Funny Merry Christmas Quotes - Page 2

• I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know.

  Irving Berlin

  Christmas, Dream, Xmas

  "White Christmas" (song) (1942)

  91 Copy quote

  Show source

• Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love. It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.

  William Thomas Ellis

  Christmas, Xmas, Blessed

  17 Copy quote

• To the American People: Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. If we think on these things, there will be born in us a Savior and over us will shine a star sending its gleam of hope to the world." ~ Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933), American president. Presidential message (December 25, 1927).

  Calvin Coolidge

  Christmas, Stars, Xmas

  26 Copy quote

• On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind.

  David Sedaris

  Christmas, Adversity, Two

  7 Copy quote

• Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

  Johnny Carson

  Funny, Christmas, Sarcastic

  62 Copy quote

• There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

  Erma Bombeck

  Christmas, Spiritual, Morning

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.260, Open Road Media

  37 Copy quote

  Show source

• What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

  Phyllis Diller

  Christmas, Jobs, Xmas

  54 Copy quote

• The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.

  Bill Vaughan

  Inspirational, Family, Happy

  38 Copy quote

• I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

  Shirley Temple

  Funny, Christmas, Mother

  Quoted in Leslie Halliwell, Halliwell's Filmgoer's Companion (1984)

  65 Copy quote

  Show source

• Christ was born in the first century, yet he belongs to all centuries. He was born a Jew, yet He belongs to all races. He was born in Bethlehem, yet He belongs to all countries.

  George W Truett

  Christmas, Country, Race

  "Who Said That?: More than 2,500 Usable Quotes and Illustrations". Book by George Sweeting, p. 101, 1995.

  77 Copy quote

  Show source

• Don't let the past steal your present. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.

  Taylor Caldwell

  Christmas, Holiday, Past

  61 Copy quote

• A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world!

  Charles Dickens

  Christmas, New Year, Years

  "Dickens' Christmas Spirits: A Christmas Carol and Other Tales".

  14 Copy quote

  Show source

• Love the giver more than the gift.

  Brigham Young

  Love, Christmas, Meaningful

  23 Copy quote

• Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.

  Richard Lamm

  Funny, Christmas, Xmas

  90 Copy quote

• Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?

  Bill Watterson

  Christmas, Xmas, Beer

  "Calvin and Hobbes". Comic strip by Bill Watterson, November 18, 1985 – December 31, 1995.

  9 Copy quote

  Show source

• At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year.

  Thomas Tusser

  Christmas, Xmas, Cheer

  Five Hundred Pointes of Good Husbandrie (1580)

  71 Copy quote

  Show source

• That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Funny, Christmas, People

  12 Copy quote

• Heap on more wood! - the wind is chill; But let it whistle as it will, We'll keep our Christmas merry still.

  Walter Scott

  Christmas, Wind, Woods

  Walter Scott (1810). “Marmion: A Tale of Flodden Field”, p.133

  23 Copy quote

  Show source

• The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Christmas, Girl

  144 Copy quote

• Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

  Calvin Coolidge

  Christmas, Xmas, Real

  "Chicken soup for the soul Christmas treasury for kids" by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Hansen, Irene Dunlap, HCI, (p. 1), 2002.

  103 Copy quote

  Show source

• One can never have enough socks," said Dumbledore. "Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.

  J. K. Rowling

  Family, Christmas, Book

  9 Copy quote

• Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.

  Dale Evans

  Love, Marriage, Christmas

  86 Copy quote

• Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

  Kin Hubbard

  Funny, Christmas, Xmas

  91 Copy quote

• A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

  Garrison Keillor

  Love, Funny, Christmas

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  72 Copy quote

  Show source

• Christmas is a season not only of rejoicing but of reflection.

  Winston Churchill

  Christmas, Reflection, Rejoice

  16 Copy quote