Girlfriend Quotes - Page 29

• My last Olympics, I had a girlfriend — big mistake. Now I’m single, so London should be really good. I’m excited.

  Ryan Lochte

  Mistake, Olympics, London

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• Find out if your girlfriend is a feminist before you get too far into it. Some of them are pretty. They don't all look like Bella Abzug.

  Phyllis Schlafly

  Feminist, Looks, Ifs

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• I don't like vampire movies or zombie movies. I went to see 'I Am Legend' with an ex-girlfriend the other day, and I immediately realised it was a zombie movie! You know what I mean? There are certain rules, and those rules are things that you've seen many times.

  Michel Gondry

  Mean, Zombie, Vampire

  "Surreal to reel" by Damon Wise, www.theguardian.com.

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• I don't want to be defined as someone's girlfriend.

  L'Wren Scott

  Want, Defined

  "L'Wren Scott's Fashion Company Was $6 Million In Debt Before Her Death" by Aly Weisman, www.businessinsider.com. March 18, 2014.

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• I was raised by a single mother and I've been in a 10-year relationship with my girlfriend. My whole life I've been surrounded by women.

  Jon Hamm

  Mother, Years, Whole Life

  "'People really needed convincing that they wanted me'". Interview With Chrissy Iley, www.theguardian.com. April 27, 2008.

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• To be born as a human being is a rare thing, something to be grateful for. But being born as a human being is worthless if you spend your whole life in a mental hospital. It is worthless if you worry about not having money. It is worthless if you become neurotic because you cannot get a prestigious job. It is worthless if you weep because you lose your girlfriend.

  Kodo Sawaki

  Jobs, Grateful, Worry

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• According to FBI statistics for 2008, only 22 percent of murder victims were killed by strangers. More than 30 percent were slain by family members, boyfriends, and girlfriends. Nearly half of all murders were committed by friends, neighbors, and casual acquaintances.

  Alafair Burke

  Murder Victims, Half, Statistics

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• When I got fired, I had a feeling of loss because Viacom had been a passionate long-term relationship. But I got my balance back. I guess its like getting jilted by a girlfriend, a serious girlfriend. You move on.

  Tom Freston

  Moving, Loss, Long

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• I was 14 and madly in love for the first time. He was 21. He made me suddenly, unaccustomedly beautiful with his kisses and mix tapes. During the year of elation and longing, he never mentioned that he had a girlfriend who lived across the street.

  Daphne Gottlieb

  Beautiful, Kissing, Years

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• Economists have put themselves in a position where what they are doing is supposed to be impossible to understand for outsiders, so they dont even talk - sometimes not even with their girlfriend or boyfriend or friends - about what they are doing.

  Thomas Piketty

  Outsiders, Impossible, Sometimes

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• Programming languages are like girlfriends: The new one is better because *you* are better.

  Derek Sivers

  Language, Programming, Programming Languages

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• My girlfriends are my life, but I'm also one of those girls who can hang out with the guys.

  Sophia Bush

  Girl, Guy, Hanging Out

  "EXCLUSIVE: Sophia Bush Gets Played in Stay Alive!". MovieWeb Interview, movieweb.com. March 24, 2006.

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• Destruction is a true sign of devotion. As I always tell my girlfriend when she threatens to kill me. 'You should kill me and it would tell me that you love me.

  Billy Corgan

  Devotion, Destruction, Should

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• The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Girl, Humor

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• I don't trust a girl who doesn't have any girlfriends.

  Jennifer Lawrence

  Girl, Don't Trust

  "Jennifer Lawrence Tells Marie Claire ‘I Don’t Trust A Girl Who Doesn’t Have Any Girlfriends’" By Chanel Parks, www.huffingtonpost.com. May 8, 2014.

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• While watching the New Orleans Saints (on television), I got angry and punched my bed, and then my remote control flew up and hit me in the head. My girlfriend didn't stop laughing for an hour.

  Shane West

  New Orleans, Flew Up, Laughing

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• People say love is a gift but i say love is a burden, loving someone and having to watch them be in love with someone else.

  Joshua

  Love Is, People, Loving Someone

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• A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"

  Billy Connolly

  Funny, Brother, Humor

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• I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

  Bo Burnham

  Funny, Uncles, Humor

  Song: Ironic, Album: Words Words Words, 2010

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• All my friends are always telling me how hard it is to have kids. 'Oh, David, it's so hard.' That's not hard. I'll tell you what hard is. Try talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion. Yeah, that's hard, that takes finesse. You're just inconvenienced.

  David Cross

  Funny, Humor, Kids

  "It's Not Funny". Stand-up comedy album by David Cross, November 14, 2004.

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• There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?

  Jimmy Carr

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

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• I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

  Jimmy Carr

  Funny, Humor, Swim

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• Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

  Jimmy Carr

  Funny, Sex, Humor

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• I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers.

  Frank Carson

  Funny, Humor, Next

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• I like storms. I like thunder and lightning. What I do during a storm is shag my girlfriend and pretend that we're taking part in the conception of the Antichrist.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Storm

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