Christmas Shopping Quotes

• Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.

  Richard Lamm

  Funny, Christmas, Xmas

  87 Copy quote

• I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

  David Letterman

  Christmas, Running, Shopping

  57 Copy quote

• Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.

  Hamilton Wright Mabie

  Love, Christmas, Xmas

  Hamilton Wright Mabie (1900). “My study fire: first series”

  102 Copy quote

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• The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.

  Bill Vaughan

  Inspirational, Family, Happy

  36 Copy quote

• Every gift which is given, even though is be small, is in reality great, if it is given with affection

  Pindar

  Christmas, Reality, Affection

  55 Copy quote

• Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

  Johnny Carson

  Funny, Christmas, Sarcastic

  61 Copy quote

• I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

  Charles Dickens

  Love, Christmas, Education

  A Christmas Carol stave 4 (1843)

  99 Copy quote

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• I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

  Shirley Temple

  Funny, Christmas, Mother

  Quoted in Leslie Halliwell, Halliwell's Filmgoer's Companion (1984)

  61 Copy quote

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• Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts.

  Joan Winmill Brown

  Christmas, Xmas, Heart

  16 Copy quote

• In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka" and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Hanukka!" or (to the atheists) "Look out for the wall!"

  Dave Barry

  Christmas, Christian, Atheist

  "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide" by Dave Barry, www.davebarry.com.

  102 Copy quote

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• There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?

  Conan O'Brien

  Christmas, Mean, Shopping

  4 Copy quote

• Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

  Dave Barry

  Christmas, Religious, Holiday

  15 Copy quote

• It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.

  William Thomas Ellis

  Christmas, Xmas, Heart

  30 Copy quote

• Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.

  Norman Vincent Peale

  Love, Positive, Christmas

  31 Copy quote

• Wretched excess is an unfortunate human trait that turns a perfectly good idea such as Christmas into a frenzy of last-minute shopping.

  Jon Anderson

  Christmas, Perfectly Good, Shopping

  15 Copy quote

• Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.

  Peg Bracken

  Love, Christmas, Time

  91 Copy quote

• From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.

  Katharine Whitehorn

  Funny, Christmas, Views

  9 Copy quote

• Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.

  Andy Borowitz

  Funny, Christmas, Religious

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Dec 23, 2012

  19 Copy quote

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• As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.

  Donald E. Westlake

  Family, Christmas, Struggle

  36 Copy quote

• To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To you, respect.

  Oren Arnold

  Christmas, Xmas, Children

  43 Copy quote

• I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

  Bernard Manning

  Funny, Birthday, Christmas

  62 Copy quote

• Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.

  Laura Ingalls Wilder

  Christmas, Xmas, Memories

  Laura Ingalls Wilder, Yvonne Pope (2006). “Laura Ingalls Wilder's Prairie Wisdom”, p.68, Andrews McMeel Publishing

  55 Copy quote

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• You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Mom, Girlfriend, Redneck

  8 Copy quote

• Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance.

  Oren Arnold

  Christmas, Xmas, Tolerance

  29 Copy quote

• Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'.

  Bing Crosby

  Christmas, Xmas, Blessed

  78 Copy quote