Fake Quotes - Page 38

• You do bits and you fake anger and you write a bit and you have passion for it. Then you do it too many times and you have to work up the anger... and I've never had to do that with Dr. Drew Pintsky. Dr. Drew is to medicine what David Blaine is to science.

  Doug Stanhope

  Passion, Writing, Medicine

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• When you're not 21, it's great to drink because you're not allowed to. You're a rebel: you gotta get a fake I.D., you gotta find a place to drink it, you gotta sneak in drunk. And if you get away with all that, you're laying in bed, your heart's pounding, you got vomit on your chin. You're like, 'I'm a rebel!' And you are. You're cool.

  Greg Fitzsimmons

  Heart, Sneak In, Drunk

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• It was so nice to go into this fake courtroom [on Ally McBeal]. I immediately went up into the judge's chair. Nice view. A preferable perspective.

  Robert Downey, Sr.

  Nice, Views, Perspective

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• Oh, Hello. I'm Eugene Mirman, and I'm here to introduce my special. It's called An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground Laboratory.

  Eugene Mirman

  Special, Evening, Comedy

  "Eugene Mirman: An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground Laboratory". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. December 21, 2012.

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• One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?

  Dana Gould

  Christian, Jesus, Atheist

  FaceBook post by Dana Gould from Mar 26, 2012

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• If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.

  Dana Gould

  Brother, Giants, Wanted

  FaceBook post by Dana Gould from Apr 10, 2012

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• Eddie Izzard is doing his show in French... Will he be able to fake ad-lib as well in other languages? He's been speaking French for a while now, but he's talking about doing his act in German. Haven't the German people suffered enough?

  Andy Kindler

  Talking, People, Speaking French

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• In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk. Ladies, you fake orgasms. We fake listening.

  Alonzo Bodden

  Mean, Listening, Communicate

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• Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.

  Dov Davidoff

  Self Esteem, Levels, Owners

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Feb 29, 2012

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• Women often use large fake breasts like a gun, pointing the weapon at you in an attempt to garner the attention their father never gave them.

  Dov Davidoff

  Father, Gun, Attention

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• ... what is faked [by the computerization of image-making], of course, is not reality, but photographic reality, reality as seen by the camera lens. In other words, what computer graphics have (almost) achieved is not realism, but rather only photorealism - the ability to fake not our perceptual and bodily experience of reality but only its photographic image.

  Lev Manovich

  Reality, Cameras, Lenses

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• I got a job in the tear-sheets department, ripping up magazines like People, Fortune, Sports Illustrated, and Time, and delivering the editorial pages.... So I began to use a camera to make fake photographs of the ads. By re-photographing a magazine page and then developing the film in a cheap lab, the photos came out very strange.

  Richard Prince

  Sports, Jobs, People

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• Don't be intimidated by Caesar's Hollywood fake versions of religiosity. If life has a meaning for you beyond the TV-studio game, you are religious! Spell it out!

  Timothy Leary

  Religious, Games, Hollywood

  Timothy Leary (2012). “High Priest”, p.334, Ronin Publishing

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• A disciple came to the celebrated Master of the Good Name with a question. “Rabbi, how are we to distinguish between a true master and a fake?” And the master of the good name said, “When you meet a person who poses as a master, ask him a question: whether he knows how to purify your thoughts. If he says that he knows, then he is a fake.

  Elie Wiesel

  Names, Masters, Said

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• I know that sometimes people fake on each other out of genuine motives to hold onto the object of their tenderest feelings. They see themselves as so inadequate that they feel forced to wear a mask in order to continuously impress the other. I do not want to "hold" you, I want you to "stay" out of your own need for me.

  Eldridge Cleaver

  Order, People, Feelings

  ELDRIDGE CLEAVER (1968). “SOUL ON ICE”

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• I had taken the photograph from afar (distance being the basic glitch in our relationship), using my Nikon and zoom lens while hiding behind a fake marble pillar. I was hiding because if he knew I'd been secretly photographing him for all these months he would think I was immature, neurotic and obsessive. I'm not. I'm an artist. Artists are always misunderstood.(Thwonk)

  Joan Bauer

  Distance, Taken, Artist

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• Men!" "At least we don't fake it." "Listen, it was your uncle. And we were late, remember? So I made the sacrifice and got us there in time for dessert. You should be thanking me." Morelli's mouth was open slightly and his face was registering a mixture of astonished disbelief and wounded, pissed-off male pride. Okay, it wasn't that much of a sacrifice at the time, and I knew he shouldn't be thanking me, but give me a break here... this wasn't famine in Ethiopia

  Janet Evanovich

  Uncles, Pride, Sacrifice

  Janet Evanovich (2010). “Eleven on Top”, p.192, Macmillan

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• A lot of young girls think that the opposite of fake is rudeness. And just as ugly as fake is, so is saying whatever is on your mind because it's the truth.

  Tyra Banks

  Girl, Thinking, Opposites

  "Eric Daman". "America's Next Top Model", April 06, 2011.

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• He handed her her cap and sunglasses, then put on his own while she frowned at them. “What is this?” “A disguise.” He grinned at her. “Dobie wants you to wear them. Let’s give him a break, or he might order fake mustaches and clown noses off the Internet.” She rolled her eyes, but put them on. “And what, this makes us look like twins? Where are your tits?” “You’re wearing them, and may I say they look spectacular on you.”' - Chasing Fire

  Nora Roberts

  Eye, Fire, Order

  Nora Roberts (2011). “Chasing Fire”, p.332, Penguin

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• Boyfriend huh? I didn't realize we had taken things to that level." "Oh, I'm sorry--this is my first undercover operation," Jordan said. "I'm a little unclear about the rules. Are we seeing other people in this fake relationship?

  Julie James

  Sorry, Taken, People

  Julie James (2011). “A Lot Like Love”, p.50, Penguin

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• I said, "I don't think I can give you that kind of emotion." And he [Hitchcock] sat there and said, "Ingrid, fake it!" Well, that was the best advice I've had in my whole life, because in all the years to come there were many directors who gave me what I thought were quite impossible instructions and many difficult things to do, and just when I was on the verge of starting to argue with them, I heard his voice coming to me through the air saying, "Ingrid, fake it!" It saved a lot of unpleasant situations and waste of time.

  Ingrid Bergman

  Thinking, Voice, Air

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• I was exhausted from fake partying. I was like, "I just danced for nine hours. Goodnight, ladies!"

  Mila Kunis

  Party, Nine, Exhausted

  "Here's Mila Kunis and Kathryn Hahn's Advice For Every Husband". Interview with Emily Zemler, www.esquire.com. July 29, 2016.

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• There's a good deal of ivory being sold that claims to be antique ivory. In fact, we've seen evidence that there are fake antiques being carved in countries like China.

  Allen Crawford

  Country, Ivory, Antiques

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• I'm not a great actor in the sense that I can't fake it if I'm going through something difficult.

  Eric Lange

  Actors, Difficult, Ifs

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• So-called Chinese art and culture is under control of the Party. They exist to serve the official agenda. I call it fake art and culture.

  Ai Weiwei

  Art, Chinese, Culture

  "Freely Speaking". Interview with Paul D. Miller, realitysandwich.com. August 22, 2012.

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