Spike Milligan Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Life, Happiness

• Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Life, Friendship

• A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Nature, Laughter

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, People, Born

  Spike Milligan (2014). “Puckoon”, p.48, Penguin UK

• One day the "Don't Knows" will get in and then where will we be?

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Humor, One Day

• My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Fathers Day, Dad

• Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Doctors, Office

• How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

• Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Dog, Children

  "Indefinite Articles: Culled from His Newspaper Writings & Scunthorpe".

• Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Crazy, Silly

  The Last Goon Show of All

• I can speak Esperanto like a native.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

• Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Humor, Lost

  "The Last Goon Show of All", October 5, 1972.

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