Retirement Humor Quotes - Page 2

• The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

  Abe Lemons

  Retirement, Days Off, Trouble

  31 Copy quote

• When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference.

  Virginia Graham

  Teacher, Retirement, Teaching

  7 Copy quote

• Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.

  Jonathan Clements

  Running, Retirement, Vacation

  17 Copy quote

• Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

  George Burns

  Funny, Teacher, Witty

  74 Copy quote

• In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It's either that or buy a new golf ball.

  Gene Perret

  Teacher, Retirement, Golf

  8 Copy quote
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  You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

  George Burns

  Funny, Hilarious, Retirement

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  159 Copy quote

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• Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

  Gene Perret

  Teacher, Retirement, Nice

  14 Copy quote

• I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income.

  Gene Perret

  Teacher, Retirement, Income

  9 Copy quote

• The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.

  Vince Lombardi

  Inspirational, Motivational, Basketball

  Vince Lombardi (2012). “What it Takes to be Number One”, p.70, Thomas Nelson Inc

  88 Copy quote

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• Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

  Laurence J. Peter

  Retirement, Fun, Age

  10 Copy quote

• Retired is being tired twice, I've thought, first tired of working, then tired of not.

  Richard Armour

  Teacher, Retirement, Tired

  Richard Armour (1976). “Going Like Sixty: A Lighthearted Look at the Later Years”

  13 Copy quote

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• There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!

  Groucho Marx

  Retirement, Work, Age

  "Fictional character: Captain Jeffrey Spaulding". "Animal Crackers", August 20, 1930.

  9 Copy quote

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• When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.

  Chi Chi Rodriguez

  Retirement, Husband, Wife

  20 Copy quote

• A man can't retire his experience.

  Bernard Baruch

  Retirement, Experience, Ciphers

  15 Copy quote

• Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

  George Burns

  Retirement, Business, Aging

  George Burns (1986). “Dr. Burns' Prescription for happiness”, G K Hall & Co

  7 Copy quote

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• When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.

  R. C. Sherriff

  Retirement, Work, Age

  46 Copy quote

• As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning.

  Earl Nightingale

  Inspirational, Retirement, Successful

  14 Copy quote