Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
Nixon's motto was, if two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Two wrongs don't make a right.
The second mouse gets the cheese!
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
The problems that exist in this world can not be solved by the level of thinking that created them.
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one way; wisdom is looking in both directions anyway.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.
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