Ovens Quotes - Page 5

• Just because a cat has kittens in the oven, that doesn't make them biscuits.

  Malcolm X

  Cat, Biscuits, Kitten

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• Most Americans living below the official poverty line own a car or truck - and government entitlement programs seldom provide cars and trucks. Most people living below the official poverty line also have air conditioning, color television, and a microwave oven - and these too are not usually handed out by government entitlement programs.
  
  Cell phones and other electronic devices are by no means unheard of in low-income neighborhoods, where children would supposedly go hungry if there were no school-lunch programs. In reality, low-income people are overweight more often than other Americans.

  Thomas Sowell

  Children, School, Mean

  "Dependency and Votes" by Thomas Sowell, www.nationalreview.com. May 24, 2011.

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• I am no theologian. I would not be surprised, however, if Heaven proved to be a cozy kitchen, where delicious treats appeared in the oven and in the refrigerator whenever you wanted them, and where the cupboards were full of good books.

  Dean Koontz

  Book, Heaven, Kitchen

  Dean Koontz (2016). “The Complete Odd Thomas 8-Book Bundle: Odd Thomas, Forever Odd, Brother Odd, Odd Hours, Odd Apocalypse, Odd Interlude, Deeply Odd, Saint Odd”, p.891, Bantam

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• 'I'm sorry,' guys are always telling women, 'but I'm just not ready to make a commitment.' Guys are in a permanent state of nonreadiness. If guys were turkey breasts, you could put them in a 350-degree oven on July Fourth, and they still wouldn't be done in time for Thanksgiving.

  Dave Barry

  Sorry, Commitment, July

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys”, p.87, Ballantine Books

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• Every November, during the certain holiday people love so much, people take a dead turkey, open up the dead turkey’s ass, or carve out a really big hole in their ass, take some stuffing and shove it inside their dead empty ass, and use the little dead ass as an oven to bake some bread. Somebody else’s dead empty bacteria-laden ass to make bread? Ass bread?! And people think vegans are weird? Because we eat tofu? And rice, and beans, and lentils?

  Gary Yourofsky

  Holiday, Thinking, Turkeys

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• Russian vodka is OK if you need to clean the oven. For drinking, it must henceforth be Polish.

  Hugh Laurie

  Drinking, Needs, Vodka

  Twitter post from Jan 18, 2014

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• My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

  Tracy Morgan

  Reality, Turkeys, Sense Of Humor

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• My favorite comfort food would have be braised beef. You know, beef, slow-cooked in a Dutch oven or in a slow cooker until it falls apart with simple mushrooms, some onions and lots of fresh thyme and garlic.

  Tyler Florence

  Fall, Simple, Mushrooms

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• God made men by baking them in an oven, but he forgot about the first batch, and that's how Black people were born. And then he was so anxious about the next batch, he took them out of the oven too soon, so that's how White people were made. But the third batch he let cook until they were golden-golden-golden, and, honey, that's you and me.

  Sandra Cisneros

  Men, White, People

  Sandra Cisneros (1991). “Woman Hollering Creek, and Other Stories”, Random House Incorporated

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• Classic Recipe for Roast Beef: 1 large Roast of beef 1 small Roast of beef Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done.

  Gracie Allen

  Food, Two, Cooking

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• There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.

  Phyllis Diller

  Inspirational, Cupcakes, Rooms

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• Ask a footballer what they can cook and they always say spaghetti. It is what you reach for when there is nothing else left in the larder. It's poor people's food and it's unsophisticated. It's the same as bread - you just boil it instead of putting it in the oven.

  Giles Coren

  People, Bread, Poor

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• Owning a computer without programming is like having a kitchen and using only the microwave oven

  Charles Petzold

  Kitchen, Computer, Programming

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• I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.

  Amy Sedaris

  Holiday, Turkeys, Fake

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• Would we hold liberty, we must have charity- charity to others, charity to ourselves, crawling up from the moist ovens of a steaming world, still carrying the passional equipment of our ferocious ancestors, emerging from black superstition amid carnage and atrocity to our perilous present.

  Learned Hand

  Black, Liberty, Atrocities

  Learned Hand (1959). “The Spirit of Liberty: Papers and Addresses”

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• They tell us we are all citizens, that we were born in this country. Well, a cat can have kittens in the oven, but that doesn't make them biscuits!

  Malcolm X

  Country, Cat, Racism

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• The microwave oven is one of the modern objects that convey the most elemental feeling of power over the passing seconds ... If you suffer from hurry sickness in its most advanced stages, you may find yourself punching 88 seconds instead of 90 because it is faster to tap the same digit twice.

  James Gleick

  Feelings, Finding Yourself, Suffering

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• If you really love stuffing, wait until the turkey comes out of the oven, add some of the pan drippings to the stuffing, and bake it in a dish. That's called dressing, and that's not evil - stuffing is, though.

  Alton Brown

  Turkeys, Evil, Waiting

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• When you cut that eggplant up and you roast it in the oven and you make the tomato sauce and you put it on top, your soul is in that food, and there's something about that that can never be made by a company that has three million employees.

  Mario Batali

  Cutting, Eggplant, Soul

  "Making a Meal with Mario Batali". Interview with Debbie Elliott, www.npr.org. October 15, 2005.

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• I miss my mother very much, and I feel closest to her when I have dinner in the oven and the children are nearby playing and I'm reading a book or doing some little project.

  Caitlin Flanagan

  Mother, Children, Book

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• I get really cool gifts, and I know this sounds really lame, but I think one of the best gifts I've ever received was the Easy Bake Oven when I was younger. When I was little, I loved to bake! I want to get one now so I can make weird mini desserts for people.

  Ashley Benson

  Thinking, People, Want

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• The first thing I do when I come home is check the refrigerator for cats because I'm convinced that if one dies, my husband will hide it in there because I don't cook and so I won't see it. I do drink Cokes, though ,so technically he should hide the corpse in the oven. And now I need to start checking the oven.

  Jenny Lawson

  Husband, Cat, Home

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• Remember, it's very simple to have an oven tested professionally, and it only takes about five minutes.

  Delia Smith

  Simple, Remember, Minutes

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• During World War II, the Nazis put their victims into gas chambers and then incinerated them in ovens. While the Nazis took their victims to the incinerators, those who possess and threaten to use nuclear weapons plan to take these weapons - these portable incinerators - to the victims.

  David Krieger

  War, Nuclear, Use

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• I was a pizza-delivery boy at the Pizza Oven in Canton. I wanted to get fired so bad, I actually wrecked the delivery car, but they wouldn't fire me. I was the only person they had working there.

  Marilyn Manson

  Boys, Fire, Car

  "Manson keeps 'music evil'". Interview with John Soeder, www.chron.com. August 16, 2007.

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