The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the # telephone .
First words on the first telephone - "Mr. Watson - come here - I want to see you."
It is my heart-warmed and world-embracing Christmas hope and aspiration that all of us, the high, the low, the rich, the poor, the admired, the despised, the loved, the hated, the civilized, the savage (every man and brother of us all throughout the whole earth), may eventually be gathered together in a heaven of everlasting rest and peace and bliss, except the inventor of the telephone.
Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
An amazing invention - but who would ever want to use one?
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
No, I'm not interested in developing a powerful brain.
I don't answer the phone. I get the feeling whenever I do that there will be someone on the other end.
I'd play every day if I could. It's cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart.
What this power is, I cannot say... All I know is that it exists.
I don't like telephones.
If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call to make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?
A man, as a general rule, owes very little to what he is born with - a man is what he makes of himself.
Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, and paradise is when you have none.
Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers.
Many a man wishes he were strong enough to tear a telephone book in half - especially if he has a teenage daughter.
A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.
TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.
or simply: