Rodney Dangerfield Quotes About Comedy

Quotes about: Comedy

• When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Pregnancy, Moving

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Girl, Humor

• I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Hate, Humorous

  "Laugh Off: The Comedy Showdown Between Real Life and the Pros". Book by Bob Fenster, 2005.

• I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Marriage, Hilarious

• My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Cousin, Gay, London

• I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Happy, Fathers Day, Dad

  "R.I.P. Rodney Dangerfield", www.indiewire.com. October 6, 2004.

• I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Yellow, Ties

• I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Reading, Humor

• Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Acting, Doe, Actors

• I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Mother, Humor

• I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  People, Pet, Comedy

• I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Running, Respect, Romance

• My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Sex, Wife, Car

• This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Morning, Laughing, Guy

• I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Witty, Sex

• My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Inspirational, Sexy, Home

• I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Motivational, Comedy

• My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Mother, Humor

• My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Humor, Suicidal

• Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Dad, Humor

• The sign on the bar said: 'girls- topless, bottomless', I went inside and there was nobody there!

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Girl, Humor

• Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Running, Dad

• What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Humor, Kids

• Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Drinking, Zombie, Bartending

• I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Real, Humor

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