Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.
The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.
The power to tax is the power to destroy.
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
I like to pay taxes. With them, I buy civilization.
Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.
I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.
Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.
The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for.
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.
Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag
Taxes are paid in the sweat of every man who labors.
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
When there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income.
The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward.
It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta
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