Pants Quotes - Page 25

• The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.

  Dana Gould

  Running, Sweat, Jogging

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• Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?

  Dana Gould

  Running, Sweat, Shoes

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• Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.

  Dana Gould

  Perfect, Pet, Noise

  FaceBook post by Dana Gould from Jun 27, 2013

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• You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.

  Dov Davidoff

  Girl, Home, People

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• Tight pants are just uncomfortable.

  Mark Twain

  Tight Pants, Uncomfortable

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• Somebody described it to me the best as when you go in to write a song with two people that you've never met, you're pretty much going in and taking off your pants in front of strangers, so it's a really weird feeling.

  Scotty McCreery

  Song, Writing, Two

  "Scotty McCreery on ‘See You Tonight,’ Brad Paisley and country lyrics". Interview with Melinda Newman, uproxx.com. October 17, 2013.

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• We segregate men from women, and no matter how many times we insist that men and women are equal, men and women should be treated the same, when it comes to the moment of excretion, even the most modern society - especially the most modern society - segregates two restrooms with little icons outside the doors, one wearing a dress, one wearing pants.

  W. J. T. Mitchell

  Men, Doors, Two

  Source: www.guernicamag.com

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• White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.

  Greg Proops

  Ice Cream, Two, White

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• Individual grievances and pet peeves have got to go by the wayside. Generally, you don't have to worry about the guys who are playing every day, it's the guys who are sitting on the bench that are the ones that get needles in their pants.

  Walter Alston

  Worry, Guy, Pet

  7 Copy quote

• You're trying to make someone wet their pants and you're trying to make somebody crap in their pants. That's the motivation of a comic. Who else has that power?

  J. B. Smoove

  Motivation, Trying, Comic

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• [A photograph] should do something to the beholder; either give a more complete appreciation of beauty, or, if nothing else, even a good mental kick in the pants.

  Paul Outerbridge

  Appreciation, Giving, Good Man

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• My mama never wore a pair of pants when I was growing up, and now that's all she wears. It was so funny for me when I first started seeing Mama wear pants. It was like it wasn't Mama. Now I've bought her many a pantsuit because she just lives in them.

  Dolly Parton

  Growing Up, Pairs, Firsts

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• When I was a kid in Eugene, Oregon, there was this fantastic guitar player who went out on the tables, chairs, out in the audience and played. So I started taking my guitar in the audience. I tripped, fell backwards and ripped my pants.

  Meredith Brooks

  Kids, Player, Guitar

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• Whatever I think, whatever I try to do, life might just turn around and... and hitch up its pants and throw me a twenty-dollar bill.

  Peter Milligan

  Thinking, Trying, Twenties

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• I have this rule: It's like, if you write an amazing, cool song that you mean and then you go put your leather pants on and sing it in front of people; that's OK. But if you put your leather pants on and stand in front of the mirror and go, "Ok, I've got to write a song to fit these pants," then you're in trouble.

  John Rzeznik

  Song, Writing, Mean

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• The fashion industry isn't merely content to encase my meaty flanks in skintight denim. Oh, no! That denim also has to be white, a color that attracts ketchup, wine, garlic aioli, and any other foodstuffs I might otherwise be able to enjoy if I wasn't wearing ridiculously tight pants.

  Diablo Cody

  Fashion, Wine, Color

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• I got a pair of red, synthetic satin women's pants through the post the other day with a phone number on. That was quite strange. I haven't tried the phone number. In times of stress I may.

  Jarvis Cocker

  Stress, Numbers, Phones

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• We only have one agenda, which is to make 'em laugh their pants off. Unless they are girls, of course, when it is to make them laugh their bras off so we can get a quick look.

  Ade Edmondson

  Girl, Laughing, Looks

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close - a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.

  Bette Midler

  Sex, Couple, Cadillacs

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• I love being a woman. You can cry. You get to wear pants now. If you're on a boat and it's going to sink, you get to go on the rescue boat first. You get to wear cute clothes. It must be a great thing, or so many men wouldn't be wanting to do it.

  Gilda Radner

  Cute, Women, Love Is

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• I will now make a scorpion appear in Osama bin Laden's pants

  David Copperfield

  Magic, Scorpions, Osama Bin Laden

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• I say, if you believe what you read in the comic strips, then you believe that mice run around with little gold buttons on their red pants and drive cars.

  Mort Walker

  Running, Believe, Car

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• The first time I walked into a library, I got so excited I almost wet my pants.

  Roy Blount, Jr.

  Library, Firsts, Excited

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• One of the most important things is to figure out what your look is — I don't wear this black suit-white shirt combination all the time to try and be iconic — but because I'm most comfortable in this. Cary Grant never turned up in a pink jacket and hot pants and I don't feel the need to experiment when I know I like dressing this way.

  Tom Ford

  White, Black, Important

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• If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.

  Greg Behrendt

  Sweaters, Fine, Cheetahs

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