Funny Wedding Speech Quotes

• Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Anniversary, Marriage

  Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints (1966)

  95 Copy quote

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• Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Thinking, Men

  36 Copy quote

• Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.

  Mickey Rooney

  Funny, Marriage, Wedding

  "Philip French's screen legends" by Philip French, www.theguardian.com. May 15, 2010.

  15 Copy quote

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• In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

  Woody Allen

  Marriage, Funny Love, Best Love

  18 Copy quote

• The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

  Henny Youngman

  Love, Anniversary, Marriage

  Forbes Magazine, Volume 166 (p. 156), 2000.

  74 Copy quote

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• The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Life, Marriage

  126 Copy quote

• I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Marriage, Sarcastic

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  106 Copy quote

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• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  Rita Rudner

  Love, Funny, Life

  249 Copy quote

• Marriage is like a golden ring in a chain, whose beginning is a glance and whose ending is eternity.

  Khalil Gibran

  Love, Marriage, Wedding

  14 Copy quote

• We never live so intensely as when we love strongly. We never realize ourselves so vividly as when we are in full glow of love for others.

  Walter Rauschenbusch

  Wedding, Realizing, Reception

  71 Copy quote

• An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

  Agatha Christie

  Love, Funny, Birthday

  Attributed in Bennett Cerf, The Life of the Party (1956)

  138 Copy quote

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  Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.

  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  Love, Inspirational, Life

  Terre des Hommes ch. 8 (1939)

  209 Copy quote

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  Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.

  Saint Augustine

  Love, Beauty, Wedding

  "The Little Book of Bathroom Philosophy: Daily Wisdom from the Greatest Thinkers". Book by Gregory Bergman, 2004.

  126 Copy quote

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  There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.

  Martin Luther

  Love, Friendship, Relationship

  "Table Talk" by Martin Luther, (p. 292), 1569.

  99 Copy quote

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• Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.

  Emily Bronte

  Love, Romantic, Anniversary

  Wuthering Heights ch. 9 (1847)

  98 Copy quote

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• I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

  Red Skelton

  Inspiration, Divorce, Names

  64 Copy quote

• Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Sarcastic, Wedding

  38 Copy quote

• Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.

  Maryon Pearson

  Marriage, Sarcastic, Wedding

  48 Copy quote

• The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

  Herbert V. Prochnow

  Love, Funny, Relationship

  Herbert V. Prochnow (1994). “1000 Stories and Illustrations for All Occasions”, Baker Publishing Group

  33 Copy quote

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• Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination.

  Voltaire

  Love, Romantic, Valentines Day

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  74 Copy quote

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• I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

  Dorothy Parker

  Marriage, Wedding, Stupid

  Dorothy Parker, Stuart Y. Silverstein (2009). “Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker”, p.19, Simon and Schuster

  105 Copy quote

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• Love is the beauty of the soul.

  Saint Augustine

  Love, Romantic, Beauty

  "The Little Book of Bathroom Philosophy: Daily Wisdom from the Greatest Thinkers". Book by Gregory Bergman, 2004.

  59 Copy quote

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• They do not love that do not show their love.

  William Shakespeare

  Love, Marriage, Valentines Day

  William Shakespeare, Edmond Malone, James Boswell, Samuel Johnson, Mr. Theobald (Lewis) (1821). “The Plays and Poems of William Shakspeare: With the Corrections and Illustrations of Various Commentators”, p.20

  74 Copy quote

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• There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.

  Clint Eastwood

  Marriage, Single, Divorce

  Investor's Business Daily, April 9, 2001.

  50 Copy quote

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• Without love, the world itself would not survive.

  Lope de Vega

  Love, Wedding, World

  12 Copy quote