Funny Money Quotes - Page 5

• A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.

  Michael Douglas

  Money, Stupid, Greed

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• The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love

  Joe Louis

  Love, Funny, Witty

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• A man in love is like a clipped coupon - it's time to cash in.

  Mae West

  Love, Money, Men

  Mae West (1967). “The wit and wisdom of Mae West”

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• I love America, but I can't spend the whole year here. I can't afford the taxes.

  Mick Jagger

  Years, America, Taxes

  "Time is on our side: A look back at the Rolling Stones". www.interviewmagazine.com. September 21, 2012.

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• A fool and her money are soon courted.

  Helen Rowland

  Funny, Money, Fool

  Irvin S. Cobb, Mary Roberts Rinehart, Helen Rowland, Richard Saunders (2017). “We Should All Be So Feminine: We Should All Be a Feminist: We Should All Be Feminists”, p.43, Lulu.com

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• If you're given a choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal.

  Katharine Hepburn

  Money, Sex, Choices

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• What's worth doing is worth doing for money.

  Michael Douglas

  Money, Street Life, Greed Is Good

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• Sex is like money; only too much is enough.

  John Updike

  Sex, Too Much, Enough

  1968 Couples, ch.5.

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• The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people

  Eddie Murphy

  Money, Hurt, People

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• You fool! You're 30 cents away from having a quarter!

  Robin Harris

  Money, Fool, Quarters

  "Fictional character: Sweet Dick Willie". "Do the Right Thing", www.imdb.com. 1989.

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• Money's only something you need in case you don't die tomorrow.

  Martin Sheen

  Money, Needs, Tomorrow

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• A fool and his money are soon invited everywhere.

  Warren Buffett

  Money, Italian, Taxes Funny

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• Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.

  Helen Gurley Brown

  Funny, Inspiring, Money

  "Helen Gurley Brown on Money, Sex and Having It All" by Seth Abramovitch, www.hollywoodreporter.com. August 13, 2012.

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• I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Money, Winning

  64 Copy quote

• Money without brains is always dangerous.

  Napoleon Hill

  Money, Brain, Wealth

  Napoleon Hill, Wallace D. Wattles (2012). “Get Rich Collection”, p.99, Penguin

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• What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank?

  Bertolt Brecht

  Robbing, Founding

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• This planet has — or rather had — a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time.

  Douglas Adams

  You Make Me Happy, People, Unhappy

  Douglas Adams (2009). “The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy”, p.8, Pan Macmillan

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• I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Change, Money

  George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

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• If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Inspiring, Money

  Benjamin Franklin (1848). “The Way to Wealth”, p.4

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• Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Inspiring, Money

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• My son has a big Christmas problem - what do you buy for a father who has everything and you're using it?

  Milton Berle

  Funny, Christmas, Money

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• A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction.

  Mae West

  Funny, Money, Math

  1940 Line spoken in My Little Chickadee.

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• Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list

  Milton Berle

  Christmas, Years, Eight

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• First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

  Matt Groening

  Money, Montana, Sugar

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• A fool and his money are soon partying.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Money, Party

  9 Copy quote