I've made it a rule never to drink by daylight and never to refuse a drink after dark.
The federal [bank deposit] insurance scheme has worked up to now simply and solely because there have been very few bank failures. The next time we have a pestilence of them it will come to grief quickly enough, and if the good banks escape ruin with the bad ones it will be only because the taxpayer foots the bill.
A man is called a good fellow for doing things which, if done by a woman, would land her in a lunatic asylum.
It seems to me that you are better off, as a writer and as an American, in a small town than you'd be in New York. I thoroughly detest New York, though I have to go there very often.... Have you ever noticed that no American writer of any consequence lives in Manhattan? Dreiser tried it (after many years in the Bronx), but finally moved to California.
The book of Genesis, a farrago of nonsense so wholly absurd that even Sunday-school scholars have to be threatened with Hell to make them accept it.
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
There is always a sheet of paper. There is always a pen. There is always a way out.
The objection to a Communist always resolves itself into the fact that he is not a gentleman.
What ails the truth is that it is mainly uncomfortable, and often dull. The human mind seeks something more amusing, and more caressing.
The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
New York is the place where all the aspirations of the western world meet to form one vast master aspiration, as powerful as the suction of a steam dredge. It is the icing on the pie called Christian civilization.
A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
No man is worthy of unlimited reliance-his treason, at best, only waits for sufficient temptation.
If x is the population of the United States and y is the degree of imbecility of the average American, then democracy is the theory that x times y is less than y
Without a doubt there are women who would vote intelligently. There are also men who knit socks beautifully.
The Old Testament, as everyone who has looked into it is aware, drips with blood; there is, indeed, no more bloody chronicle in all the literature of the world.
Democracy the domination of unreflective and timorous men, moved in vast herds by mob conditions.
An altruist is one who would be sincerely sorry to see his neighbor's children devoured by wolves.
A home is not a mere transient shelter: its essence lies in the personalities of the people who live in it.
A gentlemen is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.
To every complex question there is a simple answer and it is wrong.
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.... A man full of faith is simply one who has lost (or never had) the capacity for clear and realistic thought. He is not a mere ass: he is actually ill.
What is any political campaign save a concerted effort to turn out a set of politicians who are admittedly bad and put in a set who are thought to be better. The former assumption, I believe is always sound; the latter is just as certainly false. For if experience teaches us anything at all it teaches us this: that a good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
The only way to reconcile science and religion is to set up something which is not science and something that is not religion.
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