Tax Day Quotes

• Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.

  Herman Wouk

  Book, Income, Fiction

  46 Copy quote

• The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.

  Ronald Reagan

  Military, Work, Government

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  22 Copy quote

  Show source

• The power to tax is the power to destroy.

  John Marshall

  Inspirational, Taxation, Libertarian

  John Marshall, Joseph Potter Cotton (2000). “The Constitutional Decisions of John Marshall”, p.338, The Lawbook Exchange, Ltd.

  66 Copy quote

  Show source

• The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

  Will Rogers

  Death, Government, Political Will

  56 Copy quote

• We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

  Winston Churchill

  Freedom, Humor, Men

  Winston S. Churchill “Young Statesman”

  157 Copy quote

  Show source

• If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

  Will Rogers

  Government, Years, Pockets

  Will Rogers, Steven K. Gragert, M. Jane Johansson (2001). “The Papers of Will Rogers: From vaudeville to Broadway : September 1908-August 1915”, p.331, University of Oklahoma Press

  80 Copy quote

  Show source

• The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

  Mark Twain

  Business, Inspiration, Humor

  20 Copy quote

• What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Money, Differences

  Notebook, Dec. 1902

  12 Copy quote

  Show source

• I like to pay taxes. With them, I buy civilization.

  Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

  Civilization, Paying Taxes, Taxation

  "If we want a civilised society, charities can't fill the void left by government" by Debbie Chachra, www.theguardian.com. October 8, 2013.

  80 Copy quote

  Show source

• Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

  Ronald Reagan

  Freedom, Military, Moving

  Remarks to state chairs of National White House Conference on Small Business, 15 Aug. 1986

  65 Copy quote

  Show source

• There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Men, Thinking, Political

  "The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress". Novel by Robert A. Heinlein, 1966.

  38 Copy quote

  Show source

• I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.

  Mark Twain

  House, Taxes, Profanity

  Mark Twain, Milton Meltzer (2002). “Mark Twain Himself: A Pictorial Biography”, p.127, University of Missouri Press

  6 Copy quote

  Show source
• 

  Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.

  Calvin Coolidge

  Presidential, Liberty, Taxation

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  86 Copy quote

  Show source

• The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.

  Barry Goldwater

  Government, Political, Criminals

  17 Copy quote

• Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Missing You, Strong, Drinking

  Robert A. Heinlein (1987). “Time Enough for Love”, p.325, Penguin

  49 Copy quote

  Show source

• It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for.

  Will Rogers

  Government, Taxes Funny, Pay

  6 Copy quote

• Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

  H. L. Mencken

  Humorous, Average, America

  10 Copy quote

• America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

  Laurence J. Peter

  Land, America, Taxation

  Dr. Laurence J. Peter (2013). “Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Times”, p.46, Harper Collins

  11 Copy quote

  Show source

• Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag

  Jay Leno

  Red Flags, Taxes Funny, Example

  51 Copy quote

• Taxes are paid in the sweat of every man who labors.

  Franklin D. Roosevelt

  Men, Sweat, Paying Taxes

  Roosevelt, Franklin D. (1941). “Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: F.D. Roosevelt, 1937, Volume 6”, p.798, Best Books on

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

  Douglas Adams

  Money, Funny Life, Years

  8 Copy quote

• The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

  Paula Poundstone

  Funny, Time, Taken

  20 Copy quote

• When there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income.

  Plato

  Inspirational, Plato, Men

  Plato (1977). “The Portable Plato”, p.185, Penguin

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward.

  John Maynard Keynes

  Funny, Business, Humor

  "A Dictionary of Scientific Quotations" by Alan L. MacKay, (p. 140), 1977.

  25 Copy quote

  Show source

• It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta

  Dave Barry

  Income, Irs, Taxation

  10 Copy quote