Waiter Quotes - Page 3

• There is an army of waiters in this world.

  Henry Ward Beecher

  Army, Waiting, World

  Henry Ward Beecher (1868). “Norwood: Or, Village Life in New England”, p.169

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• I own the restaurant. There are a lot of cooks, waiters and waitresses in this restaurant. They worry about their problems. I worry about all the problems.

  Mack Brown

  Worry, Problem, Waitress

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• The waiters in France could all be senators in the US.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, France

  Twitter post from Jan 19, 2012

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• I went into a restaurant one night and ordered lobster, and the waiter brought me one with a claw missing. I called him over and told him about it. He told me that in the back there's a tank they keep the lobsters in and while they're in there, they fight and sometimes one loses a claw. I told him 'then bring me a winner.'

  Al McGuire

  Fighting, Night, Missing

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• Rhoda comes now, having slipped in while we were not looking. She must have made a tortuous course, taking cover now behind a waiter, now behind some ornamental pillar, so as to put off as long as possible the shock of recognition, so as to be secure for one more moment to rock her petals in her basin. We wake her. We torture her. She dreads us, she despises us, yet she comes cringing to our sides because for al our cruelty there is always some name, some face which sheds a radiance, which lights up her pavements and makes it possible for her to replenish her dreams.

  Virginia Woolf

  Dream, Light, Rocks

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• At present every coachman and every waiter argues about whether or not the relativity theory is correct.

  Albert Einstein

  Arguing, Theory, Relativity

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• Those who write are writers. Those who wait are waiters.

  A. Lee Martinez

  Writing, Waiting, Those Who Wait

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• Hold the newsreader's nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers.

  Stephen Fry

  Friendly, Noses, Milk

  "A Bit of Fry and Laurie". TV Series, www.imdb.com. 1987-1995.

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• If you're a waiter and you're waiting on me, you might get five percent, you might get seventy percent. It depends on how bad my math skills are that day.

  Kelly Ripa

  Math, Skills, Waiting

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• People who treat waitresses or waiters rudely - or taxi drivers - I have very little tolerance for those people. They work really hard. They deserve courtesy and respect.

  Chloe Sevigny

  People, Tolerance, Courtesy

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• New York City is like the appetizer table at a Jewish wedding, loaded with salt and spice and cholesterol and flavor, with a waiter holding out pleasure in his right hand and indigestion in his left. If you've got the bucks, this burg has the bangs.

  Leonore Fleischer

  New York, Hands, Cities

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• Insanity hovered close at hand, like an eager waiter at an expensive restaurant.

  Arundhati Roy

  Hands, Insanity, Restaurants

  Arundhati Roy (2002). “The God of Small Things”, p.207, Penguin Books India

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• I worked at Starbucks, I was a waiter, a bartender and a valet, sometimes working 2 to 3 jobs at a time while getting a lot of 'no's' as an actor.

  Andrea Hall

  Jobs, Actors, Sometimes

  Source: lasentinel.net

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• There was so much going on. I remember a very interesting dinner in the studio of [Robert] Rauschenberg. He had convinced Sidney Janis, Leo Castelli, and a third big gallery man to serve us, the artists, at the table. So they were dressed up as waiters, we were sitting at the table, and they were only allowed to sit down at the end of the table for the cognac. This is not possible now.

  Erro

  Men, Artist, Interesting

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• ...the waiter has to come from a place of concentration, subjugation, and complete, limitless service. Nothing is too much trouble. The customer is always right, even when he is wrong. There is no limit to what you will do to serve while that person is in your bar and in your care.

  Stuart Wilde

  Giving, Bars, Care

  Stuart Wilde (1998). “The Trick to Money is Having Some”, p.109, Hay House, Inc

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• Mexico admits you through an arched stone orifice into the tree-filled courtyard of its heart, where a dog pisses against a wall and a waiter hustles through a curtain of jasmine to bring a bowl of tortilla soup, steaming with cilantro and lime. Cats stalk lizards among the clay pots around the fountain, doves settle into the flowering vines and coo their prayers, thankful for the existence of lizards. The potted plants silently exhale, outgrowing their clay pots. Like Mexico's children they stand pinched and patient in last year's too-small shoes.

  Barbara Kingsolver

  Dog, Prayer, Children

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• I don't trust valets, waiters - nobody. I don't waste my time anymore trying to figure out who leaks things to the press.

  Nicole Richie

  Trying, Waste, Wasting My Time

  UK Marie Claire Interview, www.alloy.com. August 2007.

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• Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them; they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Fun, School, Cutting

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• I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right.

  Todd Barry

  Mean, Errors, Logic

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• The waiter approached. 'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?' 'Huh?' said Ford. 'Huh?' said Arthur. 'Huh?' said Trillian. 'That’s cool,' said Zaphod. 'We'll meet the meat.

  Douglas Adams

  Meat, Arthur, Dishes

  Douglas Adams (2008). “The Restaurant at the End of the Universe”, p.111, Del Rey

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• I have been working since I was 20, and I'm 38. I actually once averaged out what I had made over my professional life. I think I could have made that much as a waiter or an insurance salesman. You know, I spent so many years in my 20's making $10,000 a year.

  Sebastian Junger

  Thinking, Years, Made

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• Artemis: "Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre." Myles: "In Paris." Artemis: "Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?" Beckett: "Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?" Myles: "I agree with simple-toon." Artemis: "No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'" Beckett: "Itchy what?

  Eoin Colfer

  Brother, Simple, Paris

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• I've never had to get a job as a waiter or anything. I've always been able to support myself in 'the biz.' Which is great. It's really fantastic to be able to say that, because I know it's hard to do.

  Paul Feig

  Jobs, Support, Able

  "Interview With Freaks And Geeks Creator Paul Feig (Part 1 Of 3)". Interview with Kenneth Plume, www.ign.com. February 10, 2000.

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• I like L.A. It's like a mini break. For a writer, it's hilarious. Like the food. Where I come from, we eat chip sandwiches: white bread, butter, tomato catsup and big fat french fries. It's delicious. Here, you order a creme caramel and the waiter says, 'You know, that contains dairy.

  Helen Fielding

  Order, White, Tomatoes

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• Foreign diplomats could have modeled their conduct on the way the Negro postmen, Pullman porters, and dining car waiters of Roxbury [Massachusetts] acted, striding around as if they were wearing top hats and cutaways.

  Malcolm X

  Car, Dining, Massachusetts

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