Anthony Jeselnik Quotes - Page 8

Quotes about:

• Comedy Central made me delete the Boston Marathon joke. I wasn't happy about it but, despite popular belief, I can occasionally be a team player.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Team, Player, Boston

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. July 9, 2013.

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• My neighbor complains every time my girlfriend and I have sex. We're not even that loud. But he used to date my girlfriend.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Girlfriend, Sex, Complaining

  Twitter post from Aug 20, 2010

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• On the show, you have to be more charismatic, a little smoother, but I think I can still be that prince of darkness. You just have to learn the tricks of the TV trade as well.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Thinking, Darkness, Littles

  "Anthony Jeselnik on roasting, ripping off Jack Handey, and giving the devil his own TV show". Interview with Nathan Rabin, www.avclub.com. March 12, 2013.

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• I'll be very busy, which is all I need.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Needs, Busy

  "Comedian Anthony Jeselnik: “He’s The Best!” -Everybody". Interview With David Dean, www.serialoptimist.com. November 29, 2010.

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• I like to read, but otherwise I'm just your average, self-obsessed comedian. It's pretty much all I think about.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Thinking, Self, Average

  "Comedian Anthony Jeselnik: “He’s The Best!” -Everybody". Interview With David Dean, www.serialoptimist.com. November 29, 2010.

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• I come up with my jokes by thinking of a topic.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Thinking, Topics, Come Up

  "Comedian Anthony Jeselnik: “He’s The Best!” -Everybody". Interview With David Dean, www.serialoptimist.com. November 29, 2010.

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• I tell very mean jokes.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Mean, Jokes, Very Mean

  "Comedian Anthony Jeselnik: “He’s The Best!” -Everybody". Interview With David Dean, www.serialoptimist.com. November 29, 2010.

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• Valentine's Day was created by the greeting card industry to get pussy.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Valentine, Pussy, Cards

  Twitter post from Feb 14, 2012

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• I'm a comedian and there are a lot of things I'm still learning. I love one liners because I love smart jokes. I also don't like complaining about society or whining about my life on stage.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Smart, Comedian, Complaining

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. July 9, 2013.

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• I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Writing, Comedian, Stuff

  "Comedian Anthony Jeselnik Is Eager To Offend You". Interview with Jordan Zakarin, www.buzzfeed.com. July 9, 2013.

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• I love Pittsburgh. Most of my family still lives there and I try to get back a couple of times a year.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Couple, Years, Trying

  "Comedian Anthony Jeselnik: “He’s The Best!” -Everybody". Interview With David Dean, www.serialoptimist.com. November 29, 2010.

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• I got into comedy because I wanted to get into writing.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Writing, Comedy, Wanted

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. July 9, 2013.

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• I never knew if I would get my own show, but I knew I loved stand-up.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Shows, My Own, Ifs

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• In comedy, I hate that cop-out where you say, "Just kidding." I know you're just kidding. Don't insult my intelligence by spelling it out for me that much.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Hate, Comedy, Insult

  "Anthony Jeselnik on roasting, ripping off Jack Handey, and giving the devil his own TV show". Interview with Nathan Rabin, www.avclub.com. March 12, 2013.

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• I always loved comedy, but it never seemed like something that I could do professionally.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Comedy, Like Something

  Interview with David Dean, www.serialoptimist.com. July 11, 2013.

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• Ellen Barkin, your upcoming TV show ‘The New Normal’ premiers on September 11th. September 11th, that sounds about right. Every clip I’ve seen feels like I’m watching a third tower collapse.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Tv Shows, New Normal, September 11

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• I try to retire jokes as soon as I can once I put them on an album. But I can't think of anything I just stopped doing for no reason.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Thinking, Trying, Albums

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. July 9, 2013.

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• I'm fascinated by offensive subject matter. Always have been. It is very natural to me, as any teach I've ever had growing up could attest.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Growing Up, Matter, Offensive

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• Amy [Schumer] and I each have our cross to bear when it comes to tattoos. Amy and I are funny when we fight. It just keeps escalating until one of us starts laughing. Then it's over. I'm happy that we're friends.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Tattoo, Fighting, Laughing

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• That's the worst way you can hear about comedy material: from a third person's blog story that they wrote when they were upset.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Upset, Stories, Way

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• I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn't want to talk about, like death.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Death, People, Want

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• What do I care if someone doesn't like me. If I like someone other people hate, it makes me feel special. I think my fans feel that way.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Hate, Thinking, People

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• I enjoyed writing for someone elses voice, but I wasnt very good at it.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Writing, Voice, Very Good

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• God, that Anthony Jeselnik Show sounds really funny.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Sound, Shows

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