I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.
Sometimes I think my husband is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make him happy, then I'm everything I want to be.
I couldn't stand that my husband was being unfaithful. I am Raquel Welch - understand?
I promise to be a splendid husband, but give me a wife who, like the moon, won't in my sky every day...
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
To catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job.
When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
I used to tell my husband that, if he could make me 'understand' something, it would be clear to all the other people in the country.
When a wife has a good husband, it is easily seen on her face.
The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
I revere the memory of Mr. F. as an estimable man and most indulgent husband, only necessary to mention Asparagus and it appeared or to hint at any little delicate thing to drink and it came like magic in a pint bottle; it was not ecstasy but it was comfort.
Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended.
The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
I do not want a husband who honours me as a queen, if he does not love me as a woman.
Whenever I fail as a father or husband... a toy and a diamond always works.
An early-rising man is a good spouse but a bad husband.
I think God made a woman to be strong and not to be trampled under the feet of men. I've always felt this way because my mother was a very strong woman, without a husband.
An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
The first lady is, and always has been, an unpaid public servant elected by one person, her husband.
One good husband is worth two good wives, for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.
I have been alone since my husband died. I stay in my home. I don't date. It's hard to date when you're at home. Nobody knows you.
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