Bathroom Quotes - Page 11

• Some people out there think everything I do is a publicity stunt, they think when I go to the bathroom it's a publicity stunt.

  Madonna Ciccone

  Thinking, People, Publicity

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• If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing of teeth. It's not realistic to believe that you will live your promises as a daily practice -- unless you're a saint or a highly evolved Zen Buddhist. Not where marriage is concerned. But you can make a practice of returning to your vows when the going gets rough.

  Harriet Lerner

  Buddhist, Morning, Believe

  "Returning To Your Wedding Vows" by Harriet Lerner, www.huffingtonpost.com. April 2, 2012.

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• Readers, on the other hand, have at least 7.5 books going all the time. Actually, the number of books a reader takes on is usually directly related to the number of bathrooms he has in his home and office. I am working on a survey that will show that, over a lifetime, readers are in bathrooms seven years and three months longer than nonreaders.

  Calvin Miller

  Book, Home, Hands

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• Anecdote: The extent of Michael Jackson's fame at its height, and his eagerness to exploit it is shown by an incident in 1984 when invited to a White House reception hosted by then President and First Lady Ronald and Nancy Reagan. Jackson had been assured that the only people there, besides the presidential couple, would be a few staff members' children. Aghast to find around 75 adults and no children, Jackson locked himself in an upstairs bathroom, refusing to emerge until assured that all non-essential adults had been replaced by a number of children.

  Michael Jackson

  Children, Couple, White

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• If you go to Europe, public bathrooms have any-gender sink areas and stalls for everyone to use. This is completely reasonable. It potentially involves the destruction of the urinal industry, which I think people would be happy to see go away.

  Jill Soloway

  Thinking, Europe, People

  Source: www.motherjones.com

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• The first time I felt I was famous was when I went to the movies with my mom. I had gone to the loo, and someone in the bathroom said in a very loud voice, Girl in stall No. 1 were you in Mystic Pizza? I paused and I said, yeah that was me.

  Julia Roberts

  Girl, Mom, Loud Voices

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com. August 2, 1999.

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• I completely bombed the audition... I was insecure, stopping and starting. I went to the bathroom and cried.

  Lake Bell

  Insecure, Stopping, Auditions

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Always go to the bathroom before you ‘go’ to the bathroom.

  Craig Benzine

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• I'm like, bursting. I should be working. I don't want to take a break. It's funny, on set, I don't have to go to the bathroom, I don't have anything wrong, I'm perfectly fine, so through-and-through. I'm not hungry. I'm literally not even in my own body.

  Kristen Stewart

  Funny, Body, Want

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• I rather like the idea of having all my hours to myself: eating a Fudge Sundae, watching a movie, sleeping on my couch, singing in the bathroom, studying the woods, kidding around with a girl, playing cards lazily - all kinds of stuff that American brands 'shiftless.'

  Jack Kerouac

  Girl, Sleep, Ice Cream

  Jack Kerouac (2000). “Atop an Underwood: Early Stories and Other Writings”, p.136, Penguin

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• I lay there for three whole days, totally paralyzed. My friends helped me to the bathroom and anywhere else I needed to move; but I have very vague impressions of those days because it was a time of complete darkness for me. Somebody told me later that what I had was a form of hysteria: my body and my mid fled into paralysis. There was nothing wrong with me organically, but somewhere inside I suffered a complete breakdown.

  Diet Eman

  Moving, Hysteria, Darkness

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• That game was dedicated to Rick Adelman. I'm at home, in the bathroom, trying to take a dump, flipping through the channels and he's complaining (on TV) about how I'm stepping over the line. I can't even do a No. 2 in peace. I'm sitting there grunting at 12:30 at night. Can I go one day without somebody saying something negative about me?

  Shaquille O'Neal

  Basketball, Home, Night

  "Shaq's Top 10 NBA Finals quotes" by Marc Stein, www.espn.com. June 12, 2006.

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• I'm going to be on a mission. I've handled my personal vendettas and handled them well. Every challenge you put in front of me, I've handled it, dismantled it - ate them, dropped them off in the bathroom and flushed them away.

  Shaquille O'Neal

  Basketball, Challenges, Missions

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• You cannot have one bathroom. And it don't matter how much you love your wife and everything, 'cause you wind up with no room at all. You just get a little corner and you've got a toothbrush and your paste and a shaving brush and a razor. And you can never get in there. So you must have two bathrooms. You really must. I think it's essential.

  Michael Caine

  Love You, Thinking, Wind

  "Michael Caine: A Life Large Enough For An Encore". Interview with Scott Simon, www.npr.org. October 30, 2010.

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• If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Husband, Humor

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• Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.

  Phyllis Diller

  Sleep, Bed, Gone

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• A country without bordellos is like a house without bathrooms.

  Marlene Dietrich

  Country, House

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• Excuse me, everybody, I have to go to the bathroom. I really have to telephone, but I'm too embarrassed to say so.

  Dorothy Parker

  Telephones, Excuse, Embarrassed

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• Among the reasons marriages fail, sex ranks no higher than fourth, behind money, having only one bathroom, and an inability to communicate, reasons one, two and three.

  Bette Davis

  Sex, Two, Inability

  Bette Davis (2017). “This 'n That”, p.40, Hachette UK

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• Studs Lonigan, on the verge of fifteen, and wearing his first suit of long trousers, stood in the bathroom with a Sweet Caporal pasted on his mug.

  James T. Farrell

  Sweet, Book, Long

  James T. Farrell (2001). “Studs Lonigan”, p.22, Penguin

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• I grew up in a very small house with five brothers and sisters and my parents, all with one little bathroom. And from as early as I can remember, seven, eight years old, I was listening to music to get a way from it all. Then the discovery of all this amazing stuff that became more than just getting away from it, it became a part of my DNA.

  John Varvatos

  Brother, Eight, Dna

  "The GQ+A: John Varvatos on His New Book 'John Varvatos: Rock in Fashion'". Interview with Scott Christian, www.gq.com. October 17, 2013.

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• Marriage accustomed one to the good things, so one came to take them for granted, but it magnified the bad things, so they came to feel as painful as a grain in one's eye. An open window, a forgotten quart of milk, a TV set left blaring, socks on the bathroom floor could become occasions for incredible rage.

  Marilyn French

  Eye, Milk, Tvs

  Marilyn French (2011). “The Women's Room”, p.253, Hachette UK

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• The only really firm rule of taste about cross dressing is that neither sex should ever wear anything they haven't yet figured out how to go to the bathroom in.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Fashion, Sex, Taste

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.108, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• Well, it looks like John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. He is the son of a bartender, one of 12 children. He grew up in a two room home with just one bathroom, worked his way through school, became the first person in his family to graduate from college. And, sadly, fell in with the wrong crowd and wound up in Congress.

  Jay Leno

  Children, Home, School

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• In high school I was an outcast I wasn't cool to hang out with. I ate my lunch in a bathroom stall because that was the one place I could go where I wouldn't been seen.

  Shay Mitchell

  School, Lunch, Outcast

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