I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody.
I'm not against ratings per se. I think more information is always good. But I certainly don't think the government has to step in and set guidelines for how shows should be rated.
The hardest diet I was ever on was the one when I was fat. You can only wear fat clothes, you don't feel good, your sex life gets damaged, you don't have energy for anything. It's horrible.
My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.
Green Screen was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.
I always run in the morning on an empty stomach, and I'll go through a bottle and a half of water. Then I have a protein drink or I eat egg whites.
I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it.
We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.
When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.
When I thought I was retired, I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games.
But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do.
Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.
For 'Power of 10,' you can look at the methodology at CBS.com, it's a company called Rasmussen Reports. We poll thousands and thousands of people for each question, a real cross section of the United States.
I don't know, people take chances on stage. It's a big free speech zone, a comedy show. So sometimes things happen, you say things that are a little bit off the edge.
TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. To me, that's more pure.
That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment.
The less [government] the better.
I never thought I was a libertarian until I picked up Reason magazine and realized I agree with everything they had printed.
People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.
What right does a politician have to tell me what I can and cannot watch? Change the channel if you don't like what's on TV!
Sometimes I like [being famous], sometimes I don't. I've always been a people watcher. I like to go to malls and just sit, and I can't do that very easily anymore.
The laughs are honestly bigger, ... They are the kind of unexpected belly laughs you get with your friends during conversation.
I had no problem going into retirement mode, ... I do what other retired guys do. I putter around the house and travel.
One day I was running around playing with my son Connor when afterwards I was sweating, tired and out of breath. I was embarrassed that something as enjoyable as playing with my son was so tough for me to do. Immediately I started an extensive diet and exercise plan. It completely changed my life and helped cure my Type-2 diabetes.
The TV season is a year-long thing now, and the networks are starting to look at it that way, thanks to cable, satellites, and competition.
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