Hey Quotes - Page 18

• Climate change is a real deal. So, hey deniers - cut it out, and let's get to work.

  Bill Nye

  Real, Cutting, Climate

  "Commencement Speech: Bill Nye the Science Guy". my.umbc.edu. May 20, 2015.

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• Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, "Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost?"

  Chris Rock

  Guy, Comedian, Different

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Republicans are always saying we should privatize things like schools, prisons, social security - hey, how about we privatize privacy! Because if the government forbids gay men from tying the knot, what is their alternative? They can`t all marry Liza Minnelli.

  Bill Maher

  School, Gay, Men

  Bill Maher (2006). “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer”, p.158, Rodale

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• I want to do something that people can really say, 'Hey, man, that was good, I'm proud of you, I'm proud of that.' 'Pride' and 'Transformers' and things like that.

  Bernie Mac

  Pride, Men, People

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• The luge is the only Olympic event where you could have people competing in it against their will, and it would look exactly the same. Take people off the street, 'Hey, hey, hey, what is this?! I don't wanna be in the luge!' Once you put that helmet on them, 'You're in the luge, buddy!' 'aaaAAAaaaAAAaaaAAA... aaaAAAAA...' World record. Didn't even wanna do it. I'd like to see that next Olympics, the Involuntary Luge.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  People, Olympics, Next

  "I'm Telling You for the Last Time". Stand-up comedy, 1998.

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• I had a parakeet that used to fly around the house and crash into these huge mirrors my mother put in. Ever heard of this interior design principle, that a mirror makes it seem like you have an entire other room? What kind of jerk walks up to a mirror and goes, Hey look, there's a whole other room in there. There's a guy that looks just like me in there.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Mother, Mirrors, Guy

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• She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy, you can just tell people she's crazy. 'Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up.' 'Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy.' That's what they always do on Entourage.

  Aziz Ansari

  Crazy, Men, People

  "Fictional character: Tom Haverford". Parks and Recreation, 2009–2015.

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• I had one job that was kind of cop-like. One summer I did security at a miniature golf course. Just standing out in the sun all day, Hey, hey, excuse me sir. Get your putter out of the whale's ass. Come on, this is a place of miniature business. This is not a playground even though it looks like a playground.

  Dane Cook

  Summer, Jobs, Golf

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• Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we're gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don't know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to run out on the porch and go "Hey baby? Man, it's hot as hell out here, ain't it! Look, don't worry about emptyin' that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I'm gonna go take a nap now, all right?"

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Baby, Sweet, Men

  "You Might Be a Redneck If…". Comedy album by Jeff Foxworthy, 1993.

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• You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Mouths, Might

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• I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, "I did it! Hey!"

  Bill Hicks

  Mean, Usa, Iraq

  "Bill Hicks: Relentless". Documentary, Comedy, 1992.

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• If you like strange, specific stuff - that's a nerd. Kanye West is a black nerd. He likes strange, specific stuff. If you go up to Kanye West and say, 'Hey, what are your favorite things?' He'll be like, 'Robots and teddy bears.' That's a nerd.

  Donald Glover

  Black, Nerd, Robots

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• I think it's good for the fans, as well, because they get to connect with you directly. You know, in the old days, if I wanted to, like, write to (Steven) Spielberg or Sam Raimi or whatever, I'm not sure I could actually write a fan mail and (I'd) have no idea where to actually send it. Nowadays, you can just, like, follow Ashton (Kutcher who still has among the most followers on Twitter) or, like, friend someone, you know, on Facebook, and you can actually just say, "Hey, I like your stuff."

  James Wan

  I Like You, Writing, Thinking

  Source: collider.com

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• I think all the fight stuff. I'm cut out for that. I used to wrestle in high school so I really love it, yeah. I love all the fighting and martial arts. Hey, why am I not up there? Oh, it's just a rehearsal. Keep going.

  Jaimie Alexander

  Art, School, Fighting

  Source: collider.com

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• The boyfriend of the student music teacher came in: "Hey, kids, this is a real Air Force pilot." I asked him something to the effect of how it felt to be dropping bombs on children in Vietnamese villages. And it got very icy in there all of a sudden, and finally the teacher said, "Oh, well, Eric reads a lot of newspapers. Next question."

  Jello Biafra

  Teacher, Children, Real

  Interview with Jodi Vander Molen, www.sharedhost.progressive.org. February 1, 2002.

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• Well, you know, my name is Ced and I kinda consider myself an entertainer. Hey that ain't bad yeah, Cedric the Entertainer.

  Cedric the Entertainer

  Names, Yeah, Wells

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• Ever see this? It's a homeless guy but he's got a dog... The dog's really thrilled with this idea. The dog's going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.

  Norm MacDonald

  Dog, Ideas, Guy

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• ...this is my dilemma. I'm a guy who makes things up as I go along, so nothing is ever finished - there are so many layers. So when you solo, yeah, you might get into one thing, but then, hey, everything has implications! You can hear the next level. And that's how I feel about improvising - there's always another level.

  Sonny Rollins

  Guy, Next Level, Levels

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• I was sitting on a plane that is traveling towards Seattle. And the guy next to me turns and says to me Hey, you going to Seattle?. Nope, San Francisco... I'll be parachuting off in about an hour. Here's your sign!

  Bill Engvall

  San Francisco, Guy, Sitting

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• It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says Hey, you moving? Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign.

  Bill Engvall

  Moving, Wife, House

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• Normal people terrify me, because they haven't had enough problems in their life to know how to handle problems when they come up. Something little happens and they snap. But being from a dysfunctional family means nothing rattles me. Hey once you've driven a drunken father to moms' parole hearing, what else is there?

  Christopher Titus

  Mom, Father, Mean

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Hey! D'you guys hear Dr. Atkins died? Slipped on some ice, hit his head, died on life support. The man who invented the all-meat diet... died a vegetable. That's a damn good joke. But that joke's like a Toyota Camry - reliable, not inspiring.

  Christopher Titus

  Men, Vegetables, Ice

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Fathers and sons are natural enemies. Look at any species. Shark, sees his father in the water, he's not thinking, Hey dad, wassup ? He's thinking, Back off, old man, this surfer carcass is mine. Of course, when his girlfriend swims up and she's like, Way, you know, there's enough surfer for everybody. You and your dad need to frenzy together more. Leave you father a thigh.

  Christopher Titus

  Girlfriend, Dad, Father

  "Titus / NASCAR". www.imdb.com. 2001.

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• My mom was crazy. And her mom was crazy. And her mom's mom was crazy. Is it my turn? Am I going to live the rest of my life giggling at raindrops, wearing paper slippers ? When I go to dinner with friends, should I not use a fork 'cause I just might snap? Hey, you guys look great. How's the baby?

  Christopher Titus

  Baby, Crazy, Dinner With Friends

  "Titus / Insanity Genetic: Part 2". www.imdb.com. 2002.

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• Bad news has never been broken gently in my family. Because, breaking it gently takes a few extra seconds. And who's got that kinda time? Hey, we maybe failures, but we are very busy.

  Christopher Titus

  Broken, News, Busy

  "Titus"(TV Series), www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

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