Anthony Jeselnik Quotes - Page 6

Quotes about:

• Everyone has the same kind of fears; everyone has the same big problems in the world, which is, like, fear of death and I hope horrible things dont happen to my family, but they do. And I think people laugh at them as this great release.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Thinking, People, Laughing

  10 Copy quote

• I think some people just don't know that much about comedy. It would be like a person who didn't know anything about football thinking all offensive linemen are the same.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Football, Thinking, People

  13 Copy quote

• I don't get back as much as I'd like to, so I don't have a lot of close ties [Pittsburgh], but I'll bleed black and gold until I die.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Ties, Black, Gold

  "Comedian Anthony Jeselnik: “He’s The Best!” -Everybody". Interview With David Dean, www.serialoptimist.com. November 29, 2010.

  10 Copy quote

• Of all the ways people save time, I think racism is the worst.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Thinking, Racism, People

  Twitter post from Nov 13, 2009

  13 Copy quote

• Hitler really wasn't so bad. In the black way.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Black, Way

  Twitter post from Sep 18, 2010

  10 Copy quote

• It seemed fun to play a villain on stage and I wanted my jokes to be so good that I could just calmly tell them on stage.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Fun, Play, Villain

  13 Copy quote

• I like the idea of being the funny guy in the dramatic thing, playing a hit man with a weird sense of humor.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Men, Ideas, Guy

  Interview with Al Norton, 411mania.com. April 23, 2013.

  11 Copy quote

• Watching soccer just makes me wish I was watching Foosball.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Soccer, Wish

  Twitter post from Jun 11, 2010

  7 Copy quote

• Tom Cruise's pre-nup lets him keep his money, the kids and Katie Holmes.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Kids, Cruise, Holmes

  7 Copy quote

• My favorite sport is football. I'm a die hard Steelers fan. Favorite players were Hines Ward and Greg Lloyd.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Sports, Football, Player

  10 Copy quote

• Sure, my uncle killed himself playing Russian Roulette. But I choose to remember him as a great Russian Roulette player.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Uncles, Player, Roulette

  Twitter post from Jul 03, 2010

  12 Copy quote

• Wayne Brady, I don’t understand why people keep joking that you’re not black. Wayne Brady, you are BLACK. After all, I only remember you for all the years you played an uppity slave on ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway?’.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Remember You, Remembers You, Years

  9 Copy quote

• It's impossible for me to hear the words quadruple murder suicide without thinking of my grandparents.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Suicide, Thinking, Grandparent

  Twitter post from Nov 05, 2010

  11 Copy quote

• I don't think people shouldn't try to be edgy, but you have to take what the audience says to you in consideration.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Thinking, People, Trying

  10 Copy quote

• The world is full of horrible things.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  World, Horrible, Horrible Things

  10 Copy quote

• I'm too cynical to be an optimist.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Cynical, Optimist

  "Comedian Anthony Jeselnik: “He’s The Best!” -Everybody". Interview With David Dean, www.serialoptimist.com. November 29, 2010.

  9 Copy quote

• About a year after I moved to Los Angeles, I decided I wanted to be a joke writer for a late night talk show. So I met with a late night joke writer and he told me that I should start by doing stand-up comedy, because that would really hone my sense of humor and joke writing ability. Eventually I took a stand-up class and a few months later I had a seven-minute act.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Writing, Night, Years

  "Comedian Anthony Jeselnik: “He’s The Best!” -Everybody". Interview With David Dean, www.serialoptimist.com. November 29, 2010.

  5 Copy quote

• I feel like every first episode of a TV show is bad, you know, and it always improves.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Tv Shows, Firsts, Tvs

  10 Copy quote

• With comics, you always talk about a big break, but there are a lot of big breaks in your life and not one of them makes a big difference.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Differences, Break, Bigs

  "Anthony Jeselnik on Sharon Stone, thankless open mics, and his evil plan". Interview with Marah Eakin, www.avclub.com. October 16, 2015.

  10 Copy quote

• An offended audience member repeating a comedian's act from memory is worse than, literally, anything.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Memories, Comedian, Members

  Twitter post from Jul 11, 2012

  10 Copy quote

• Larry King is so old, he's actually one of the Jews that killed Christ.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Kings, Christ, Jew

  "Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump". www.imdb.com. 2011.

  10 Copy quote

• I grew up in a poor family. I had to cut everyone's hair, because we didn't have money for entertainment.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Cutting, Hair, Entertainment

  Twitter post from Oct 16, 2010

  6 Copy quote

• My favorite part of going to a wedding is ruining the wedding.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  My Favorite

  Twitter post from Nov 08, 2009

  8 Copy quote

• My perfect night would be going out to an awesome restaurant, then heading over to the Comedy Cellar to hang out with other comics, drinking beers and making fun of each other.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Fun, Drinking, Beer

  Source: www.serialoptimist.com

  7 Copy quote

• My neighbor complains every time my girlfriend and I have sex. We're not even that loud. But he used to date my girlfriend.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Girlfriend, Sex, Complaining

  Twitter post from Aug 20, 2010

  8 Copy quote

Page 6 of 8

First

← Prev

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

Next →

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin