Retirement Humor Quotes - Page 2

• Preparation for old age should begin not later than one's teens. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement.

  Dwight L. Moody

  Death, Senior, Retirement

  25 Copy quote

• Few men of action have been able to make a graceful exit at the appropriate time.

  Malcolm Muggeridge

  Retirement, Age, Able

  Malcolm Muggeridge (1966). “Tread softly, for you tread on my jokes”

  34 Copy quote

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• Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Life, Wisdom

  Letter in New York Times 29 Apr. 1930

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• If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

  Doug Larson

  Funny, Witty, Retirement

  41 Copy quote

• You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

  Joan Rivers

  Retirement, Fun, Aging

  8 Copy quote

• There's an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.

  Peter Drucker

  Retirement, Jobs, Business

  9 Copy quote

• In retirement, only money and symptoms are consequential.

  Mason Cooley

  Teacher, Retirement, Teaching

  7 Copy quote

• At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.

  Ann Landers

  Funny, Uplifting, Retirement

  129 Copy quote
• 

  The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

  Lucille Ball

  Happy Birthday, Beauty, Funny Birthday

  162 Copy quote

• I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

  Charles Lamb

  Funny, Hilarious, Witty

  67 Copy quote

• In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire.

  Charles Francis Adams, Sr.

  Country, Retirement, Long

  Diary entry, April 15, 1836.

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• When I retire I'm going to spend my evenings by the fireplace going through those boxes. There are things in there that ought to be burned.

  Richard M. Nixon

  Retirement, Evening, Boxes

  95 Copy quote

• Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too.

  Charles Baxter

  Teacher, Retirement, Work

  9 Copy quote

• When one door closes, another one opens.

  Alexander Graham Bell

  Tattoo, Retirement, Doors

  52 Copy quote

• Forever, and forever, farewell, Cassius! If we do meet again, why, we shall smile; If not, why then this parting was well made.

  William Shakespeare

  Retirement, Farewell, Forever

  'Julius Caesar' (1599) act 5, sc. 1, l. 118

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• God has a plan for your retirement.

  Billy Graham

  Retirement, God Has A Plan, Plans

  24 Copy quote

• I think retirement beats the heck out of life after death, that's for sure.

  Martina Navratilova

  Teacher, Retirement, Teaching

  6 Copy quote