Funny Money Quotes

• Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the 'gotta have it' scale.

  Zig Ziglar

  Life, Inspiring, Success

  FaceBook post by Zig Ziglar from Feb 07, 2014

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• If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Witty, Money

  New Yorker, 5 Nov. 1973

  57 Copy quote

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• If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

  J. Paul Getty

  Money, Powerful, Business

  "The Great Getty". Book by Robert Lenzner, 1985.

  34 Copy quote

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• Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Life, Hilarious

  223 Copy quote

• Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.

  Arnold Schwarzenegger

  Funny, Motivational Sports, Money

  "Schwarzenegger elected governor, Oct. 7, 2003" by Andrew Glass, www.politico.com. October 7, 2009.

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• Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.

  Bo Derek

  Funny, Fashion, Money

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  88 Copy quote

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• You can be young without money but you can't be old without it.

  Tennessee Williams

  Funny, Life, Motivational

  Tennessee Williams (2004). “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”, p.55, New Directions Publishing

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• Money is like manure; it’s not worth a thing unless it’s spread around.

  Brooke Astor

  Money, Humorous, Worthy

  23 Copy quote

• Money talks, bullshit walks.

  Stephen King

  Money, Talking, Bullshit

  Stephen King (2008). “Duma Key: A Novel”, p.106, Simon and Schuster

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• It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich.

  Alan Alda

  Funny, Happiness, Money

  15 Copy quote

• Money won't make you happy... but everybody wants to find out for themselves.

  Zig Ziglar

  Love, Family, Happiness

  FaceBook post by Zig Ziglar from Jul 24, 2014

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• Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

  Jackie Mason

  Love, Funny, Inspiring

  297 Copy quote

• Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.

  H. L. Mencken

  Funny, Money, Husband

  8 Copy quote

• Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

  George Burns

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  45 Copy quote

• I'm so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn't understand, she had to explain: 'That's like three Mercedes.' Then I understood.

  Brooke Shields

  Funny, Mother, Money

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Money doesn't change you; it reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice.

  Tim Ferriss

  Nice, Being Nice, Who You Are

  33 Copy quote

• Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Life, Positive

  169 Copy quote

• Somebody said to me, 'But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.' That's a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, 'Now, let's write a swimming pool.'

  Paul McCartney

  Funny, Money, Writing

  "Paul McCartney: One for the Road". Interview with David Fricke, www.rollingstone.com. February 08, 1990.

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• Money is like manure; it's not worth a thing unless it's spread around encouraging young things to grow.

  Thornton Wilder

  Encouraging, Money, Humorous

  "The Matchmaker". Play by Thornton Wilder. Act 4, 1957.

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• 

  This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

  Earl Wilson

  Love, Couple, Debt Free

  94 Copy quote

• A bank book makes good reading - better than some novels.

  Sir Harry Lauder

  Money, Book, Reading

  6 Copy quote

• Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Hilarious, Men

  54 Copy quote

• Dogs have no money. Isn't that amazing? They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Funny, Inspiring, Dog

  19 Copy quote

• The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

  Kin Hubbard

  Inspirational, Funny, Money

  85 Copy quote

• A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Sarcastic, Money

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  341 Copy quote

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