Ireland, sir, for good or evil, is like no other place under heaven, and no man can touch its sod or breathe its air without becoming better or worse.
How would you know a Cork footballer? He's the one who thinks that oral sex is just talking about it.
What's the use of being Irish if you can't be thick?
God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.
I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same.
An Irishman can be worried by the consciousness that there is nothing to worry about.
When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step.
I was raised in an Irish-American home in Detroit where assimilation was the uppermost priority. The price of assimilation and respectability was amnesia. Although my great-grandparents were victims of the Great Hunger of the 1840's, even though I was named Thomas Emmet Hayden IV after the radical Irish nationalist exile Thomas Emmet, my inheritance was to be disinherited. My parents knew nothing of this past, or nothing worth passing on.
No person knows better than you do that the domination of England is the sole and blighting curse of this country. It is the incubus that sits on our energies, stops the pulsation of the nation's heart and leaves to Ireland not gay vitality but horrid the convulsions of a troubled dream.
If a man who can’t count finds a four leaf clover, is he lucky?
Beware of the man whose God is in the skies.
Ireland is a peculiar society in the sense that it was a nineteenth century society up to about 1970 and then it almost bypassed the twentieth century.
I was born on a storm-swept rock and hate the soft growth of sun-baked lands where there is no frost in men's bones.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?'
I think there's a bit of the devil in everybody. There's a bit of a priest in everybody, too, but I enjoyed playing the devil more. He was more fun.
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.
Put an Irishman on the spit and you can always get another Irishman to turn him.
Dublin university contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick.
Everything that we inherit, the rain, the skies, the speech, and anybody who works in the English language in Ireland knows that there's the dead ghost of Gaelic in the language we use and listen to and that those things will reflect our Irish identity.
I showed my appreciation of my native land in the usual Irish way: by getting out of it as soon as I possibly could.
The problem with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, but with absolutely no talent.
And the merry love the fiddle, and the merry love to dance.
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse.
When I get a very generous introduction like that I explain that I'm emotionally moved, but on the other hand I'm Irish and the Irish are very emotionally moved. My mother is Irish and she cries during beer commercials.
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