Waiter Quotes - Page 7

• I don't think you should be allowed to eat in a restaurant if you haven't waited tables at least once. It's so irritating when I see people being rude to waiters, like, it makes me want to slit their throats! Like, really? You're really this inconsiderate?

  Lizzy Caplan

  Thinking, People, Rude

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• For the world is broken, sundered, busted down the middle, self ripped from self and man pasted back together as mythical monster, half angel, half beast, but no man...Some day a man will walk into my office as a ghost or beast or ghost-beast and walk out as a man, which is to say sovereign wanderer, lordly exile, worker and waiter and watcher.

  Walker Percy

  Angel, Men, Self

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• A bit of theory as we settle down for lunch: the waiter's treatment of Kitty is actually a kind of sandwich, with the bottom bread being the bored and slightly effete way he normally acts with customers, the middle being the crazed and abnormal way he feels around this famous nineteen-year-old girl, and the top bread being his attempt to contain and conceal this alien middle layer with some mode of behavior that at least approximates the bottom layer of boredom and effeteness that is his norm.

  Jennifer Egan

  Girl, Years, Lunch

  Jennifer Egan (2010). “A Visit from the Goon Squad”, p.128, Anchor

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• When I talk about my husband, I feel as if people roll their eyes. It's like when you're 16 and order a martini, and the waiter says, 'Do you think I'm stupid?'. They can't grasp that I'm old enough to be married.

  Megan Fox

  Husband, Stupid, Eye

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Now, if you are like me - if you are like practically anybody in America - then you probably hold some negative opinions about the French, based upon movies, rumors, recent headlines, unfortunate run-ins with Parisian waiters, or... you know... all that unpleasantness surrounding the Vichy regime.

  Elizabeth Gilbert

  Running, America, Rumor

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• Eating reveals the characteristic grossness of the human race and also the in-built failure of its satisfactions. We arrive eager, we stuff ourselves and we go away depressed and disappointed and probably feeling a bit queasy into the bargain. It's an image of the déçu in human existence. A greedy start and a stupefied finish. Waiters, who are constantly observing this cycle, must be the most disillusioned of men.

  Iris Murdoch

  Men, Race, Feelings

  Iris Murdoch (2001). “A Fairly Honourable Defeat”, p.209, Penguin

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• Evil is unspectacular and always human, and shares our bed and eats at our own table.

  W. H. Auden

  Evil, Bed, Tables

  "Herman Melville" l. 17 (1939)

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• Worship is first and foremost a feasting on all that God is for us in Jesus... [One] in which God is the host, the cook, the waiter, and the meal itself.

  Sam Storms

  Jesus, Meals, Firsts

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• I went to a restaurant the other day called 'Taste of the Raj.' The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system.

  Harry Hill

  Taste, Sticks, Complicated

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• If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

  Jay Mohr

  Legs, Waitress, Gratuity

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• In L.A., the waiters think they're stars. Everybody's always trying to pretend that they see stars every day, so there tends to be a false blas' about celebrity sightings in L.A. In some ways, that's a good thing, because it allows you to walk around.

  Jaleel White

  Thinking, Trying, Good Things

  Source: aalbc.com

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• I'm a kid from Minnesota. I like seeing movie stars! So I'm there at The ivy, I've got my shrimp, Eddie Murphy comes in with his gang. I said to the waiter, as any good Midwestern boy would, "Hey, put Eddie's check on my American Express card, but don't tell him that I did it 'til I'm gone." Next day I got a call from manager who said, "Eddie's doing a movie, he was very impressed that you bought him lunch." So remember: sometimes buying people lunch can really work out well for you.

  Louie Anderson

  Kids, Boys, People

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• I have been in countries where I don't know a word of the language. I tried to practice my French as much as possible. I would talk with the crew. I always order in French, but then waiters respond in English. I hate that.

  Kevin Kline

  Country, Hate, Order

  Source: www.sfgate.com

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• The waiter just flashed me something that said, "Chew bubblegum." Every morning, when I was about to go to the Oprah competition, my friend used to say this line in a video game to me: "It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum." There's a strict policy that you can't encourage anyone on a reality show, that would give them an edge.

  Zach Anner

  Morning, Reality, Games

  Source: abilitymagazine.com

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• The really good thing about my career is that I never went through a phase where I played characters who had names like "Partygoer," "Waiter," or "Guy #1."

  Rob Lowe

  Character, Careers, Names

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• I was an actor in college and it was much easier than being a waiter. I thought it was fun to get paid. People were not exactly surprised to see me going in the field.

  Dom Irrera

  Fun, College, People

  "Dom Irrera Dominating Stand-Up". Interview with AskMen, www.askmen.com.

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• People who are rude to waiters... I don't like that sort of thing. People who take cuts in line... it doesn't fly!

  Michelle Pfeiffer

  Cutting, People, Rude

  Source: www.indielondon.co.uk

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• Tipping generally changes depending on where you are in the world. In Britain you don't always have to tip, but I always make sure I do. I have a lot of respect for waiters and waitresses - it can't be an easy job and they often don't get paid huge amounts, so I think it's important to reward them and let them know if they are giving great service.

  Andy Murray

  Jobs, Thinking, Giving

  Source: www.telegraph.co.uk

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• I wanna try being a waiter at restaurant or work to introduce Korea to other people!

  Seungri

  Korea, People, Trying

  Source: fyeahseungri.com

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• I feel very uncomfortable when I eat in restaurants. I'm obnoxiously polite with the waiters: 'I just want a tuna sandwich. I'll go get it. You sit here - I'll get it, I'll make it.

  Dana Gould

  Tuna, Sandwiches, Want

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• Donald Trump claims - he did interview after the debate where he said, well, gosh, you can't find Americans to do these jobs to be waiters or waitresses or bellhops.What ridiculous nonsense. "The New York Times" reported roughly 300 Americans applied for those jobs. He only hired 17. Instead, he brought in foreign workers, because they're captive workers, because you can pay them less because they can't leave.

  Ted Cruz

  Jobs, New York, Pay

  "Face the Nation" with John Dickerson, www.cbsnews.com. February 28, 2016.

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• Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the one who brings your food anymore? What is THAT about? And which waiter are you tipping, anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be along shortly."

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Sorry, Thinking, Order

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• Italy is good in the sense that when you bring a child to a restaurant in Italy, they're happy to see it. The waiters will say "complimenti" and welcome you and dote after the kid. They don't treat you like you just brought in this horrible probably soon-to-be-squealing creature who's going to be difficult.

  Anthony Bourdain

  Children, Kids, Welcome

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• He thinks he is a flower to be looked at And when he pulls his frilly nylon pants right up tight He feels a dedicated follower of fashion. When a waiter at Buckingham Palace spilled soup on her dress: Never darken my Dior again!

  Ray Davies

  Fashion, Flower, Thinking

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• [To waiter who had spilled soup on her:] Never darken my Dior again!

  Beatrice Lillie

  Dior, Soup

  Quoted in Lore and Maurice Cowan, The Wit of Women (1969)

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