Waiter Quotes

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  A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

  Dave Barry

  Inspirational, Motivational, Respect

  Dave Barry (1998). “Dave Barry Turns 50”, Crown

  118 Copy quote

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• I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food

  Zach Galifianakis

  Feelings, Arriving, Imagine

  6 Copy quote

• When I was a waiter, I wanted to be the best waiter I could be and worked to be better at it every day.

  Robert Herjavec

  Being The Best, Wanted

  "Ask an Expert: 'Shark Tank' judge on being an entrepreneur". Interview with Steve Strauss, www.usatoday.com. February 24, 2012.

  13 Copy quote

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• When you find a waiter who is a waiter and not an actor, writer, musician or poet, you've found a jewel.

  Andre Soltner

  Food, Jewels, Cooking

  10 Copy quote

• ...the waiters carried themselves with a quiet joy, as if their entire mission in life was to make their customers feel comfortable and well tended.

  Julia Child

  Joy, Quiet, Missions

  Julia Child, Alex Prud'homme (2006). “My Life in France”, p.17, Anchor

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• The best number for a dinner party is two; myself and a damn good head waiter.

  Nubar Gulbenkian

  Party, Food, Two

  16 Copy quote

• How someone treats a waiter or doorman can tell you so much about a person.

  Austin Butler

  Treats, Persons

  "Austin Butler, ‘Carrie Diaries’ Star: ‘I Was Rebellious And A Mess Of A Person’" by Erin Clements, www.huffingtonpost.com. March 1, 2013.

  10 Copy quote

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• I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'

  Phyllis Diller

  Food, Three, Milk

  12 Copy quote

• If you wait for inspiration to write you're not a writer, you're a waiter.

  Dan Poynter

  Inspiration, Writing, Waiting

  51 Copy quote

• It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.

  Don Herold

  Life, Serious, Good Things

  Don Herold (1930). “Strange Bedfellows: My Crazy-quilt Memoirs, Life-maxims and What-not”

  7 Copy quote

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• Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Humor, Caring

  6 Copy quote

• God finally caught his eye.

  George S. Kaufman

  Eye, His Eyes, Caught

  53 Copy quote

• Waiters will always pee in soup, people will always fall in love.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Falling In Love, People, Soup

  4 Copy quote

• We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.

  Eddie Izzard

  Hunters, Has Beens

  9 Copy quote

• For we have come by different ways to this place... I can tell by the natural ease with which you wear fine clothes and the way your mouth moves when you speak with waiters in good restaurants. You have come the way of castles and cathedrals, of elegance and empire.

  Robert James Waller

  Karma, Moving, Clothes

  15 Copy quote

• I have tipped waiters, and I have been tipped by waiters.

  George Orwell

  Has Beens

  George Orwell (2012). “Down and Out in Paris and London”, p.17, Lulu.com

  6 Copy quote

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• Feeling prosperous means paying your utility bills on time and with a smile on your face. Prosperity means not only giving to the homeless person, but having a smile on your face when you do it. Prosperity also means buying fresh produce with a smile on your face instead of buying day-old bread or bargain overripe fruit with a scowl on your face. Still more, being prosperous means tipping generously with a smile on your face when the waiter has given you great service instead of trying to stiff him with a mere percent, or worse, no tip at all.

  Ernie J Zelinski

  Mean, Giving, Feelings

  5 Copy quote

• There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again.

  Bill Bryson

  Home, Phones, House

  1989 The Lost Continent, ch.2.

  11 Copy quote

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• When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."

  Henny Youngman

  Giving, Tables, Restaurants

  21 Copy quote

• All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around.

  Jay Leno

  Waitress, Situation, Turns

  "Seinfeld, Cosby Stand Up for Twin Towers Fund", abcnews.go.com.

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• Enchantment can be done with writing but I think enchantment is basically a prospective or an operating system for life. That you can enchant a person who is assigning your airplane seat, your hotel room, your waiter, your waitress.

  Guy Kawasaki

  Writing, Airplane, Thinking

  "Guy Kawasaki Interview on His Latest Book - APE". Interview with helen Nesterenko, writtent.com. January 11, 2013.

  6 Copy quote

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• I don't like Switzerland; it has produced nothing but theologians and waiters.

  Oscar Wilde

  Switzerland, Theologian

  Oscar Wilde (2007). “Epigrams of Oscar Wilde”, p.136, Wordsworth Editions

  6 Copy quote

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• With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Birthday, Men, Wife

  Rodney Dangerfield (2009). “It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs”, p.34, Zondervan

  6 Copy quote

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• A man needs to be polite, not just to me but to everyone. I watch that. How does he treat the waiter? How does he treat the coat-check girl? How does he treat the driver?

  Adriana Lima

  Girl, Men, Coats

  15 Copy quote

• I'm an assistant storyteller. It's like being a waiter or a gas-station attendant, but I'm waiting on six million people a week, if I'm lucky.

  Jane Fonda

  People, Waiting, Gas Stations

  12 Copy quote