview with Lauren Salkeld, www.epicurious.com.

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• We light the oven so that everyone may bake bread in it.

  Jose Marti

  Light, May, Bread

  "Martí : Thoughts/Pensamientos" edited by Carlos Ripoll, 1994.

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• I don't exactly know what it means to be ready. A cake when the oven timer goes off? Am I fully baked, or only half-baked?

  Jessica Savitch

  Mean, Cake, Half

  Jessica Savitch (1983). “Anchorwoman”, Berkley

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• With optimism, you look upon the sunny side of things. People say, 'Studs, you're an optimist.' I never said I was an optimist. I have hope because what's the alternative to hope? Despair? If you have despair, you might as well put your head in the oven.

  Studs Terkel

  People, Optimism, Despair

  Religion & Ethics Newsweekly Interview, www.pbs.org. December 19, 2003.

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• The original lists were probably carved in stone and represented longer periods of time. They contained things like 'Get More Clay. Make Better Oven.'

  David Viscott

  Clay, Stones, Lists

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• My mother began to go crazy. Not in a 'Let's paint the kitchen red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwhich, I am God' sort of way.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Mother, Crazy, Kitchen

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• The disgraced Usurer Yankel D took the baby girl home that evening... He made a bed of crumpled newspaper in a deep baking pan and gently tucked it in the oven, so that she wouldn't be disturbed by the noise of the small falls outside... When he pulled her out to feed her or just hold her, her body was tattooed with the newsprint... Sometimes he would rock her to sleep in his arms, and read her left to right, and know everything he needed to know about the world. If it wasn't written on her, it wasn't important to him.

  Jonathan Safran Foer

  Girl, Baby, Fall

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• Millions of American women, and some men, commit that outrage every summer day. They are turning a superb treat into mere provender. Shucked and boiled in water, sweet corn is edible and nutritious; roasted in the husk in the hottest possible oven for forty minutes, shucked at the table, and buttered and salted, nothing else, it is ambrosia. No chef’s ingenuity and imagination have ever created a finer dish. American women should themselves be boiled in water.

  Rex Stout

  Summer, Sweet, Men

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• I didn't know about the rest of the class, but when Bastille Day eventually rolled around, I planned to stay home and clean my oven.

  David Sedaris

  Home, Class, Clean

  David Sedaris (2009). “Holidays on Ice”, p.89, Hachette UK

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