Bagels Quotes

• I've said this before, and I say it again. Bagels can be an enormous power for good or for evil. It is up to us to decide how we will use them.

  Daniel Pinkwater

  Evil, Use, Said

  Daniel Manus Pinkwater (1989). “Hobokenfish: And, Chicagowhistle”

  69 Copy quote

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• The bagel is a lonely roll to eat all by yourself because in order for the true taste to come out you need your family. One to cut the bagels, one to toast them, one to put on the cream cheese and the lox, one to put them on the table and one to supervise.

  Gertrude Berg

  Lonely, Cutting, Order

  75 Copy quote

• The first printed mention of bagels... is to be found in the Community Regulations of Kracow, Poland, for the year 1610 which stated that bagels would be given as a gift to any woman in childbirth.

  Leo Rosten

  Food, Years, Community

  74 Copy quote

• They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

  Shaquille O'Neal

  Basketball, Morning, Hot

  71 Copy quote

• Bagel in the morning is the ultimate breakfast for me; they're just good.

  Lee DeWyze

  Morning, Breakfast, Ultimate

  30 Copy quote

• The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!

  George Carlin

  Country, Philosophy, Party

  42 Copy quote

• According to a new poll, Republicans are more likely to have a doughnut for breakfast, while Democrats prefer to eat bagels and croissants. While Independents are that annoying friend who's still looking at the menu after 15 minutes.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Breakfast, Republican, Annoying

  30 Copy quote

• I served seven years as the chair of the Princeton economics department where I had responsibility for major policy decisions, such as whether to serve bagels or doughnuts at the department coffee hour.

  Ben Bernanke

  Coffee, Responsibility, Years

  37 Copy quote

• I'll eat the hell out of a bagel. That's what I do

  Jade Puget

  Hell

  32 Copy quote

• We do it early like Cheerios and a bagel

  Nicki Minaj

  Bragging

  Song: I Feel Free, Album: Gold

  24 Copy quote

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• You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

  Al Yankovic

  Faces, Pitchforks, Staples

  17 Copy quote

• I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

  Chelsea Handler

  Burgers, Skinny, Drink

  "Chelsea Handler on Hollywood" by Elisa Lipsky-Karasz, www.harpersbazaar.com. March 24, 2010.

  22 Copy quote

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• I tried being anorexic for four hours and then i was like, i need some bagels.

  Kat Dennings

  Food, Loss, Four

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  49 Copy quote

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• Romanians have a saying, 'Not every dog has a bagel on its tail.' It means that not all streets are paved with gold. When I began my career, I just wanted to do cartwheels.

  Nadia Comaneci

  Dog, Mean, Careers

  Nadia Comaneci (2009). “Letters to a Young Gymnast”, p.16, Basic Books

  34 Copy quote

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• My sister married a German. He complained he couldn't get a good
  bagel back home. I said: 'Well, whose fault is that?'

  Emo Philips

  Home, Faults, Married

  20 Copy quote

• In New York, I like it when you can get bagels at 3 in the morning.

  Shepard Smith

  Morning, New York

  11 Copy quote

• I just look at a bagel and my ass gets bigger!

  Jillian Michaels

  Looks, Ass, Bigger

  11 Copy quote

• I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls!

  Fanny Brice

  Onions, Plates

  15 Copy quote

• Once I was coming down a street in Beverly Hills and I saw a Cadillac about a block long, and out of the side window was a wonderfully slinky mink, and an arm, and at the end of the arm a hand in a white suede glove wrinkled around the wrist, and in the hand was a bagel with a bite out of it.

  Dorothy Parker

  Block, Hands, White

  Dorothy Parker (2004). “Dorothy Parker in Her Own Words”, Taylor Trade Publishing

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• I actually put peanut butter on my bagel. I really like peanut butter and I like to ruin the bagel. You know what's even crazier that I do sometimes? I do cinnamon raisin bagels with peanut butter. It is really, really out there.

  Evan Peters

  Peanut Butter, Cinnamon, Ruins

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  55 Copy quote

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• New York was the only city I knew in the world where you could be desperately lonely at nine in the morning, crossing the street for a bagel at Gristede's, and find that seven hours later you were drinking Irish coffee at P.J. Clarke's with all the friends you had inherited along the way.

  Shirley MacLaine

  Lonely, Morning, New York

  20 Copy quote

• I definitely invented the everything bagel. There's no doubt. It's undeniable truth. It's one of those things that's 100% true, 50% of the time.

  Joe Bastianich

  Doubt, No Doubt

  9 Copy quote

• Songs are pretty easy. They are small, they are modular, they are about as big as a bagel. They are easy to build. Films are overwhelming in their magnitude and scope. By comparison, a lot of film directors wish they were writing songs because you can do it while getting your hair cut.

  Tom Waits

  Song, Writing, Cutting

  Interview with Mark Richardson, pitchfork.com. October 18, 2011.

  11 Copy quote

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• I used to wonder why God used a prop like the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil to inflict guilt on Adam&Eve, until I realized it could have been a steak or a plate of fries or a bagel. Anything. Making people feel guilty is a staple of religion and society in general. It works. And if you can transfer guilt from a real criminal to an innocent bystander, you've really got something going. It's a magic stage trick that can make a career.

  Jon Rappoport

  Real, Bystanders, Careers

  7 Copy quote

• When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel.

  Steven Wright

  Mind, Trying, Looks

  15 Copy quote