Bathroom Quotes - Page 7

• Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom.

  Jasper Fforde

  Fall, Shoes, One Day

  Jasper Fforde (2011). “One of our Thursdays is Missing: Thursday Next”, p.22, Hachette UK

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• I shut the bathroom door and caught sight of my face in the mirror. I had no idea how quickly it was to change, to fade. If I had, I would have stared at my reflection, memorizing it. It was the last time I would look into a real mirror for more than a decade.

  Ruta Sepetys

  Real, Reflection, Doors

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• How are we doing, Simon?" she whispered into the small microphone in her collar. "Just about..." Simon started slowly. And then he stopped. "Wow." "What?" she asked, panic in her voice. "Nothing," he said too quickly. "What?" she asked again. "Well...it's just that...your boobs look even bigger on TV." Kat took that opportunity to turn and glare at the nearest security camera. In his bathroom stall thirty feet away, Simon nearly fell off the toilet.

  Ally Carter

  Opportunity, Voice, Feet

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• I sat up in bed. "What did he say?" Tyson groaned, still half asleep. He was lying facedown on the couch, his feet so far over the edge they were in the bathroom. "The happy man said...bowling practice?" I hoped he was right, but then there was an urgent knock on the suite's interior door. Annabeth stuck her head in--her blonde hair in a rat's nest. "DISEMBOWLING practice?

  Rick Riordan

  Lying, Men, Feet

  Rick Riordan (2007). “The Sea of Monsters”, Disney-Hyperion

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• Love dries up, I thought as I walked back to the bathroom, even faster than sperm.

  Charles Bukowski

  Faster

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• At least that's what his note said, along with a scathing reminder that dishes didn't wash themselves and the fungus in the bathroom was one day away from evolving into sentient life. I folded the note into an airplane and sailed it across the room. It ended up perched jauntily on top of the ancient television. It looked good there and I left it as a tribute to freedom-loving fungi everywhere.

  Rob Thurman

  Airplane, One Day, Television

  Rob Thurman (2006). “Nightlife”, p.34, Penguin

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• EVE:so thats the bathroom where shane spends houres doing his hair shane:bite me

  Rachel Caine

  Hair, Shane, Bite Me

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• What is it with girls?” Elliot said, splitting a smile between us. “I swear, I’ve never known a girl who could go to the bathroom alone.” He leaned forward and grinned conspiratorially. “Let me in on the secret. Seriously. I’ll pay you five bucks each.” He reached for his back pocket. “Ten, if I can come along and see what the big deal is.

  Becca Fitzpatrick

  Girl, Secret, Pockets

  Becca Fitzpatrick (2012). “Hush, Hush”, p.174, Simon and Schuster

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• What is it with you and girls’ bathrooms?

  Becca Fitzpatrick

  Girl, Sydney Sage

  Becca Fitzpatrick (2014). “Hush, Hush Parts 1 & 2: includes Hush, Hush and Crescendo”, p.208, Simon and Schuster

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• She crawled,” Ben said. There were tears in his voice. That was wrong. Ben barely even tolerated me on the best of days. “She crawled to the bathroom to clean herself again. If it weren’t for the two subs in the pack, I’d be on the bottom. And she wouldn’t stand up in my presence for guilt.

  Patricia Briggs

  Two, Voice, Guilt

  Patricia Briggs (2008). “Iron Kissed”, p.259, Penguin

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• Amy bit her lip. "I was so scared, Dan. I couldn't think. She shook her head. "I feel so ashamed of myself. If it wasn't for you, we would have been toast." "Whoa," Dan said. "If you're throwing a pity party for yourself, don't invite me." He poked her. "You were the one who got Jonah to find us. Awesome lung power. I thought you only used that volume to get me out of the bathroom.

  Judy Blundell

  Party, Thinking, Amy

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• Everybody needs a seashell in her bathroom to remind her the ocean is her home.

  Sue Monk Kidd

  Ocean, Home, Needs

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• In our society, more and more, people are running around offended by syllables, even. People are afraid to say anything. It reminds me of the days of the old Soviet Union, where people would have to go into the bathroom to say what they were really thinking.

  Rush Limbaugh

  Running, Thinking, People

  Source: www.golfdigest.com

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• Sometimes, all it takes to save people from a terrible fate is one person willing to do something about it. Even if that "something" is a fake bathroom break.

  Veronica Roth

  Fate, People, Fake

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• My understanding of Twitter was that it was a bunch of famous people telling you when they're going to the bathroom. And, that was not something I wanted to be part of.

  Kerry Washington

  Women, People, Understanding

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• The knives in my apartment are only sharp enough to open envelopes with. Cutting a slice of coarse bread is on the borderline of their ability. I don't need anything sharper. Otherwise, on bad days, it might easily occur to me that I could always go stand in the bathroom in front of the mirror and slit my throat. On such occasions it's nice to have the added security of needing to go downstairs and borrow a decent knife from a neighbor.

  Peter Høeg

  Nice, Suicidal, Bad Day

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• They gave 12 monkeys a typewriter for a week, and after a week, they only used it as a bathroom.

  Robin Ince

  Technology, Typewriters, Monkeys

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• The umpire... is like the geyser in the bathroom; we cannot do without it, yet we notice it only when it is out of order.

  Neville Cardus

  Sports, Order, Umpires

  Neville Cardus (2012). “Cardus on Cricket: A selection from the cricket writings of Sir Neville Cardus”, p.149, Souvenir Press

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• Hollywood is a coke town, but weed is so much better. And Molly, too; those are happy drugs - social drugs. They make you want to be with friends. You're out in the open. You're not in a bathroom.

  Miley Cyrus

  Weed, Marijuana, Drug

  "Miley Cyrus on Why She Loves Weed, Went Wild at the VMAs and Much More" By Josh Eells, www.rollingstone.com. September 27, 2013.

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• I tried the Scarsdale diet and the Stillman water diet (you remember that one, where you run weight off trying to get to the bathroom).

  Dolly Parton

  Funny, Running, Humor

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• After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms . . . both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.

  Dennis Miller

  Marriage, Couple, Years

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• If you get up at three in the morning to go to the bathroom, man, why you have to turn on that little light? Put the torch there on the nightstand.

  Hugo Chavez

  Morning, Men, Light

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• & this girl right here? Who knows what she knows? So I'm going through her phone when she go to the bathroom and her purse right there, I don't trust these hoes at all.

  Drake

  Girl, Phones, Hoe

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• Write in the kitchen, lock yourself up in the bathroom. Write on the bus or the welfare line, on the job or during meals.

  Gloria E. Anzaldúa

  Jobs, Writing, Kitchen

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• The writing process is sort of like when you've got no electricity and you've gotten up in the middle of the night to find the bathroom, feeling your way along in the dark. I can't hardly tell you what I do because I really don't know.

  Carolyn Chute

  Writing, Dark, Night

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