Wit Quotes - Page 2

• The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Inspirational, Funny, Science

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• From Lucifer to Jerry Sneak there is not an aspect of evil, imperfection, and littleness which can elude the lights of humor or the lightning of wit.

  Edwin Percy Whipple

  Light, Evil, Imperfection

  Edwin Percy Whipple (1859). “Lectures on Subjects Connected with Literature and Life”, p.125

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• I cannot imagine why we should be at the expense to furnish wit for succeeding ages, when the former have made no sort of provision for ours.

  Jonathan Swift

  Age, Succeed, Imagine

  Jonathan Swift, Thomas Roscoe (1859). “The works of Jonathan Swift, D.D.: with copious notes and additions and a memoir of the author”, p.273

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• I soon found that wit, like every other power, has its boundaries; that its success depends upon the aptitude of others to receive impressions; and that as some bodies, indissoluble by heat, can set the furnace and crucible at defiance, there are min

  Samuel Johnson

  Crucible, Body, Limits

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• I have no more pleasure in hearing a man attempting wit and failing, than in seeing a man trying to leap over a ditch and tumbling into it

  Samuel Johnson

  Men, Trying, Tumbling

  James Boswell, Samuel Johnson (1799). “Boswell's Life of Johnson: Including Boswell's Journal of a Tour of the Hebrides, and Johnson's Diary of A Journey Into North Wales”, p.525

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• It may be said that his wit shines at the expense of his memory.

  Alain-Rene Lesage

  Memories, Shining, May

  Alain-Rene Lesage (2011). “The Adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane”, p.263, The Floating Press

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• The essence of the ludicrous consists in surprise,--in unexpected terms of feeling and explosions of thought,--often bringing dissimilar things together with a shock; as when some wit called Boyle, the celebrated philosopher, the father of chemistry and brother of the Earl of Cork.

  Edwin Percy Whipple

  Brother, Father, Essence

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• Wit is the only wall between us and the dark.

  Mark Van Doren

  Wise, Wisdom, Wall

  Mark Van Doren (1939). “Collected Poems, 1922-1938”

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• A man often runs the risk of throwing away a witticism if he admits that it is his own.

  Jean de la Bruyere

  Running, Men, Risk

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• Few influential people involved with the Internet claim that it is a good in and of itself. It is a powerful tool for solving social problems, just as it is a tool for making money, finding lost relatives, receiving medical advice, or, come to that, trading instructions for making bombs.

  Esther Dyson

  Powerful, People, Advice

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• When the age is in, the wit is out

  William Shakespeare

  Age

  'Much Ado About Nothing' (1598-9) act 3, sc. 5, l. [36]

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• Wit is an intermittent fountain; kindness is a perennial spring.

  Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

  Kindness, Spring, Fountain

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• The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

  Oscar Wilde

  Inspirational, Dream, Future

  Oscar Wilde (2007). “The Collected Works of Oscar Wilde”, p.568, Wordsworth Editions

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• You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

  Dorothy Parker

  Dogma, Tricks, Teach

  Attributed to Dorothy Parker after her death in Robert E. Drennan "The Algonquin Wits" (p. 124), 1968.

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• The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

  James Thurber

  Fun, World, Comedy

  Interview with Edward R. Murrow on "Small World", CBS-TV, March 25, 1959.

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• 

  The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

  "Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young" (1894)

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• Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Inspirational, Funny

  Oscar Wilde (1947). “The Happy Prince”, p.16, New Line Publishing

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• If you don't know where you are currently standing, you're dead.

  Samuel Beckett

  Baseball, Goals Dreams, Yankees

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• Wit, like money, bears an extra value when rung down immediately it is wanted. Men pay severely who require credit.

  Douglas William Jerrold

  Men, Credit, Pay

  Douglas William Jerrold, Blanchard Jerrold (1859). “Specimens of Douglas Jerrold's wit: together with selections, chiefly from his contributions to journals, intended to illustrate his opinions”, p.103

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• True wit is nature to advantage dressed;
  What oft was thought, but ne'er so well expressed.

  Alexander Pope

  Nature, Tongue, Advantage

  "A Selection from the Poetry of Alexander Pope".

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• If you do not know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere

  Henry A. Kissinger

  Inspiring, Success, Baseball

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• A wise man will live as much within his wit as within his income.

  Lord Chesterfield

  Wise, Men, Advice

  Lord Chesterfield, David Roberts (2008). “Lord Chesterfield's Letters”, p.346, Oxford University Press

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• Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Native American, Humor, Leaving

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.238, University of Georgia Press

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• He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious.

  Yogi Berra

  Funny, Baseball, Yankees

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• I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.

  Yogi Berra

  Baseball, School, Kids

  "Yogi Berra: The greatest financial planner ever?" by Ric Edelman, www.cnbc.com. January 25, 2016.

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