Girlfriend Quotes - Page 27

• I have the loving support of my girlfriend who still attends Wake Forest and is nearing graduation. She helps me cope with the everyday rigors of being an NBA player.

  Tim Duncan

  Inspirational, Funny, Graduation

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• He slipped his hands around my waist and pulled me against him, tossing the ice cream cone over his shoulder. It landed with a splat on the sidewalk. 'So does that mean I have a varsity girlfriend?'

  Stephanie Davis

  Soccer, Mean, Hands

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• Be a half-assed crusader, a part-time fanatic. Don't worry to much about the fate of the world. Saving the world is only a hobby. Get out there and enjoy the world, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, husbands wives; climb mountains, run rivers, get drunk, do whatever you want to do while you can, before it's too late.

  Edward Abbey

  Running, Husband, Fate

  6 Copy quote

• If he checks your phone bills or shopping receipts, something isn't right. Controlling your partner in any way is unhealthy. I've been with my girlfriend for five years and it's important to me that she feels relaxed and free. I hate to see someone made to feel unsafe and helpless - particularly women as men are physically stronger.

  Ashley Banjo

  Hate, Men, Years

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• I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers.

  Frank Carson

  Funny, Humor, Next

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• My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Upset, Cry, New Haircut

  264 Copy quote

• I've always felt it's ridiculous to say, of any of the females in my life: You're my friend, you're my wife, you're my girlfriend, you're my co-worker. 'This is your box, and you're not allowed to stray outside of it.'

  Jack White

  Wife, Female, Ridiculous

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• I was the boy that turned a girlfriend into the most celebrated lesbian on television. I got so much stick for that.

  Benedict Cumberbatch

  Boys, Television, Sticks

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• True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend

  Luke Wilson

  Couple, Team, Home

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• I do not have a 24-year-old girlfriend. I have another life altogether.

  Jens Lehmann

  Years, Insulting, Another Life

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• A new club is like having a new girlfriend – you don't have feelings straight away

  Michael Owen

  Feelings, Clubs, New Girlfriend

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• No boyfriend wants to see their girlfriend in a video with a big, handsome black dude feeding his fingers into her mouth, do they? But that concept is my expression, and boyfriends have to deal with that, don't they?

  FKA twigs

  Expression, Black, Video

  18 Copy quote

• My last Olympics, I had a girlfriend — big mistake. Now I’m single, so London should be really good. I’m excited.

  Ryan Lochte

  Mistake, Olympics, London

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• Find out if your girlfriend is a feminist before you get too far into it. Some of them are pretty. They don't all look like Bella Abzug.

  Phyllis Schlafly

  Feminist, Looks, Ifs

  43 Copy quote

• I don't like vampire movies or zombie movies. I went to see 'I Am Legend' with an ex-girlfriend the other day, and I immediately realised it was a zombie movie! You know what I mean? There are certain rules, and those rules are things that you've seen many times.

  Michel Gondry

  Mean, Zombie, Vampire

  "Surreal to reel" by Damon Wise, www.theguardian.com.

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• I like storms. I like thunder and lightning. What I do during a storm is shag my girlfriend and pretend that we're taking part in the conception of the Antichrist.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Storm

  7 Copy quote

• I don't want to be defined as someone's girlfriend.

  L'Wren Scott

  Want, Defined

  "L'Wren Scott's Fashion Company Was $6 Million In Debt Before Her Death" by Aly Weisman, www.businessinsider.com. March 18, 2014.

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• I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day... Chlamydia.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Valentine, Humor

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• I was raised by a single mother and I've been in a 10-year relationship with my girlfriend. My whole life I've been surrounded by women.

  Jon Hamm

  Mother, Years, Whole Life

  "'People really needed convincing that they wanted me'". Interview With Chrissy Iley, www.theguardian.com. April 27, 2008.

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• To be born as a human being is a rare thing, something to be grateful for. But being born as a human being is worthless if you spend your whole life in a mental hospital. It is worthless if you worry about not having money. It is worthless if you become neurotic because you cannot get a prestigious job. It is worthless if you weep because you lose your girlfriend.

  Kodo Sawaki

  Jobs, Grateful, Worry

  55 Copy quote

• And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Humor, Time Zones

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• I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.

  Adam Ferrara

  Funny, Sex, Humor

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• Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Eye, Humor

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• I was talking to my friend and he said his girlfriend was mad at him. I said, "What happened?" He goes: "Well, I guess I, uh... I guess I said something, and, uh... and then she got her feelings hurt." That's a weird way to phrase it: "She got her feelings hurt. I said something, and then she..." Could you more remove yourself from responsibility? "She got her feelings hurt." It's like saying, "Yeah, I shot this guy in the face, and then I guess he got himself murdered. I don't know what happened. He leaned into it."

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Hurt, Responsibility

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• I got married. My wife changed her name. I know some women have a problem with that. But I wanted her to have my old girlfriend's name. So call me old-fashioned, but this fella does what the Bible tells.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Names, Wife

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