Funny Valentine Quotes

• If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.

  Maya Angelou

  Inspirational, Life, Smile

  Maya Angelou (2012). “The Collected Autobiographies of Maya Angelou”, p.424, Modern Library

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• Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Romantic, Valentines Day

  97 Copy quote
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  I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.

  Elizabeth Barrett Browning

  Love, Valentines Day, Cute Boyfriend

  1850 Poems,'Sonnets from the Portuguese', sonnet 43.

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• If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.

  A. A. Milne

  Love, Friendship, Birthday

  "Winnie-the-Pooh: The House at Pooh Corner". Book by A. A. Milne, 1928.

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• Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Funny, Witty

  149 Copy quote

• What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.

  Pearl Bailey

  Love, Romantic, Valentines Day

  "Weekly World News" Magazine, Vol. 26, No. 33, April 25, 2005.

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• Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love.

  William Shakespeare

  Love, Funny Valentines Day, Men

  William Shakespeare (1998). “As You Like It”, p.57, Courier Corporation

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• Love is a game that two can play and both win.

  Eva Gabor

  Love, Valentines Day, Fun

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

  Erich Segal

  Love, Inspiring, Valentines Day

  86 Copy quote
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  For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

  Judy Garland

  Love, Funny, Romantic

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• Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another.

  Thomas Merton

  Love, Valentines Day, Fate

  Thomas Merton (1979). “Love and Living”, p.32, Macmillan

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  When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

  Mark Twain

  Love, Marriage, Wisdom

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.126, Courier Corporation

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• I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

  Dorothy Parker

  Marriage, Wedding, Stupid

  Dorothy Parker, Stuart Y. Silverstein (2009). “Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker”, p.19, Simon and Schuster

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• Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.

  William Shakespeare

  Love, Boyfriend, Valentines Day

  'Hamlet' (1601) act 2, sc. 2, l. [115]

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• A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.

  Rupert Brooke

  Love, Relationship, Valentines Day

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• All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Love, Funny, Valentines Day

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• Like I've always said, love wouldn't be blind if the braille weren't so damned much fun.

  Armistead Maupin

  Valentines Day, Fun, Valentine's Day

  Armistead Maupin (1992). “Maybe the moon: a novel”, HarperCollins Publishers

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• I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

  Robert Orben

  Valentines Day, Girl, Heart

  Robert Orben (1969). “The Ad-libber's Handbook: 2000 New Laughs for Speakers”

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• Money gives me pleasure all the time.

  Hilaire Belloc

  Giving, Silly Love, Rhyming

  'Fatigued' (1923)

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• Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

  Lynda Barry

  Love, Funny Valentines Day, Funny Love

  57 Copy quote

• A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

  Ingrid Bergman

  Love, Valentines Day, Nature

  "An Uncommon Scold". Book by Abby Adams, 1989.

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• Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.

  Judith Viorst

  Love, Funny, Valentines Day

  "The Problem Behind All Problems". Book by Michael Hansbury, 2009.

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• I'm tired of love; I'm still more tired of rhyme; but money gives me pleasure all the time.

  Hilaire Belloc

  Love, Money, Tired

  Sonnets and Verse (1923) "Fatigued"

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• Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

  Roseanne Barr

  Valentines Day, Funny Relationship, Men

  8 Copy quote

• Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.

  Thomas Szasz

  Funny, Happiness, Wisdom

  The Second Sin "Emotions" (1973)

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