One Liner Quotes

• I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

  Peter Kay

  Thinking, Animal, Ideas

  56 Copy quote

• I know I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?

  David Foster Wallace

  One Line, Enough, Paranoid

  50 Copy quote

• Bacteria: The only culture some people have.

  Hesiod

  People, Culture, Bacteria

  24 Copy quote

• A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

  Dan Chaon

  Hilarious, Peace, Tired

  Dan Chaon (2012). “Stay Awake: Stories”, p.59, Ballantine Books

  17 Copy quote

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• If you do not know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere

  Henry A. Kissinger

  Inspiring, Success, Baseball

  108 Copy quote

• A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

  Walter Winchell

  Friendship, Sympathy, True Friend

  Walter Winchell (1975). “Winchell exclusive: "things that happened to me--and me to them”

  67 Copy quote

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• Hold a true friend with both your hands.

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Friendship, Best Friend, True Friend

  43 Copy quote
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  A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Hilarious, Sarcastic

  Quoted in Alan Harrington, Life in the Crystal Palace (1959).

  267 Copy quote

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• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Success, Clever

  65 Copy quote

• If you don t know where you are, a map won't help.

  Watts Humphrey

  Baseball, Goals Dreams, Yankees

  Watts S. Humphrey (1989). “Managing the Software Process”, Addison-Wesley Professional

  30 Copy quote

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• It's hard to get lost if you don't know where you're going.

  Jim Jarmusch

  Baseball, Funny Motivational, Goals Dreams

  "His Films, His Way: Jim Jarmusch Is Still Figuring Out How to Do It". Interview with Marc Savlov, www.austinchronicle.com. October 20, 2000.

  35 Copy quote

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• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humorous, Ideas

  382 Copy quote

• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  95 Copy quote

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  If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

  Yogi Berra

  Inspirational, Funny, Success

  "Yogi Berra, baseball Hall of Famer and New York Yankees catcher, dies at 90" by Alan Evans, www.theguardian.com. September 23, 2015.

  79 Copy quote

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• If you don't know where you're going any road will do

  Lewis Carroll

  Baseball, Travel, Goals Dreams

  39 Copy quote

• A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

  Yogi Berra

  Funny, Baseball, Money

  Yogi Berra (1998). “The Yogi Book”, p.26, Workman Publishing

  27 Copy quote

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• If you don't know where you are currently standing, you're dead.

  Samuel Beckett

  Baseball, Goals Dreams, Yankees

  102 Copy quote

• Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

  Steven Wright

  People, Support, Culture

  36 Copy quote

• The idea of being a character who is kind of isolated, I can relate to that.

  Robin Williams

  Character, Ideas, One Line

  24 Copy quote
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  The willingness of America's veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting gratitude.

  Jeff Miller

  Thanksgiving, Country, Gratitude

  56 Copy quote

• It gave dirty politics a bad name.

  Bob Hope

  Dirty, Names, One Line

  4 Copy quote

• I can't just say the words, do a lot of one-liners. I love each person I play; I have to be that person. I have to do him true.

  Richard Pryor

  True Love, Play, Persons

  75 Copy quote

• The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves.

  Richard Bach

  Lying, Lies We Tell Ourselves, Denial

  10 Copy quote

• I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Money, America

  81 Copy quote

• I'm a comedian and there are a lot of things I'm still learning. I love one liners because I love smart jokes. I also don't like complaining about society or whining about my life on stage.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Smart, Comedian, Complaining

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. July 9, 2013.

  1 Copy quote

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