Dirty Quotes - Page 40

• If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.'

  Demetri Martin

  Thinking, Years, Laughing

  Source: www.thefutoncritic.com

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• I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.

  Bo Burnham

  Song, Kids, Singing

  Source: thelatest.co.uk

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• I've been to Washington many times over the years for stories, and it always seems remarkably the same. More the same than the rest of the country. It's almost like they dress the same as they did 20 years ago. The same old guys are sitting outside the same dirty, dingy secret offices in the Capitol that you're not allowed to go in.

  Dave Barry

  Country, Years, Office

  ""All I Think Is That It's Stupid": An Interview with Dave Barry". Interview with Glenn Garvin, reason.com. December, 1994.

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• I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started.

  Gabriel Iglesias

  Tvs, Way, Firsts

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• When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you is not dirty to the other person. Comedy is one of those things you throw against the wall and see what sticks.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Wall, Sticks, Comedy

  Source: smashinginterviews.com

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• When you're in @#*!#-ing hell, your forehead can feel a wee bit feverish. (By the way, that's the way my wife actually curses. She doesn't use dirty words; she'll literally say "asterisk, pound sign, exclamation point, the-letter-'A'-with-a-circle-around-it, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk.")

  Paul Reiser

  Funny, Exclamation Points, Circles

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• I went to sexaholics anonymous for six months. For research. I wanted to see the structure of the groups, how they were conducted, and what the atmosphere was like, and also to be able to describe the people as human beings, rather than as the dirty jokes that they are in our culture.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  People, Atmosphere, Groups

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• The tagline behind "House of Lies" is funny, dirty, business. The show is a comedy satire about how big business operates. Most Americans that work in corporate America should be able to relate to this show.

  Larenz Tate

  Lying, America, House

  Source: blogs.indiewire.com

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• The only parts I like out of any of those women books is the dirty parts. But I don't think their dirty parts are any good, really.

  Patti Smith

  Book, Thinking

  Source: www.oceanstar.com

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• It's people wanting to do something about global climate change. People fed up with the high price of gas. People tired of breathing dirty air. In Houston, Los Angeles, Bakersfield, and other cities. It's going to be a critical mass of people experiencing something.

  Ed Begley, Jr.

  Tired, Air, Breathing

  "Power Q&A: Ed Begley Jr". Interview with Jennifer Vogel, www.motherjones.com. April 21, 2008.

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• You can't help but feel the energy of the audience - and if you feel they hate you that feels weird and dirty. But I would never want to take it too seriously. It's understandable that you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea. I think that's helped me survive.

  Charlyne Yi

  Hate, Thinking, Tea

  Interview with Sheila Heti, staging.believermag.com. March/April 2010.

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• All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

  Bo Burnham

  Funny, Humor, Catholic

  Song: Klan Kookout, Album: Bo Burnham

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• The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Sexy, Humor

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• Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Humor, Sandwiches

  "Jim Gaffigan: King Baby". www.imdb.com. 2009.

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• I call the art of theatre a "dirty art", since there are so many people involved who have needs and whims to be satisfied.

  Jennifer Tipton

  Art, People, Theatre

  Source: theatrenow.wordpress.com

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• Like, I'm trying to make a statement that clean comedy is somehow better or loftier than dirty comedy, and I don't feel that way at all. I just think it's different. It's different. There's rock music, there's jazz music, there's reggae music: All of those forms are different.

  Brian Regan

  Thinking, Rocks, Trying

  Source: www.vulture.com

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• They're lying bastards. Jews were always lying bastards throughout their history. They're a filthy, dirty, disgusting, vile, criminal people.

  Bobby Fischer

  Lying, People, Criminals

  Radio Interview, www.geocities.jp. March 10, 1999.

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• I just don't have the desire no more, I don't have the stomach to do it no more. I don't even kill insects in my house. I just don't kill anything no more. I used to kill pigeons, rip their heads off, 'You dirty rat pigeon!' I don't even have the heart to kill an animal no more. I just changed my whole life in general. That probably could have changed the way I fight.

  Mike Tyson

  Rip, Heart, Fighting

  "Tyson's love for the fight game turns to disgust". Interview with Dan Rafael, www.espn.com. June 11, 2005.

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• She [Sadie Thompson] gathered herself together. No one could describe the scorn of her expression or the contemptuous hatred she put into her answer. "You men! You filthy dirty pigs! You're all the same, all of you. Pigs! Pigs!"

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Men, Pigs, Expression

  "Altogether: Being the collected stories of W. Somerset Maugham (Rain)". Book by W. Somerset Maugham, 1934.

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• We got to do something about these Asians coming in and opening up business and dirty shops. They ought to go.

  Marion Barry

  Opening Up, Racism, Racist

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• Everything is going killer. It's loud and dirty and everything that people expect from DOPE . This situation is nothing new for any of us and so far it's been pretty effortless. We are all crazy excited to get back to Japan and party our asses off, not to mention that we can't wait to kick some Japanese ass on Halloween.

  Brian Ebejer

  Crazy, Halloween, Party

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• Dirty days hath September
  April June and November
  From January up to May
  The rain it raineth every day
  All the rest have thirty-one
  Without a blessed gleam of sun
  And if any of them had two-and-thirty
  They'd be just as wet and twice as dirty."
  
  
  
  "April hath put a spirit of youth in everything.

  William Shakespeare

  Spring, Blessed, Rain

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• If you're a gardener, or creating a garden you're clearly looking to the future. You have a sense of your own future and a sense of yourself in that space. People coming here feel that hope, that renewal, and that sense of regeneration. They get their hands dirty and connect back to the ground, which is what we feel strongly about - giving everybody the opportunity to get connected to the earth.

  Amanda Marshall

  Opportunity, Garden, Hands

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• People say I'm a disgrace to the human race. I love overweight women when they sit on my face.

  R.A. The Rugged Man

  Sex, Rap, Race

  Song: Da' Girlz, They Luv Me, Album: Die, Rugged Man, Die, 2004

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• International correspondents with their long dictaphones, and dirty jeans, and five hundred words before whiskey, are slouched over the red velvet chairs, in the VIP section in the front, looking for the Story: the Most Macheteing Deathest, Most Treasury Corruptest, Most Entrail-Eating Civil Warest, Most Crocodile-Grinning Dictatorest, MOst Heart-Wrenching and Genociding Pulitzerest, Most Black Big-Eyed Oxfam Child Starvingest, Most Wild African Savages Having AIDS-Ridden Sexest with Genetically Mutilatedest Girls...The Most Authentic Real Black Africanest story they can find.

  Binyavanga Wainaina

  Girl, Children, Real

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