Politics Funny Quotes

• A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Humorous, Next Week

  In B. Adler Churchill Wit (1965) p. 4

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  Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

  Groucho Marx

  Art, Freedom, Political Will

  202 Copy quote

• If you can't convince them, confuse them.

  Harry S. Truman

  Witty, Business, Silly

  Harry S. Truman, Steve Neal (2003). “Miracle of Forty-eight”, p.139, SIU Press

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  When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it.

  Clarence Darrow

  Funny, Sarcastic, Believe

  Quoted in Irving Stone, Clarence Darrow for the Defense (1941)

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  The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Trust, Witty

  Winston S. Churchill (2013). “Churchill By Himself”, p.1079, RosettaBooks

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• Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.

  John F. Kennedy

  Mom, Mother, Growing Up

  John F. Kennedy, Dominique Enright (2003). “The Wicked Wit of John F. Kennedy”, Michael O'Mara Books

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• We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

  Aesop

  Witty, Government, Political Will

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

  Doug Larson

  Change, Keys, Cities

  70 Copy quote

• A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

  Texas Guinan

  Funny, Life, Country

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  62 Copy quote

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• He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Sarcastic, Thinking, Careers

  Major Barbara (1907) act 3

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  The ballot is stronger than the bullet.

  Abraham Lincoln

  Freedom, Democracies Have, Presidential

  Speech, 19 May 1856

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• I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

  Charles de Gaulle

  Life, Political, Politics

  Quoted in Clement Attlee, A Prime Minister Remembers (1961) See Briand 2; Clemenceau 4

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• Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.

  Marion Barry

  Funny, Country, Crazy

  Quoted in Chicago Tribune, 28 Mar. 1989

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• One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

  Plato

  Plato, War, Government

  272 Copy quote

• Power is like being a lady... if you have to tell people you are, you aren't.

  Margaret Thatcher

  Leadership, Business, Women

  Margaret Thatcher, Iain Dale (1997). “As I said to Denis--: the Margaret Thatcher book of quotations”, Robson Book Ltd

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• Of the people, by the people, for the people.

  Sun Yat-sen

  4th Of July, Patriotic, Democracies Have

  122 Copy quote
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  Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!

  Pericles

  Inspirational, Trust, Witty

  "American Voters Suffer Learned Helplessness" by Andrea Chalupa, bigthink.com. September 7, 2012.

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• Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

  John Kenneth Galbraith

  Art, Freedom, Political

  "Don't blame Alistair Darling. He's just the brush and bucket" by Andrew Rawnsley, www.theguardian.com. July 19, 2008.

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• Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

  Robert Orben

  Humorous, Native American, Profound

  "They Said What?". Manly Daily, August 05, 2008.

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• In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well.

  Len Deighton

  Funny, Air, Lenses

  99 Copy quote

• A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Change, Business

  Winston Churchill (1987). “The Irrepressible Churchill: Stories, Sayings and Impressions of Sir Winston Churchill”, London : Robson Books

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• Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

  George W. Bush

  Country, Witty, Peace

  George W. Bush “Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States, George W. Bush, 2004, Book 2, July 1 to September 30, 2004”, Government Printing Office

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• If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

  Margaret Thatcher

  Inspirational, Funny, Wise

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  113 Copy quote

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• It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Witty, Stupid

  27 Copy quote

• I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Sarcastic, Witty

  In Saturday Review 25 Aug. 1962

  98 Copy quote

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