Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.
Schizophrenia beats dining alone.
When I was young I looked like Al Capone, but I lacked his compassion.
The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.
Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.
There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me
I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.
Now that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her.
You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. (Oscar trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket)
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.
It'd be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.
Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.
So little time and so little to do.
I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.
I never watch the Dinah Shore show- I'm a diabetic.
Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.
Self-pity - it's the only pity that counts.
My last picture for Warners was Romance on the High Seas. It was Doris Day's first picture; that was before she became a virgin.
I don't like to play the piano. It makes me too attractive.
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