Mother Quotes - Page 18

• And I've always been paranoid. I can remember as a baby my mother would spin the mobile above my head and thinking..."yeah, that's coming down."

  Dennis Miller

  Baby, Thinking, Remember

  "Dennis Miller: Black and White". Comedy, www.imdb.com. 1990.

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• Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

  Red Buttons

  Girl, Dinner, Said

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• I was brought up Catholic. My mom brought us to mass every Sunday - short for 'massive head trauma' that you get from your mother punching you in your little nine-year-old head every minute because you can't sit still for anything that's boring.

  Richard Jeni

  Mom, Sunday, Years

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• Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!

  Red Buttons

  Dinner, Chairs, Monopoly

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• Steven Spielberg's mother, who said to E.T., I don't care where you're from, you're here and you're gonna get bar mitzvahed! Never got a dinner!

  Red Buttons

  Bars, Care, Dinner

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• It's my real name. My mother's name is Rose Rock. It was the worst name as a kid to have. They called me Piece of the Rock, Plymouth Rock, Joe Rockid, and Flintstones. Now they call me Mister Rock.

  Chris Rock

  Real, Kids, Names

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Sports, School, Fighting

  Jeff Foxworthy, David Boyd (2004). “You might be a redneck if--”, Rutledge Hill Pr

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• If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Kissing, Redneck, Might

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• I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Two, Wife, Bucks

  Rodney Dangerfield (2009). “It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs”, p.55, Zondervan

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• When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Names, Wife, Firsts

  Rodney Dangerfield (2009). “It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs”, p.168, Zondervan

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• When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Running, Respect, Home

  Rodney Dangerfield (2009). “It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs”, p.32, Zondervan

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• Sometimes my mother goes through my socks and underwear. I wouldn't mind, but it tickles so much!

  Emo Philips

  Mind, Underwear, Sometimes

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• My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She wears a 9x12.

  Phyllis Diller

  Law, Coats, Shops

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• Mother came to New York to keep house for me.

  Desi Arnaz

  New York, House

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• I will never understand how a mother can kill her own baby and not get away with it.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Baby, Get Away

  Twitter post from Jun 28, 2011

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• I always felt bad for Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa lived a whole life helping starving children and dying villages, but she could never be declared a saint 'cause she never actually performed a miracle. And it was towards the end, she was desperate to perform a miracle, so she would go up to starving children and go, 'What's that behind your ear? It's a quarter!

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Children, Miracle, Dying

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• I hang out with my dad mostly, my dad was in the military. He's at that age now where his war stories and other stories have blended together, so now you don't know what he's talking about. One time, we were surrounded, then we ran out of ammo, then we were fighting hand-to-hand, then we started dancing, and that's how I met your mother.

  Dave Attell

  Dad, Military, War

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• You know how Van Nuys got its name? Well, one day my little old Jewish mother was visiting me, and I took her to the top of the Hollywood Hills and had her view the valley below just at sunset. Well, mama, what would you call that? And she said, Ver nize.

  Joey Bishop

  Sunset, Names, Hollywood Hills

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• I can't change the past and I'm truly sorry that people got hurt along the way but not everything reported in the media is reality and continuing to rehash things publicly only makes it more difficult for everyone to heal. I hope for the sake of our children we can all move forward and heal privately. I wish their mother nothing but the best.

  Eddie Cibrian

  Hurt, Children, Sorry

  "Brandi Glanville Bonds With LeAnn Rimes Despite Eddie Cibrian Affair" by Benge Nsenduluka, www.christianpost.com. March 5, 2012.

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• I like being a mother. For some people, it's so much work that it can be a burden. But it's not for me, maybe because I had my daughter, Valentina, later on in life, at 41.

  Salma Hayek

  Daughter, People, Burden

  "Salma Hayek: My family values". Interview With Elaine Lipworth, www.theguardian.com. March 29, 2013.

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• [My mother is] a half-Chinese, half-Jamaican woman, who grew up the ninth of nine kids, getting a law degree from Harvard. Academically brilliant, but also incredibly strong-willed and ethical. My mother was like that, my sister is, and my wife is too.

  Harry Connick, Jr.

  Family, Strong, Kids

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• My mother would say, before I left the house, 'Remember Art, hugs are better than drugs.' And I believed my mother, I believed everything she said - until the first time I got high at a party. I leaned back, and I went, 'God, this is way better than when my Uncle Perry hugs me. What else has my mother been lying to me about?

  Artie Lange

  Art, Uncles, Lying

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• I am an immigrant in a sense. What happened was that my father was stationed in New York when my mother became pregnant, and she said, "I've got to go to Sweden so this child can be born there, because you don't have any idea where you're going to be transferred next."

  Claes Oldenburg

  New York, Children, Father

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• It was quite unusual to use the recorder as a concert instrument. But my mother, a pianist, actually helped me a lot by assuming that anything done on the piano can easily be done on the recorder! She helped me with technique and was just as critical about my playing as she was with her own. I think that has been one of my fortunes.

  Michala Petri

  Thinking, Piano, Technique

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• You can be a good mom and still work out, get your rest, have a career - or not. My mother encouraged me to find that balance.

  Michelle Obama

  Mom, Careers, Work Out

  "Michelle Obama’s tips for being happy, healthy". Interview with Liz Vaccariello, www.today.com. October 5, 2009.

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