Idiot Quotes - Page 11

• My sister just had a baby, a little newborn. The kid is adorable, so cute. She wouldn't let me hold him, she refuses. She says, 'No way, Anthony, I'm afraid you're gonna drop him.' I'm 32 years old. Like I'm some kind of idiot. Like I don't have a million other ways to hurt that baby.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Funny, Cute, Baby

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• If you think Democrats are going to take away your Bible, you're an idiot. If you think they are going to take away your gun, you're an armed idiot. If you think they're going to take away your gun and give it to a Mexican to kill your God, you're Bill O'Reilly.

  Bill Maher

  Gun, Thinking, Giving

  "Real Time with Bill Maher", April 20, 2008.

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• When you can't smoke, if you stand and stare out of the window on your own, you're an antisocial, friendless idiot. If you stand and stare out of the window on your own with a cigarette, you're a philosopher.

  Rory Sutherland

  Motivation, Inspiration, Philosopher

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• Only idiots or snobs ever really thought less of 'genre books' of course. There are stupid books and there are smart books. There are well-written books and badly written books. There are fun books and boring books. All of these distinctions are vastly more important than the distinction between the literary and the non-literary.

  Stephen Marche

  Fun, Smart, Stupid

  "How Genre Fiction Became More Important Than Literary Fiction" by Stephen Marche, www.esquire.com. March 11, 2015.

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• If you are not a psychiatrist, stay away from idiots. They are too stupid to pay a layman for his company.

  Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

  Stupid, Pay, Psychiatrist

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• I literally feel pity for a lot of the stupid idiots that I have to deal with.

  Rose McGowan

  Stupid, Pity, Deals

  Source: www.hollywoodreporter.com

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• No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.

  Scott Adams

  Smart, Humor, Matter

  Scott Adams (1996). “The Dilbert principle: a cubicle's-eye view of bosses, meetings, management fads & other workplace afflictions”

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• In short, herein seems to lie the difference between idiots and madmen, that madmen put wrong ideas together, and so make wrong propositions, but argue and reason right from them: but idiots make very few or no propositions, and reason scarce at all.

  John Locke

  Lying, Ideas, Differences

  John Locke (1828). “An essay concerning human understanding ... The twentieth edition, etc”, p.100

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• Come the millennium, month 12, In the home of greatest power, The village idiot will come forth To be acclaimed the leader.

  Nostradamus

  Home, Leader, Village Idiots

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• One of the unwritten rules in a presidential news conference is that he'll answer questions. If he chooses not to, there's not much you can do about it other than make yourself look like an idiot screaming, which to me is counterproductive.

  Gwen Ifill

  Presidential, Looks, News

  Source: www.motherjones.com

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• How did we get to the point where we're paying for bottled water? That must have been some weird marketing meeting over in France. Some French guy's sitting there, like, "How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water."

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Thinking, Water

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• These days it seems like any idiot with a laptop computer can churn out a business book and make a few bucks. That's certainly what I'm hoping. It would be a real letdown if the trend changed before this masterpiece goes to print.

  Scott Adams

  Real, Book, Trends

  Scott Adams (1996). “The Dilbert principle: a cubicle's-eye view of bosses, meetings, management fads & other workplace afflictions”

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• When you're in morgue you're seeing life that no longer exists. It gives you an appreciation when you look someone in the eye, you shake their hand, and you hug your friends, your girlfriend, your family. It just gives you an appreciation for the life that surrounds you. At the same time you understand how fragile it is. That you don't need to be an idiot or get so angry at times.

  Milo Ventimiglia

  Appreciation, Girlfriend, Eye

  Source: www.movieweb.com

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• It's a lonely world, being independent, and they can come away with the idea that if Lloyd Kaufman can make movies with people getting their heads squashed, with hard-bodied lesbians, women masturbating with pickles, graphic diarrhea, and singing and dancing chicken zombies - if he can do that for 40 years and put his kids through Yale, Columbia, and Duke - if that idiot can do it, anybody can do it.

  Lloyd Kaufman

  Lonely, Kids, Independent

  Interview with Sean O'Neal, www.avclub.com. May 7, 2008.

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• A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.

  Norm MacDonald

  Christian, Stupid, Writing

  "Norm MacDonald Has No Problem Paying O.J. Simpson Under the Table". Interview with Abram Sauer, www.esquire.com. April 12, 2011.

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• This is what entertainment is all about- idiots, explosives and falling anvils.

  John Calvin

  Fall, Anvils, Entertainment

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• I know at times I come across like a Neanderthal or a babbling idiot, but I like that person.

  Mike Tyson

  Neanderthals, Persons, Knows

  "Mike Tyson on Broadway" by Avi Steinberg, www.newyorker.com. August 9, 2012.

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• Kissing scenes are never romantic or sexy, they're actually super technical, like, "Move your head, you're blocking her light," or, "Stop looking like an idiot when you kiss her." You do it again and again because of the camera angles and takes and whatnot. So by the end of it, it's not even kissing. All the anything is totally drained out of it.

  Will Poulter

  Sexy, Block, Moving

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• Everyone but an idiot knows that the lower classes must be kept poor, or they will never be industrious.

  Arthur Young

  Class, Poor, Knows

  "The Affordable Care Act Will Raise Wages" by Mary Manning Cleveland, www.huffingtonpost.com. Febriary 10, 2014.

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• Knowledge can never replace friendship. I prefer to be an idiot!

  Patrick Star

  "SpongeBob SquarePants/ Patrick SmartPants/SquidBob TentaclePants". Animation, Comedy, Family, October 2005.

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• To make a poem, take one newspaper, one pair of scissors, snip the words one by one and put them in a bag. Shake gently, draw them out at random, and copy them conscientiously... DADA est mort. DADA est idiot. Vive DADA!

  Tristan Tzara

  Bags, Pairs, Newspapers

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• Maximum sentence length: seventeen words. Minimum:one No semicolons. Semicolons indicate relationships that only idiots need defined by punctuation. Besides, they are ugly. Make sure each sentence is at least four words longer or shorter than the one before it.

  Richard Hugo

  Needs, Four, Ugly

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• Given that there are seven billion people living on this earth, there is a consistent quantity of imbecile or idiot, okay. Previously, these people could express themselves only with their friends or at the bar after two or three glasses of something, and they said every silliness, and people laughed. Now they have the possibility to show up on the internet. And so, on the internet, along with the messages of a lot of interesting and important people - even the Pope is writing on Twitter - we have a great quantity of idiots.

  Umberto Eco

  Writing, Two, Glasses

  Interview with Chris Wallace, www.interviewmagazine.com. November 2, 2015.

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• I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, "Dad's an idiot," which lasted a little longer than I'd like.

  Tim Allen

  Girl, Dad, Parent

  "Tim Allen Talks LAST MAN STANDING, Classic Sitcoms, Stand-Up, and the Future of the TOY STORY Series". Interview with Christina Radish, collider.com. April 3, 2012.

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• The great thing about doing physical comedy for film is that if it doesn't work you're not exposed. It ends up on the editing room floor, so it gives you a lot more room to experiment I guess. But I really enjoy doing it. I'm very comfortable tapping into my inner idiot.

  Isla Fisher

  Editing, Giving, Rooms

  "Isla Fisher Talks Confessions of a Shopaholic". Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment interview, movieweb.com. June 29, 2009.

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