Waiter Quotes - Page 7

• I'm almost 40, so it's an awkward time in my career. You kind of hope it comes through and, if not, I'll be a waiter. Awesome.

  Matthew Lillard

  Careers, Awkward, Kind

  "EXCLUSIVE: Matthew Lillard Puts His Improv Chops on Display". Interview with Brian Gallagher, movieweb.com. November 6, 2009.

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• I first understood the changes that were necessary in this world, because the waiters in the restaurant, when I cried, used to say, "Leave her on the hillside to die. She's only a girl baby." I think they said it somewhat as a joke, maybe not, but it made me understand that being born female in this world was very different from being born male.

  Grace Lee Boggs

  Girl, Baby, Thinking

  "VIDEO: Legendary Detroit Activist Grace Lee Boggs Turns 100; Watch Never-Before-Aired Interview". Interview with Amy Goodman, www.democracynow.org. June 27, 2015.

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• Eight years ago, I was a waiter, and I didn't have a pot to piss in. And now...? It's like I said to my wife: I love the fact that, if I was in a restaurant and Steven Spielberg walked in, I could go up to him and say, 'Hey, mate, how are you?' I think that's pretty amazing, actually.

  Nick Frost

  Thinking, Eight, Years

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• The Englishman foxtrots as he fox-hunts, with all his being, through thickets, through ditches, over hedges, through chiffons, through waiters, over saxophones, to the victorious finish; and who goes home depends on how many the ambulance will accommodate.

  Edna St. Vincent Millay

  Home, Saxophone, Foxes

  Edna St. Vincent Millay (1924). “Distressing dialogues”

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• I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's not funny now if I leave the table and give the waiter a nickel tip, which was a laugh years ago. Today I must maneuver it so that somehow I get the waiter to give me a nickel tip.

  Jack Benny

  Order, Years, Giving

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• I got my first break and became a singing waiter at eighteen or nineteen. I couldn't make a living at it. I quit. Then I got married and sold aluminum siding. My wife had problems physically. It was not good.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Wife, Singing, Nineteen

  "Rodney Dangerfield: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

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• Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?

  Don Rickles

  Kings, Thinking, Cells

  "What I've Learned: Don Rickles". Interview with Mike Sager, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

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• I met my first midget in Mexico, and he was a waiter with a sombrero on his head, filled with chips and salsa. Like I was gonna let that guy get away - I don't think so.

  Chelsea Handler

  Thinking, Guy, Firsts

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• I was an actor in college and it was much easier than being a waiter. I thought it was fun to get paid. People were not exactly surprised to see me going in the field.

  Dom Irrera

  Fun, College, People

  "Dom Irrera Dominating Stand-Up". Interview with AskMen, www.askmen.com.

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• People who are rude to waiters... I don't like that sort of thing. People who take cuts in line... it doesn't fly!

  Michelle Pfeiffer

  Cutting, People, Rude

  Source: www.indielondon.co.uk

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• Italy is good in the sense that when you bring a child to a restaurant in Italy, they're happy to see it. The waiters will say "complimenti" and welcome you and dote after the kid. They don't treat you like you just brought in this horrible probably soon-to-be-squealing creature who's going to be difficult.

  Anthony Bourdain

  Children, Kids, Welcome

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• [To waiter who had spilled soup on her:] Never darken my Dior again!

  Beatrice Lillie

  Dior, Soup

  Quoted in Lore and Maurice Cowan, The Wit of Women (1969)

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• He thinks he is a flower to be looked at And when he pulls his frilly nylon pants right up tight He feels a dedicated follower of fashion. When a waiter at Buckingham Palace spilled soup on her dress: Never darken my Dior again!

  Ray Davies

  Fashion, Flower, Thinking

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• I was an amazing bartender and a great waiter. I think, in a way, that was my acting school.

  Nick Frost

  School, Thinking, Acting

  Interview with Ken Plume, asitecalledfred.com. September 2005.

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• I left school at 16 and skipped university to work, initially as a waiter. I think I missed out on what would have been great years.

  Peter Mayle

  School, Thinking, Years

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• Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the one who brings your food anymore? What is THAT about? And which waiter are you tipping, anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be along shortly."

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Sorry, Thinking, Order

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• I went to a restaurant the other day called 'Taste of the Raj.' The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system.

  Harry Hill

  Taste, Sticks, Complicated

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• In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.

  Quentin Crisp

  Manhattan, Actors, Surface

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• Tipping generally changes depending on where you are in the world. In Britain you don't always have to tip, but I always make sure I do. I have a lot of respect for waiters and waitresses - it can't be an easy job and they often don't get paid huge amounts, so I think it's important to reward them and let them know if they are giving great service.

  Andy Murray

  Jobs, Thinking, Giving

  Source: www.telegraph.co.uk

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• It is not strange that some of our revoltes preach trial marriage: for the only safe way to marry them at all would be on trial. Until you had definitely experienced all the human situations with them, you would have no means of knowing how, in any given situation, they would behave. They might conform about evening-dress, and throw plates between courses; they might be charming to your friends, and ask the waiter to sit down and finish dinner with you. Or they might in all things, little and big, be irreproachable. The point is that you would never know.

  Katharine Fullerton Gerould

  Marriage, Mean, Knowing

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• New York waiters, probably the surliest in the Western world . . . are better images of their city than that journalistic favorite the taxi driver.

  Alan Brien

  New York, Food, Cities

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• One of the first speaking roles I had was in a film called 'Svengali', with Peter O'Toole and Elizabeth Ashley. I was a waiter, and I had about three lines. And I was ready! I had been around people like that, and I knew they were just actors. All the work I had done, it was all there, and I felt like I knew all the mechanics.

  Tobin Bell

  Svengali, People, Roles

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• But compared with the task of selecting a piece of French pastry held by an impatient waiter a move in chess is like reaching for a salary check in its demand on the contemplative faculties.

  Robert Benchley

  Moving, Salary, Tasks

  Robert Benchley (1976). “Chips Off the Old Benchley”, Amereon Limited

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• The service in L.A. is the best. You don't get sarcastic, surly, fed-up waiters and waitresses like you do in England. They're good at their job and they're there for the customer. The only depressing thing is a lot of them have written more screenplays than me.

  Ricky Gervais

  Sarcastic, Depressing, Jobs

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• If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

  Jay Mohr

  Legs, Waitress, Gratuity

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