Ovens Quotes

• If I survive, I will spend my whole life at the oven door seeing that no one is denied bread and, so as to give a lesson of charity, especially those who did not bring flour.

  Jose Marti

  Life Lesson, Bread Of Life, Doors

  "Martí : Thoughts/Pensamientos" edited by Carlos Ripoll, 1994.

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• I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it.

  Lesley Boone

  Suicide, Suicidal, Cake

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• A cake is a very good test of an oven: if it browns too much on one side and not on the other, it's not your fault - you need to have your oven checked.

  Delia Smith

  Cake, Tea, Needs

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• 

  I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Food, Coffee

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• Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.

  Erma Bombeck

  Religious, Toasters, Next

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• Ooo, let’s see, I need to get my spicy barbecue sauce. Definitely some oven mitts, ‘cause he’s gonna be hot from being flame-broiled. I need to get a couple of them apple trees to make wood chips so the meat be nice and appley tasting. Give it that extra yumminess, ‘cause I don’t like that Daimon flavor. Ack! (Simi)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Couple, Nice, Flames

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2010). “Dance With the Devil”, p.8, Macmillan

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• Animals are nicer than humans and they're conscious beings. If you stick your grandmother in an oven, she will probably be tasty. But is that any reason to eat your grandmother?

  Steven Morrissey

  Grandmother, Animal, Vegetarianism

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• A cherry pie is . . . ephemeral. From the moment it emerges from the oven it begins a steep decline: from too hot to edible to cold to stale to mouldy, and finally to a post-pie state where only history can tell you that it was once considered food. The pie is a parable of human life.

  Nick Harkaway

  Pie, Hot, Ephemeral

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• Should I warm the oven and bake you a batch of hero cookies? - Zephyra

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Hero, Cookies, Should

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2011). “One Silent Night”, p.37, Hachette UK

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• Despite the fact that an Indonesian island chicken has probably had a much more natural life than one raised on a battery farm in England, people who wouldn't think twice about buying something oven-ready become much more upset about a chicken that they've been on a boat with, so there is probably buried in the Western psyche a deep taboo about eating anything you've been introduced to socially.

  Douglas Adams

  Thinking, Islands, People

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• The mishandling of food and equipment with panache was always admired; to some extent, this remains true to this day. Butchers still slap down prime cuts with just a little more force and noise than necessary. Line cooks can't help putting a little English on outgoing plates, spinning them into the pass-through with reverse motion so they curl back just short of the edge. Oven doors in most kitchens have to be constantly tightened because of repeatedly being kicked closed by clog-shod feet. And all of us dearly love to play with knives.

  Anthony Bourdain

  Cutting, Doors, Knives

  Anthony Bourdain (2011). “Tony Bourdain boxset: Kitchen Confidential & Medium Raw”, p.26, A&C Black

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• Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.

  Craig Ferguson

  Funny, Humor, Night

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• Got to be the worst place in the world, inside a oven. You in here, you either cleaning or you getting cooked.

  Kathryn Stockett

  World, Cleaning, Worst

  Kathryn Stockett (2009). “The Help”, p.20, Penguin

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• Liz looks at the tissue box, which is decorated with drawings of snowmen engaged in various holiday activities. One of the snowmen is happily placing a smiling rack of gingerbread men in an oven. Baking gingerbread men, or any cooking for that matter, is probably close to suicide for a snowman, Liz thinks. Why would a snowman voluntarily engage in an activity that would in all likelihood melt him? Can snowmen even eat? Liz glares at the box.

  Gabrielle Zevin

  Suicide, Holiday, Men

  Gabrielle Zevin (2016). “Elsewhere”, p.50, Bloomsbury Publishing

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• I want you to know that I fought you fairly. Equal to equal. I could have used my powers against you, but I didn’t. (Stryker) Should I warm to oven and bake you a batch of hero-cookies? (Zephyra)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Hero, Cookies, Want

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• Like in Africa, if somebody doesn't have fuel, they're still going and collecting firewood. If they get an oven, that's a huge difference. You can do things to reduce the inequities by making sure that they can get clean energy, safe energy. To make sure they're not having to collect water every day. That's huge for women in the developing world.

  Melinda Gates

  Differences, Water, Energy

  Interview with Jessica Grose, www.lennyletter.com. April 1, 2016.

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• Sometimes we adopt certain beliefs when we're children and use them automatically when we become adults, without ever checking them out against reality. This brings to mind the story of the woman who always cut off the end of the turkey when she put it in the oven. Her daughter asked her why, and her mother responded, "I don't know. My mother always did it." Then she went and asked her mother, who said, "I don't know. My mother always did it." The she went and asked her grandmother, who said, "The oven wasn't big enough."

  Charlotte Sophia Kasl

  Mother, Daughter, Children

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• Toast is bread made delicious and useful. Un-toasted bread is okay for children's sandwiches and sopping up barbecue sauce, but for pretty much all other uses, toast is better than bread. An exception is when the bread is fresh from the oven, piping hot, with butter melting all over it. Then it's fantastic, but I would argue that bread fresh out of the oven is a kind of toast. Because I'm an asshole and I refuse to be wrong about something.

  Steve Albini

  Children, Hot, Sandwiches

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• I'd take a helicopter up and throw microwave ovens down on the Taco Bell.

  Douglas Coupland

  Taco Bell, Bells, Tacos

  Douglas Coupland (2015). “Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture”, p.87, Hachette UK

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• How terrible to be alcoholic. You just want to quietly soothe and maybe poison yourself, but you end up poisoning those around you as well, like trying to commit suicide with a gas oven and unwittingly murdering your neighbors.

  Jonathan Ames

  Suicide, Trying, Poison

  Jonathan Ames (2015). “Wake Up, Sir!”, p.36, Pushkin Press

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• Germans grew reluctant to stay in communal ski lodges, fearing they might talk in their sleep. They postponed surgeries because of the lip-loosening effects of anesthetic. Dreams reflected the ambient anxiety. One German dreamed that an SA man came to his home and opened the door to his oven, which then repeated every negative remark the household had made against the government.

  Erik Larson

  Dream, Fear, Sleep

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• All elongated objects, such as sticks, tree-trunks and umbrellas(the opening of these last being comparable to an erection) may stand for the male organ...Boxes, cases, chests, cupboards, and ovens represent the uterus...Rooms in dreams are usually women...Many landscapes in dreams, especially any containing breidges or wooded hills, may clearly be recognized as descriptions of the genitals.

  Sigmund Freud

  Dream, Tree, Uterus

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• I like baked potatoes. I don't have a microwave oven, and it takes forever to bake a potato in a conventional oven. Sometimes I'll just throw one in there, even if I don't want one, because by the time it's done, who knows?

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Forever

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• What is the difference between burning and gassing people in ovens and doing it to a whole nation out in the open?

  Norodom Sihanouk

  Differences, People, Burning

  My War with the CIA: Cambodia's Fight for Survival ch. 18 (1973)

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• I am a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking mostly Thai food. And a lot of times on movies, you have these trailers that have these little ovens and kitchenettes. A lot of actors never use them, but I would cook lunch just about every day.

  Will Ferrell

  Lunch, Cooking, Gourmet

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